How many mini-tasks do you do before 8am?

[m0j1to]

Kind of following on from the "mental load" thread, I think lots of women are in the position of having effectively done the equivalent of maybe half a days work before they even leave the house "of a morning"?

This would be a typical weekday morning for me -

5.30. Get up. Feed and deal with cats / litter trays. Get showered and ready.

6.00 Iron and "de-fluff" 4 school uniforms (hazard of 3 white Persian cats ). Lay out all clothes for DC
Make sure PE kits are in bags.
Check correct homework is in bags etc.

6.30 Take DH coffee in bed and wake him up. Wake everyone up. Start making breakfast, unloading dishwasher and whatever else. Up and down stairs in the meantime for people asking where's this and where's that and general moaning.

7.00 Serve everyone breakfast - to various specifications

7.20 DS1 and DD1 leave.
Run round and make sure bathrooms ok and no underwear etc left around the place, beds made etc (particularly on days cleaner is coming). Put some laundry in. Make beds.

7.30 DH leaves. Tidy kitchen and see if I can get DD2 and 3 (twins) to do 15 mins music practice if they didn't do it the night before.
Do whatever hairstyles of the day on both.

7.55 Leave for school run.

This is NOT meant to be a moan or sound like a martyr complex because after this, my time is more or less my own until 3pm. But AIBU to think that actually most women do a multitude of such mini-tasks every morning which other members of the household are barely aware of?

You may well ask why I don't do a lot of this stuff in the evenings and I do try to, but the evenings are busy too with dinner, homework, baths and bedtimes. DS1 not in bed until 10 and I'm generally too tired by then.

You need a Dyson hand held animal hoover- marvelous for pet hair.

m0j1to Nothing about your situation seems normal, from the enormous house, the cleaner 2/3 times a week despite the fact that you don't work, the secondary age children who can't pack their own bags/make breakfast and the fluff everywhere. You are very much in a minority so why do you think other women will be like you are in the morning?

Loads of women do far more than me in the morning. Read some of the posts on here even. Some people are on farms and all sorts.
The house has nothing to do with the price of fish. If you were to meet my kids they are very normal and well-behaved, even DD1 (to other people). DH is normal too.

I love this thread just because the OP writes floof for fluff and I think it is most descriptive of a Persian cat.

Get up with DS
Feed the cat
Do litter tray
Let cat out
Feed the fish and switch on tank lights
Dress DS
Get DS Breakfast
Shower, dress and make up
Nag DH to get up
Play with DS / put TV programme on for DS / answer eternal random questions from DS
Nag DH to get up
Tidy living room
Puts DS breakfast dishes away
Nag DH to get up
Take DH a drink
Resist urge to pour drink over snoring DH
Put laundry on
Check bank and pay any bills / transfer money
Check emails
Fill DS water bottle
Ensure DS has clean face and teeth
Ensure DS has everything he needs for school
Cajole / bribe / threaten DS to put on coat and shoes
Take DS to school

At 7.45 my maid brings me black tea with lemon, two soft boiled eggs, freshly squeezed clementine juice and The Times.
I really don't know how you all cope.

OP - I would say you're not getting enough sleep if you're going to bed at 10.30 and staying awake for a while after that. That means you are getting maybe 6.5 hours of sleep.

I'd simplify the mornings and sleep later or else forget about trying to stay awake after 10.30. For a 5.30 start, you should probably be asleep by 10.

Loads of women do far more than me in the morning. Read some of the posts on here even. Some people are on farms and all sorts.
The house has nothing to do with the price of fish. If you were to meet my kids they are very normal and well-behaved, even DD1 (to other people). DH is normal too.

Obviously people do more than you very early in the morning if they work on farms or do other paid work that requires an early start but that isn't specific to women and certainly not SAHM of school age children. I am not suggesting that your children aren't well behaved but they certainly seem far behind other children their age with regard to organising themselves and being self-sufficient. I mentioned the large house because it seems to require an abnormal amount of cleaning/tidying if you find it so hard to keep on top of the cat hair and other cleaning despite not working and having a cleaner.

Loads of women do far more than me in the morning. Read some of the posts on here even. Some people are on farms and all sorts.
The house has nothing to do with the price of fish. If you were to meet my kids they are very normal and well-behaved, even DD1 (to other people). DH is normal too.

Obviously people do more than you very early in the morning if they work on farms or do other paid work that requires an early start but that isn't specific to women and certainly not SAHM of school age children. I am not suggesting that your children aren't well behaved but they certainly seem far behind other children their age with regard to organising themselves and being self-sufficient. I mentioned the large house because it seems to require an abnormal amount of cleaning/tidying if you find it so hard to keep on top of the cat hair and other cleaning despite not working and having a cleaner.

This morning went

Get up at 6am and shower self and get dressed
Help/chase 7yr old into shower.
Get clothes out for 5yo and 7yo and nag them to get ready
Finish getting self ready
Pack lunches
Pack PE kit
Get children breakfast
Empty dishwasher
Hang out washing
Go to vote (with children)
Clean bathroom floor as 5yo missed the toilet
Put on load of washing
Load dishwasher
Quick tidy round house - bring water bottle downstairs
Put toothpaste on
Give children hay fever meds
Help children clean teeth
Open curtains
Go to work at 7.30

No wonder I am knackered when I see it written like that!

I average about 5.5 hrs a night I think. If I need to wash my hair I get up earlier. DH can easily keep going until 12 because he's hyper and can't wind down. I'm in a habit of waking and sitting bolt upright at about 5 and that seems to be my body clock.
DH away tonight but will I'll be watching exit polls if I don't snooze off.

Lapin and theymade

m0j1to No, there were about 200 tadpoles in our fish pond which are now froglets. This is right outside the back door pretty much and the babies are hopping onto the concrete slabs and getting all gritty and stuck. So I have to scoop them up into a tub and put them back in the pond.

The cats haven't discovered them yet but it's been raining so mostly been indoors being grumpy. I dread the day it's hot, I have to leave the back doors open and either have random frogs bouncing about all over the house because they've just hopped in the door or because the cats think they would make a nice present.

The little wildlife pond is up the top of the garden so may make a better home for them. I just don't think I will be able to catch all of them!

I'd murder someone if I was averaging 5.5 hours.

Seriously, you'll find your dd much easier to deal with if you get more sleep.

Youngest comes in at 7.30 and cuddles & watches TV

Older 2 get themselves dressed and downstairs for breakfast

By 8am, be downstairs having showered, made beds and put a wash on

Make packed lunches, walk dog, do girls hair do's

Hoover the downstairs / clean downstairs bathroom / empty and reload dishwasher

School run at 8.45 and off for the day

5:00- wake up and read online news headlines in bed.

5:10- get up, tidy living room and kitchen, feed the cat, empty the bathroom and kitchen bins, wash any glassware hanging around from the evening, put a load of laundry on, hang washed laundry up/out.

5:30- light candles in living room,get cup of tea, cosy up on the couch and write out the day's agenda and to-do list.

5:40- check work emails and finish cup of tea whilst marking books/finishing up any lesson plans.

6:00- shower, skincare routine, get dressed, do hair & makeup, pack work handbag, fill a water bottle and add sliced lemon (husband makes lunches).

7:00- breakfast with husband.

7:15- brush teeth and leave for work.

8:00- arrive at school and straight into first meeting of the day!

The only household thing I do on a work day is wake dd3 and make sure she has school clothes ready for her. Sometimes I pop to the shop to buy milk for breakfast. I may get her breakfast for her if she is up early. Dd1, dd2 sort own breakfast. DH does the rest.

I know you are happy with doing what you do OP but really you are not doing your kids any favours by micromanagibg tgem and not getting them to do basic chores or tasks such as packing school bags. I would suggest a chores rota including laundry. Otherwise in years to come we will aee their future partners on here moaning about how bloody useless/unhelpful they are expecting to be waited on.

I too am basically a sahm with a cleaner and only one dc at home now. My DH shares morning routine - making me a cuppa! It doesn't mean you have to be a complete slave to everyone in the house.

Good grief the number of typos- stubby fingers on iPhone

163.5

What is 163.5?

The number of mini-tasks I do before 8am annoying

I'm a sahm and dd isn't at school yet. Either me or dp get up with her, usually depends on who wakes first, and on weekends one of us might want a lie in so the other will get up. Whoever gets up will make her breakfast and get her dressed if she needs to be somewhere. That's about it before 8am.

I know it's different because I don't have to worry about uniforms yet, but if your dh is so shit, why are you making him a coffee every morning?

WOHM, 2 teenagers

7.00 get up, feed cats, take laundry from machine.
7.15 sort own breakfast.
7.45 hang up laundry. Wash and dress. Wash breakfast dishes. Pack own bag. Pack own lunch. Water greenhouse plants if it's sunny.
8.30 leave for work (10 minute journey)

When the kids were younger we used to set the table the night before and help them find stuff. Now everyone takes responsibility for themselves. If DH is at home for the day I leave the laundry and dishes to him. No ironing of DCs' uniform, ever. Occasionally I will iron what I'm about to wear, if it needs it.

Cats have access to outside via catflap, so no litter trays. Only clothes in the linen basket get washed. They all know this.

I didn't say DH is bad. He works very hard indeed and all he really wants is some kind of cooked breakfast. He doesn't eat cereal. He says it all helps his morning, so I think that's fair enough. If he's been out 12 hours then I wouldn't expect him to start fending for himself later. He does lots for me in other ways.
This morning I was tired and thinking about all the mini things that in themselves are not worth mentioning, but which actually add up to quite a lot. I still think women are generally like me in the mornings (despite probably 100 posts to the contrary on here ).

I have found this thread fascinating!

I have DD 8, DS 4 months, DH 33 😀 and a dog

I do a fair amount because I like to come home from school run to a tidy/organised house.

DH has baby (who wakes between 7-7.30am) until 8am giving bottle/cuddle etc. Works well as quality time for both and means I can get some bits done and DH gets to stay in bed!

DD lets the dog out, gets herself dressed (clothes out night before), gets breakfast (something simple) brushes her teeth and hair. She has a peg for her School bag and that gets organised the night before also.
Apart from a bit of chivvying along she is fab and we rarely have a stressful morning. We have had the same routine since she started reception (of course she needed a bit more support then)

Me -

6.30 up and shower
6.45 wake DD up
6.45-7.00 make tea for me and DH/baby's bottle and juice for DD. Empty dishwasher whilst waiting for kettle to boil. Feed dog.
7.00 sit down for 15 mins, drink tea browse Internet
7.15 - 7.40 tidy kitchen & re load dishwasher/take washing out (which has been set to come on at 6am)/wash & sterilise bottles and decant baby's formula for the day/put washing away from night before/put another load on
7.40 blow dry hair/make up/dressed
8.00 Take baby - wash and dress for day
8.15 Make Beds/wipe round bathroom once DH finished
8.25 plait DD's hair/ensure she has cleaned teeth etc/water bottle and snack for DD
8.35 leave for school run