How many mini-tasks do you do before 8am?

[m0j1to]

Kind of following on from the "mental load" thread, I think lots of women are in the position of having effectively done the equivalent of maybe half a days work before they even leave the house "of a morning"?

This would be a typical weekday morning for me -

5.30. Get up. Feed and deal with cats / litter trays. Get showered and ready.

6.00 Iron and "de-fluff" 4 school uniforms (hazard of 3 white Persian cats ). Lay out all clothes for DC
Make sure PE kits are in bags.
Check correct homework is in bags etc.

6.30 Take DH coffee in bed and wake him up. Wake everyone up. Start making breakfast, unloading dishwasher and whatever else. Up and down stairs in the meantime for people asking where's this and where's that and general moaning.

7.00 Serve everyone breakfast - to various specifications

7.20 DS1 and DD1 leave.
Run round and make sure bathrooms ok and no underwear etc left around the place, beds made etc (particularly on days cleaner is coming). Put some laundry in. Make beds.

7.30 DH leaves. Tidy kitchen and see if I can get DD2 and 3 (twins) to do 15 mins music practice if they didn't do it the night before.
Do whatever hairstyles of the day on both.

7.55 Leave for school run.

This is NOT meant to be a moan or sound like a martyr complex because after this, my time is more or less my own until 3pm. But AIBU to think that actually most women do a multitude of such mini-tasks every morning which other members of the household are barely aware of?

You may well ask why I don't do a lot of this stuff in the evenings and I do try to, but the evenings are busy too with dinner, homework, baths and bedtimes. DS1 not in bed until 10 and I'm generally too tired by then.

My 'day' can start at 2am depending when my husband has to get to work (lorry driver).

I have just finished work to be a sahm/manage smallholding ( pregnant with number 1).

I'll try to bring a load of laundry to be washed down before making DH lunch.
Feed the cat.
Put dry cups etc away from draining board.
Maybe put away dry laundry from day before (if I'm still awake).
Back to bed with alarm set for 7.
Get dressed to go outside.
Feed 8 dogs and walk them (all at the same time as they just run free except the greyhound).
Feed/water/collect eggs/let out chickens and ducks.
Feed horses (depending on season).
Feed/water guinea pigs.
Check dog kennels for if they need water and see if they left anything to clear up (I don't clear up their poop while pregnant though).
Go have a cuppa while the dogs have a good run outside.
Put dogs in, take any food bowls away.
Get any laundry that is done on the washing line.
Wash up dishes by hand (yes I still live in the stone age 😂).
Feet up to relax and have breakfast at around 9am.

Guaranteed when baby comes along this will all go to pot though 😝

it's disrespectful to the cleaner

Wow it takes some level of cognitive dissonance to have a thought process where you tell yourself that leaving mess is 'disrespectful' to the paid cleaner but not to you, who they love??

The school trousers and skirts have to come from the school shops and are not cheap no, but even if I have the nanny ready the day before, they still need de-catflufging in the mornings anyway as the fluff dmfrin 3 cats seems to be in the air and wardrobes, so I might as well just go the ones they had on.

Fluff is not going to get into closed wardrobes. I can see why you don't have more than one blazer but seems odd not to have more than one of other things as considering you can afford a cleaner twice a week despite being a SAHM finances can't be an issue. Anyway, that only explains one job you feel the need to do. The rest can be mostly be done during the day or by the children the night before e.g. bag packing.

"Quite a few bathrooms" - ah, to reach the stage in life where you're not quite sure of the number of bathrooms in one's house!

Has this thread achieved anything for anyone? All we know is that the op is perfectly happy with her lot. She does loads of faffing before 8am, not much after, and has a big house with uncountable bathrooms, a cleaner twice a week, kids in a school with expensive uniform...

What can we learn from this?

What can we learn from this? - stop wasting time on Mumsnet?!

The DDs in primary school just have 1 piece of homework every night - a comprehension or maths. That's easy enough to chuck into bags.

DS1 is self-sufficient and zi have nothing to do with his bags. Except his rugby kit and cricket kits when he needs them

DD1 really struggles with homework. She had a mental block about even getting it out the bags. Cue screaming and hysteria. She gets 3 subjects every night and it's a real battle that's I have to psyche myself up for. After all that, I just look at her timetable for the next day and pack her bag because I can't cope with any more. She does ballet, netball and swimming at school and needs any combo of these kits and I just do this as well because it's too much of a battle in her case.

The floof is in the wardrobes. It's in the tumble drier - everywhere! I need the past I've generally had spare trousers and so on, but when they went missing just didn't bother as it makes little difference.

stop wasting time on Mumsnet?!

Indeed

5am get up (or 520 get shouted awake by OH).
Wee, make tea, do teeth, get dressed (OH gets kids up and gives them milk and snack if asked for and empties the dishwasher).

5.15 dress kids, do teeth (OH gets dressed, gets the post from the box down the rd, checks in on MIL, gets the pram ready).

5.30 get coat and shoes on (kids get in the pram/car helped by OH)
Walk the mile ish to nursery and back. (OH gets ready for work has brast etc and leaves about 7am).

6.30 start work, I work from home until 14.30

Get up at 4.30. 😭

Nurse ds, dh brings me coffee. Feed dog, feed cats, clean, feed and water chicks, clean, feed and water chickens, water flowers gardens, water veg gardens, put a load of laundry away, put a load of laundry on, walk the dog, tidy up from breakfast, get ds dressed, Hoover quickly around the house, exercise if I get time, shower, call my Dad who's not well.

Any time left over and I clean the bathrooms.

Now I feel bloody tired seeing it all written down!

Up at 6.30. Kids set table for breakfast and sort breakfast. I do any cooked breakfasts
7.05 - I take dd to bus
Dh does ds's packed lunch and clears breakfast table
Ds unloads and loads dishwasher
7.30 -I get back, put on wash, do any reading/homework with Ds
8.25 - walk Ds to school

It changes as the DC get older but I'm a big fan of them helping as much as possible and being responsible for themselves.

My alarm goes off at 8am, sometimes 8.10. DS is eleven and gets his own breakfast...he goes in the shower supposedly at 7.45 and I jump in after.

I do hid lunch when I come down...uniform is usually doen the night before. Some days OH does the school run so I dont get up til after 9am

I'm not a morning person...

Three living rooms, lots of bathrooms? Are you the Queen? Seriously, cut the cleaner back a couple of hours a week and buy more school uniform. If you are at home it surely can't take long to hoover the house, even if it is the size of a small mansion.

And reading back this thread it seems I am the only person picking up endless baby frogs every morning. I have to do this several times a day and am now thinking I may try and catch as many as possible and move them to the wildlife pond up the garden so they don't get squished.

If I'm working
Up at 5.30, go for run
Back at 6.00, 10minutes yoga, shower, breakfast, dressed
7.00 tea for DH, wake up DSs (10 & 12) they're normally half awake by I still like to go in for a quick morning kiss and cuddle.
7.15 set off to work

If I'm not working same as above, except DH brings me a cuppa and I throw them all out of the house at 8.30.

DCs pack their own lunches the night before, put out their clothes and are responsible for their own homework. They also have to make their beds and ensure the bedrooms are tidyish.

OP you are not doing them any favours, part of parenting is allowing them to make mistakes and learn from them. I.e if homework isn't done, if it's a struggle it needs addressing.

Mycat - is the cat bringing baby frogs in?

I'm not a morning person so out mornings are as minimal as possible. DC teens now but when they were small everything was done the evening before so that in the morning:

DH get up, eat go to work 6:45
Me and dcs get up at 7, shower, dress, eat breakfast, leave at 7:45

We've had that routine so long now we can even hit the snooze button a few times and still not need to rush 😄

I know someone who happily admitted to running her DH's bath each morning!!!

All so he could loaf about in there whilst she did all the kid stuff.

DD1 really struggles with homework. She had a mental block about even getting it out the bags. Cue screaming and hysteria. She gets 3 subjects every night and it's a real battle that's I have to psyche myself up for. After all that, I just look at her timetable for the next day and pack her bag because I can't cope with any more. She does ballet, netball and swimming at school and needs any combo of these kits and I just do this as well because it's too much of a battle in her case.

It isn't normal for a parent to spend every evening trying to get their secondary school age child. If she is finding the work too hard you need to speak to the school. If she isn't doing it because she doesn't want to I would just leave her to it as I presume the school will punish her. That might concentrate her mind.
You are not doing her any favours by packing her bag. I don't think I have done this once for my secondary school age DDs. If they forget something after the first term in year 7 they get a detention so again that motivates them.

6.30am get up, get coffee, check facebook then wash up pots from last night's meal (yes i'm lazy i don't do it at night)
7am - get kids up (7 +9) make breakfasts + persuade them to eat
7.15 - tell kids to get dressed while i do same
7.30 - 8ish - kids have their jobs (spellings/make beds/tidy rooms/brush teeth) while i make our packed lunches and tidy up downstairs, load washing machine, vacuum etc.
8am - listen kids read their reading books, check their and my bags are sorted for the day.
8.30 - school run
8.45 - go to work.

Dh goes to work at 5.30am so not about to help in mornings and in evenings in between/after kids clubs/activities I do paperwork from work then dinner then like to relax, thats why i dont wash pots at night. Also i'm a morning person so would rather do cleaning jobs at start of day.

Three living rooms, lots of bathrooms? Are you the Queen? Seriously, cut the cleaner back a couple of hours a week and buy more school uniform.

Yes, I do find it very odd that OP can afford an enormous house and a cleaner at least twice a week but can't afford more than one uniform for each child.

Roomster of course it's not normal. The school are aware because I'm in communication with them. It's not about can't do the work. It's more complex than that and I'm doing my best to support her.

If I wanted more uniforms I'd but them, but I've explained that.

I'm a sahm to school age children too.

They can, and do, get themselves up, dressed, breakfasted and out the door on time. At the moment my dh leaves at the same time as them or later, so he keeps them company and offers me a hot drink.

If I feel like getting up I do, then I would empty the dishwasher whilst making tea and put some washing on or hang it up, but that just frees up more time for me during the school day, it's not essential to do it by a certain time.