AIBU to ask for your most appalling examples of sexism?

[Biscusting]

I've learned over time and with bitter experience my dad is terribly sexist. Every time I see him he has something grim to say that erodes my soul and chips at my confidence.
I won't give examples of his crimes but his father -my grandfather- had several girls and my father was his only son. When my fathers siblings went on to have children of their own, they all had girls (7 in total). My grandparents said practically nothing, but then they rarely seemed to at significant events.
When my younger brother was born, my grandfather went to visit my mum in hospital. He had never visited after any of the births of his other grandchildren and presented my mum with a single red rose, then left.

Cheer me up with some of your tales.

I'm very glad to hear that nolongersurprised! She will have a fantastic and successful future in STEM

Biscuits i have no words!

Client events we are invited to through work are often trips to rugby / cricket (which women are never invited to) or awful all-female "pampering" events.

Given that most of our clients are men, it means that my male colleagues get more opportunities to schmooze the important people while the women often get invited to gender-segregated events with more junior women.

Anyway, I would much rather have a few beers at the rugby than a slightly awkward manicure with stilted small talk!

Ex-Nurse here, not so long ago when I was still on the wards one of the consultants would demand the most senior Nurse on duty to do rounds with him.

Unless they was a male Nurse, even if that male was a first ward Nursing student. . . . He complained that I was obstreperous because I would send any male student to break when he start rounds. No way I was putting either my patients or my students in that position.

I work in IT support and have lost count of the number of times ive been asked 'so you know a bit about computers then?! '

Also been out for lots of meals and they always try and give me the fish dish cos obviously ladies dont eat steak or pies !

Just had a cold caller knock on the door and ask for 'the lady of the house'. Gah

Just had a cold caller knock on the door and ask for 'the lady of the house'. Gah

The Buck-ET residence! The lady of the house speaking!

'there's a reason women aren't on the front line in wars - it's because they don't have what it takes to look someone in the eye and then kill them.

Christ, he is asking for it, isn't he? Anyway what about that en first" about female terrorists who are deemed more blood thirsty than their male counterparts.

When trying to sell our house I contacted 3 estate agents for them to come round, view the house and suggest a price. They all asked if anyone else lived there and for his name. Fine. One of them then sent their quote addressed to him only even though they'd never spoken or met him. I phoned them up and told them I would not be using their company. I do think you should complain and find an alternative company if at all possible, eg with the mortgage broker up thread, not just quietly seethe.

Some of these are shocking! Mine is from today, had to email solicitors. I started the process, put much more money in, surprise surprise, its in dh's name! Grr.

I thankfully haven't had too many extreme examples. I seem to have been fairly lucky RE: cars, banks, letting agents etc. Our things tend to be joint (except the car, DP can't drive) and never had an issue with them addressing DP when their correspondence is with me.

The one that does pop into my head is DP's brother. He didn't like the recent Star Wars film 'because I don't like things where a bird is the main character'.

He also, upon hearing me and DP had gone shopping for home furnishings for our new flat, called DP a 'poofter' because that's 'the woman's job'.

I try to avoid him as much as possible.

'because I don't like things where a bird is the main character'.
Chicken Run?

I know that one Darth!

Chicken Run?

At uni, helped to build scaffolding towers for a stage production. When it came to dismantling them at the end of the production, one of the lads came up to me and said he'd undo the clamps for me.
Me: Er. Well. Okay.
Him (trying to turn wrench): this is tight. Who on earth put it on?
Me: Me. I'll just undo it now, shall I?
Him: Er. Well. Okay. Yes.

Chicken Run?

Work colleague has just reminded me of another one.

So as I said above I used to be a Nurse I now work in the private sector in a bit of a niche role.

The minimum you need for this role is either a Nursing qualification or a Degree, preferable in some form of health science, and 3 years experience either in Nursing/the industry.

I have a unisex name.

So I get asked to speak at a conference. At the time we had a sandwich work experience student in the office, 19-20 year old male, and didn’t look his age, I would have put him at 16. Hadn’t long started so not really not a lot for him to do but very enthusiastic.

So I offer to take him to the conference, bit of a jolly for him, and good networking experience.

We get there and we go to the reception to sign in and get name badges. I say the company we’re from and the organiser comes from round the desk to shake hands with student saying oh Mr FastAbsorbing, we’re so happy to have you here, I can't wait to hear you speak.

And starts trying to give him my name badge.

Student looks horrified, I jump in and say actually it Ms. FastAbsorbing, nice to meet you.

Organiser, goes oh but but, the name…

Oh fair enough someone knowing nothing of the industry etc, it was a 50/50 chance meeting both of us in another situation that the name could belong to either of us if you know what I mean.

But to see a very young male, who would have had to be in a child prodigy, to even be in the role being talked about, never mind being senior in it, and assuming that he was the expert rather than the older woman takes some mental gymnastics.

Not as bad as some of these but a few I've thought of:

-my DF complaining about how young girls dress and saying stuff like 'what do they expect when they dress like that' etc etc
-Being constantly asked if I'm going to get married or have children since the age of about 25
-FIL and DF have both made comments about women drivers I'm sure
-MIL saying 'oh I would never want girls' when discussing children
-I personally hate it when ppl suggest that all women are harridans and any man with a girlfriend or wife is having a terrible time and unable to see his friends, you know those kind of 'oh have you been let off the leash?' type comments REALLY drives me nuts.
-Also ppl always seem very concerned when I go anywhere without me DP and insinuate that he will be unable to cope in the house by himself without me there (because obv as he is a man he is clueless about cooking, cleaning, wiping his nose himself etc etc)

John Lewis took it upon themselves to change my name for me after I got married. I have never changed my name. Why would I? But all our wedding list stuff was addressed to Mr and Mrs DH's name, despite me setting up the account as Ms Me and Mr DH. So archaic! It didn't help that a lot of what we ordered was damaged, didn't arrive together and we had to make any returns instore. Not to be recommended!

Oooh I have another.
Dm constantly says "poor dh" if I go away with work/friends etc. Because he won't be able to cope.

Similarly she tells me off for not ironing his work shirts or taking his suits to the cleaners. I would but he likes to iron his own shirts and his work get a discount at said cleaners and they pick up and deliver.

The best one from her related to ongoing issues with mil. Dm says I should just put up with it (the verbal and emotional abuse and the fact she's trying to drive a wedge between dh and I) because "she's dhs mum and it's hurt him if you fell out" (no problem with me being hurt and upset though...)

Incidentally on that one dh is backing me up.

When I was injured and discharged from the army (blowing my whole career plan) at my leaving interview with the Brigadier he said "Don't worry, you're a pretty little thing some nice young man will come along and marry you"

I moved in with my then Bf, now DH into the rental property he was living in at the time. The landlords were a lovely old couple. I was introduced over biscuits and tea and was doing my best to make a good impression. After dealing with the contact, the matter of the cleaner was discussed (they paid for someone to come around once a week, because a man living on his own cannot be trusted to keep the place in good order). The landlord smiled at us and said 'of course now you don't need a cleaner any more'. We kept the cleaner and paid for her ourselves

Not sure what's happening with the enojis - that was meant to be a grin, not a biscuit.... is it just my phone that does this?

Just remembered a clanger.

I went to the Magistrates Court to swear out a police search warrant for an urgent job that day. Routine enough stuff on my role, meeting with the Magistrate and his Clerk in Chambers.

Anyway, Magistrate reads through and obviously feels the need to ask some questions. So far so normal.

Then says "I see there are children at the address. I assume you'll be taking a woman police constable to look after them?".

Cue me trying not to implode because I really need the warrant, whilst the Clerk looks mortified. I managed to muster "there's only me and I don't have children. Some of my male colleagues are fathers, I'm sure they're better suited".

I got the warrant signed, but thought a lot less of this Magistrate whenever I saw him in court. Very saddening.

It was in 2011.