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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask for your most appalling examples of sexism?

286 replies

Biscusting · 06/06/2017 20:38

I've learned over time and with bitter experience my dad is terribly sexist. Every time I see him he has something grim to say that erodes my soul and chips at my confidence.
I won't give examples of his crimes but his father -my grandfather- had several girls and my father was his only son. When my fathers siblings went on to have children of their own, they all had girls (7 in total). My grandparents said practically nothing, but then they rarely seemed to at significant events.
When my younger brother was born, my grandfather went to visit my mum in hospital. He had never visited after any of the births of his other grandchildren and presented my mum with a single red rose, then left. HmmConfused

Cheer me up with some of your tales.

OP posts:
Littlecaf · 09/06/2017 18:45

First time every getting the pill when I was 16. You know, taking responsibility for my contraception and all that.

Doctor (male) says "you might like to get your boyfriend to read the instructions to you. Wtf? He was for real too.

Spent years early on in my career playing second fiddle to whatever (50% male) colleagues on building sites. No, Mr Surveyor/Builder/Architect, I'm the one you need to convince this is acceptable, I'm the 'computer says no' person, speak to me!

Littlecaf · 09/06/2017 18:51

Actually I think a new member of my team is possibly sexist. He keeps commenting on my "part time mum hours" and smarming up to our manager with comments about going fishing and DIY. I try hard not to talk about kids in the office, so maybe he should shut up about how fecking manly he is doing his own loft conversion and how us 'mums' should think about their 'hubbies' doing all those extra hours at home trying to 'improve' the house with DIY projects.

Willow2017 · 09/06/2017 19:42

Littlecalf
Maybe ask him if there is a reason he feels he has to keep telling every one how manly he is at home? (And does he think anyone gives a fuck?) Your own oh doesn't need to bang on about it so you just wondered. 😉

DanyellasDonkey · 09/06/2017 19:54

Going to buy a car at a very well known dealership. Despite saying I was looking for a new car, the salesman spoke to XDH all the time. Eventually I just walked out.

Once won a pub quiz with an all-female team. A man from a losing team said that he couldn't understand how a team of women could have won as there were sport questions Shock

littlebillie · 09/06/2017 20:33

I keep getting sent job offers from a big big recruitment agency but for a lower role. I am not impressed as I have told them what role I have for the last 20 years and I am senior 😲

Puzzledandpissedoff · 09/06/2017 20:55

I've posted about this before, but I used to organise training days and once managed to persuade a woman who was very senior in our field to come along to deliver the course content

It really was a great opportunity for the attendees to discuss the job with someone at her level, so it was a bit of a surprise when one of the male candidates said quite forcefully that he considered it an affront to be instructed by a woman and demanded that she be replaced by someone with a penis a male trainer

urbanrock · 09/06/2017 21:53

I was working away a few years ago, staying in a hotel in a popular tourist town. I woke up one morning and my eye was massively swollen. I got an appointment at the local gp surgery with my address registered as the hotel. When I saw the (older, male) gp, first thing he said was 'I suppose you're here for the morning after pill'. Despite the fact that it was blatantly obvious I couldn't see out of my left eye. I was clearly young and female on holiday so must have been having unprotected one night stands.

urbanrock · 09/06/2017 22:02

And another one, I drive large vehicles, been doing it 20 years. I like to think I'm pretty good at it. But I still get other drivers offering to park my vehicle for me, as clearly a woman can't park large vehicles. I took the same test as them and they'd never offer if it was a man driving.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 09/06/2017 22:19

When I worked at a LA with councillors I was told by my boss to stop wearing dresses as the male councillors were making smutty comments about my legs and I had to be careful how I came across.

Apparently having legs is more offensive than making derogatory comments about a woman more ham half your age.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 09/06/2017 22:20

Oh and I'm sick to death of going to the gym and having infants mansplain to me how to use the weights. I'm in my 30s and was weight training when these twats we're still in school jumpers, but noooo they know best Angry

NotCitrus · 09/06/2017 23:13

When baby ds had his BCG jab, the NHS letter said in big letters that it had to be the mother who brought the baby to the clinic. Given I could hardly walk, it would have made sense for MrNC to go, but I went off.

So I asked the doc why on earth the mother had to be there with the baby. He had no idea and we wrote to the Trust.

Turned out they wanted to know the baby's weight at birth and how they were fed so someone had decided fathers and other relatives shouldn't be allowed to handle the appts. ..

3 years later I sent baby 2 with MrNC and they didn't complain.

MinesaBottle · 10/06/2017 00:07

Getting a mortgage, the advisor (female) told us she'd made my husband the primary borrower (normally this is the person with the highest income and best credit score). I earned more than him and he is from overseas so had a slightly lower credit score. And he's ten years older than me. Oh well.

choochooo · 10/06/2017 06:34

Landlord was putting new windows in our house with his father. The father says to me 'we'll need to explain how these windows work. Is your husband here?'

Because apparently opening and shutting windows is too complicated for a girl like me to understand. Confused

Kittymum03 · 10/06/2017 06:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GreenRut · 10/06/2017 06:48

Yesterday there was a presentation at an office I was visiting, congratulating certain people on getting a particular project done. The men were given bottles of fizz. The women were given bunches of flowers....

MamaHanji · 10/06/2017 06:49

Fauchevelant

My mum calls me little one. But I'm her baby and that is her term of endearment for me.

What a wanker. Being called little one at work is so patronising and sexist.

Amazed you haven't kicked him in the shin like a little ones sometimes do

Kittymum03 · 10/06/2017 06:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

userinterface34 · 10/06/2017 08:42

Went to Audi to buy a new car. Went with my husband and son (17) and my brother came because he was thinking of getting a new car so we thought we might get a good deal buying two.

Explained to the older sales guy it was for me wanted an A4 estate preferably s line engine size etc... he starts talking to my husband... who tells him the car is for me. Disregards me continues talking to dh about the car goes off to get the book about it. Comes back and again talks to dh who looks at me and says do you want to test drive. I say no I'd like to know costs etc because I've had that car before love it and that's why I'm here... carries on talking to dh opened up the colour spec page turns to me and says this is the bit that's important to you! To which I replied yes I guess it must be thank you for pointing it out... is it jaguar that does British racing green as that really would be my ideal colour, turned on my heels and left. Dh had to follow.

Not wanting to cut my nose if because of one idiot after 4 months I went back to see a different sales guy. Bought the car waited for the delivery and the idiot had ordered the wrong colour!!! It was just so ironic that they then asked if the colour was that important to me that the dealer would need to buy and pay for another car! Err yes!

MuncheysMummy · 10/06/2017 08:50

Well as a 5'4 woman with her LGV license I have heard my share I can tell you. Men can't seem to understand that I can be the one driving a 10 tonne 36 foot long horsebox lorry,you can well imagine the comments I get when taking it in for MOT at the special LGV centre staffed entirely by blokes except of course for the 'girls on reception'!

TiggyMP · 10/06/2017 10:05

As a man...

...I've had people take their children out of the nursery I worked in, people asked for me not to be their child's key worker as "I couldn't care for a child as well as a woman", as well as having to put up with the 'men in childcare=paedophile' crap.

winobaglady · 10/06/2017 10:07

As a female motorbiker I'm so used to this.
What, you ride that big bike? Incredulous looks when I explain that's no, this is my bike and my husband is pillion ( though he has a bike too).
Over the years bike shops are better, 10 years ago they would pretty much disregard me and direct conversation about MY new bike to him. He'd listen to the question, turn to me and repeat it, then turn to salesman and repeat the answer. They usually got the hint!

ememem84 · 10/06/2017 10:12

tiggy that's awful. I personally don't care who ends up looking after ds when we pop him into nursery (after mat leave is finished in march 😩) male female dog whatever. As long as they are properly experienced and qualified and look after him and he enjoys being there.

I've said it before and I'll say it again no doubt. People are weird.

Dh was asked to move on a flight once because he was sat next to a woman and her young daughter. Apparently the woman felt uncomfortable with him being there. Reading his book. Napping.

I guess she was one of the "men = peado" people.

There was a huge fuss on our local fb page the other day. New park just opened here so lots of parents with kids there on sunny days etc. A woman posts to say to watch out for the Paedo with the camera lurking in the park. Paedo supposedly has a tripod camera. She's taken pictures and has reported to police. On local gov Facebook page there's a thing about the road next to the park being closed temporarily so surveyors can do their thing. You know with the equipment that looks like a camera (is it a camera? Or a laser or something) on tripods.... classic case of misinformation. According to the woman men shouldn't be around kids. With cameras.

Sigh.

ADuckNamedSplash · 10/06/2017 18:38

DH and I were sat with two other couples for a meal. None of the couples knew each other, so we talked about how we’d met our partners and what we did for a living. DH and I said that we’d met studying for a computing degree and we now we both worked in IT. One of the other men at the table replied that he also worked in IT. The third man then said, “Ah, great - I have a technology question and since we have two experts here…” - looking past me at my husband and the other man Hmm

Racmactac · 10/06/2017 19:37

Aduck has just reminded me of something else.
Went out for dinner with exdhs friend and the waiter came to take order. I ordered for me and exdh.
The other guy got really stroppy and his wife told me that it was his job to order food because he was the man Hmm

The same knob also spent the night telling that when he got arrested for football violence he was given a duty solicitor and she was female and he wasn't happy about it. She told him tough her or no one, he then told me that he couldn't believe that she was actually quite good at her job.
Knob

ZivaDiva · 10/06/2017 20:29

When I'm working with a man who is less qualified than me, patients will almost always address answers to the man even when I am asking the questions. Even more annoying when the man answers them and gives them the wrong information.

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