AIBU to ask for your most appalling examples of sexism?

[Biscusting]

I've learned over time and with bitter experience my dad is terribly sexist. Every time I see him he has something grim to say that erodes my soul and chips at my confidence.
I won't give examples of his crimes but his father -my grandfather- had several girls and my father was his only son. When my fathers siblings went on to have children of their own, they all had girls (7 in total). My grandparents said practically nothing, but then they rarely seemed to at significant events.
When my younger brother was born, my grandfather went to visit my mum in hospital. He had never visited after any of the births of his other grandchildren and presented my mum with a single red rose, then left.

Cheer me up with some of your tales.

It's just everyday stuff that riles me.

At uni :'Oh, what does your dad do?'

My mum has the big job, actually you fuck wit

I had a job in local government in 1987. An unmarried lady was pregnant. My boss told her she had to leave the job as she wouldn't be able to commute and work with a baby. She did leave.

I was once asked in a very senior interview if I danced round my handbag and wore white shoes - I'm originally from Essex!!

Have just remembered this... At 6th form (private school). All the 'girls' (not the boys) were forced to attend a session hosted by a British airways cabin crew (female) on 'grooming' which was allegedly about 'presentation' but involved key tips on make up and nails😞. I was the scholarship kid, so already culturally at odds with some of the arcane private school bollocks. But I was absolutely fucking furious, complained loudly and pointed out how ridiculously sexist it was. Headmaster was a sexist prick and I was ignored.
Oddly I seem to have been very successful without having to file my nails....

Traditionally law and solicitors are sexist but I must say my firm is enlightened. They recently employed solicitor who at interview told them she was shortly getting married and would be having babies fairly quickly.

We also had photos done for website and we were asked for some of us to sit at table and somebody to look like they were handing notes over. Boss says I'll hand them notes we don't want people thinking the woman are secretaries.

At work we need a few sports 'experts' when I discovered all said experts were male I kicked up such a fuss that I am now one too.

Actually my love of sport has always raised a few eyebrows which is just ridiculous, like the time I was with my Dad and someone asked what he thought about whichever football tournament was going on at the time and he said 'no idea, ask my daughter' and just the other week a guy on the tube was laughing because of the in depth description I was giving a male friend about how the Premier League season finished. He did explain that it was because his gf hated football and he was a bit surprised to find a woman who likes it.

I've told this story before but I'll tell it again... despite working in a female-heavy career, people always assume there is a 'man in charge' leading to phone calls like this... (names changed obv)
Complaining Customer "I want to speak to your boss"
Me "that would be Sally Brown, the Librarian in charge"
CC "no, I want her boss"
Me "well her boss is Elizabeth Green, the library manager "
Cc "no, I want to speak to the overall man in charge of you lot "
Me "of course, that would be Julia Black..."
Cc "oh, for fucks sake!"

I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy that, and I really tried to keep the laughter out of my voice...

ebear- wow. Now that is quite something.

Nah, I mentioned it in a list of other sexist incidents, some of them minor, some of them less so, to try and point out the cumulative effect. He said I'm just being over-sensitive and there is no sexism. So it can't be anything.

(I should be praised for succeeding in not telling him to fuck off every day, but I just get told to smile more.)

In yr 1, DD's teacher asked them all what they wanted to do when they grew up. DD loved building things, so she said 'a builder'. Teacher said, 'girls can't be builders, pick something else'. (DD will be starting her MEng this autumn )

When we signed the lease on our house, our landlady very carefully went through the instructions for the boiler and the alarm with DP before turning to me and explaining how to use the washing machine.

Miaow - you have reminded me of our wonderful geography teacher.

All girls private school, teacher a single woman, (near retirement age, tweed skirts and Cambridge degree). She made it her job to teach every single second year sixth form girl how to change a puncture.

She took us on groups for 4-5 to her car and taught us how to do it. She did preface it with a very tongue in cheek
"now I know some of you are thinking that you will just flag down the nearest man to do it for you, but you might actually find yourself in the position of needing to do it yourself, and how silly would it be to be stuck, just because you didn't know how"

Checking myself and DH into fabulous Cathay Pacific lounge at Hong Kong airport. I have the 'gold' frequent flyer status with this particular set of airlines but DH doesn't. Lady behind the counter couldn't get her head around that I was the one signing in my husband as a guest and kept referring back to DH saying he wasn't accredited. DH (kept) politely reminding her that he was to be my guest, she just looked .

I also live in the Middle East and could tell you some shockers, but I'm learning to rise above it and kill with kindness. which just leaves people more confused

I was at a conference on the company exhibition booth. Guy comes up 'I've got some questions about '.
Me: 'I can help you with that, what would you like to know'
Guy: 'Well, its about but I need to speak to an expert'
Me 'Yes, I can answer that, is it specific, or do you want a general explanation'
Guy: 'Well its very specific, I really need to speak to someone, can you find me the expert'

After a few more rounds of this, a customer who I'd worked with on the project which introduced this thing, and who is my co-author on some papers came over when he could stop laughing and greeted me and guy and told him 'hey, you are totally speaking to the right person here, did you know CMOT is the leader on this'. He didn't even look embarrassed.

Lots of other ones - a colleague told me he 'wouldn't like it if his wife travelled like I did', getting ignored by airline staff when I had a gold status but men with same status were being greeted, always asked who is looking after my son when I'm away (no one ever asks DH), work had an email list for girls and we'd get asked to cover reception...

We had a male cleaner at work who was pretty rubbish and going through competency. One of the women who worked there said it wasn't his fault because "men don't see dirt like women do"

I've also had a salesman for a credit card talk entirely to (male) XDP even when he said he had no interest, throughout me signing the forms, to the point of telling him when and where the paperwork would be delivered. We didn't even live together...

I took our car for a service and told the mechanic that it didn't need an oil change as DH had taken it for one the previous month. He didn't believe and asked whether he'd should 'just give your husband a little ring?' I just looked at him quizzically and said 'what for?' the best bit was when we when out to the car so he could move it. It's a push button ignition but he was trying to put the key in it and couldn't work out why it wouldn't go it. Snigger. I explained slowly that you just need to push the button. Was tempted to ask if he needed me to give his wife a little ring. What a dick.

Our neighbour knocked on our door a few nights ago. I answered.
N: Hiya love, is your husband home?
I pointed to him on the living room floor where he was playing with dd.
N: Hi mate, just wondered if you had some jump leads? The wife's car won't start.
Dh: winky have we got any jump leads?
I trundle off to the cellar to retrieve them and hand them to neighbour.
N: (to dh) could you give me a hand with your car?
Dh goes off.
2 minutes later dh reappears.

"Winks, how do we use the jump leads?"

Where to start?

1. I had to wash up after dinner each evening. I asked my mother why my older brother couldn't do it for a change, she replied ' because he's a boy' .
2. Getting asked by a male interviewer if my husband minded me working night shift.
3. Looking at a potential new car in a garage showroom, the sales man came over and immediately began speaking to my husband, my husband told him that it was me who was looking for a car and to speak to me. The sales man looked at me and said ' oh, something small for the school run, in a sexy red'

He was told in no uncertain terms where to shove it.

1. My friends dad who owns and runs his own business refuses completely to employ women under the age of 50, because 'they're a pain in the arse with periods, pregnancy and maternity leave', and thinks women who have kids should be at home with them unless they're out doing a bit of cleaning for pocket money!

I was on a Mayfair type night in London that I organised through a promoter for a uni society I'm part of. As you can imagine we're very all very dolled up etc.

We turn up to the club and I find our promoter and we exchange pleasantries. He asks me what course I'm studying and when I told him he exclaimed: 'Wow! You don't look intelligent!'

I'm sure it was sexism as he couldn't imagine an attractive young woman having brains but come to think of it maybe it was racism (I'm black)

Our Deputy Head at school used to wear Playboy socks. Fucking Playboy socks!

This was mid 90's.

toffee
That is depressing. The worse of it is that no one challenged him. Makes me realise I've been very privileged in my workplaces, and even at school the pupils would have challenged that.

This is by no means the worst on here but it happened the other day and I was shocked and want to vent about it.

We went to a trade type place, me, DH and 18 mo DS to look at kitchen tiles. I have chosen everything to do with the kitchen, looked at everything and used my card to pay for everything. DH isn't really interested, but he will offer his opinion if I can't decide between two things, so came along. The plan was for me to look at and chose tiles and for him to look after DS

I walked into the showroom, DH and DS a few feet behind as DS was walking. about 3 men behind counter, they noticed me walk in but didn't look up. I walked past them to the tiles, they don't look at or acknowledge me at all. DH walked in and past them

'Hello mate! You alright? Just give us a shout if you need anything'

He walked back out with DS so he could entertain him by letting him wander about outside.

I am looking at the tiles so it should be obvious I am the customer.

Walk up to the counter to try to order my chosen tiles. All men seem to be busying themselves about the back and around although it's obvious I am standing waiting for them. By this time DH comes back in so I point to which tiles I want. He joins me at the counter. All men simultaneously are now available and come to see us. One asks DH which tiles he wants, I tell him. He seems slightly annoyed and tells us they are special order only and he will have to call them and ring us in a few days time.

Man- talking to DH - 'so mate, an I just take your name?'
Me - 'it's Paradise Laundry'
Man- talking to DH - 'and your number? Will you be at work? I xZn leave a message'
Me 'my no is 077....'

They did call in a few days and left me a voicemail 'Hi Mr Laundry, it's Sexist Man from Tile Shop we spoke a few days ago'

We found the same tiles online, cheaper and are buying there instead. I feel 0% guilty about this.

Double glazed window company, Dunraven South Wales. "Will your husband be there?" Me "no, I don't have a husband only a partner. It's my house, my money and my decision."

I tore them off a strip about asking that question as it was not only sexist but potentially upsetting. I had new windows elsewhere with a company who didn't ask stupid questions.

That is ridiculous Paradise. It's the ones where people continue with it when it's pointed out to them that are maddening and just plain fucking stupid.

My dd has short hair, wears mens clothes, wears boxer shorts, uses guys deoderant, loves playing football with the lads etc.

Que horrific bullying at school, people asking her in the streets if she is transgender, homophobic notes through our door, my parents nagging her to 'sort herself out', being told by school that girls shouldn't want to be doctors or play rugby or have short hair etc, being pulled aside by welfare officers asking her is she's 'having trouble with her gender identity'

Needless to say my dd is sick of it, but couldn't give a shit what people think of her anyway