AIBU to ask for your most appalling examples of sexism?

[Biscusting]

I've learned over time and with bitter experience my dad is terribly sexist. Every time I see him he has something grim to say that erodes my soul and chips at my confidence.
I won't give examples of his crimes but his father -my grandfather- had several girls and my father was his only son. When my fathers siblings went on to have children of their own, they all had girls (7 in total). My grandparents said practically nothing, but then they rarely seemed to at significant events.
When my younger brother was born, my grandfather went to visit my mum in hospital. He had never visited after any of the births of his other grandchildren and presented my mum with a single red rose, then left.

Cheer me up with some of your tales.

Not a specific story, but just the general concept that any successful woman has 'slept her way to the top'. Heard it quite a few times about different women, and sadly , often said by other women.

Interviewer this week who had discovered I have a 6m old DD. "Well, I'm sure you have much more exciting things going on at home than this job would be." Erm...fuck off! I'm at the interview because I'm interested in the job.

And it was a woman.

Dh's Grandfather was a total cunt sexist pig, we went away on a boat together and I was not allowed to steer or even stand by the engine (with DH), my place was to stay away from them but provide cups of tea on demand

At a car showroom recently with OH.

I told salesman I was looking for x, for me, wanted this spec, what I use it for etc...

Smarmy salesman turns straight to OH, leads him by the shoulder to a different car! I was looking at a £20k Volvo ffs!

He did not get a sale, needless to say.

By no means the worst but one I remember recently.

Every time we go to buy a new car they address dh and every time he has to say, ask her, I can't drive a car I ride a motorbike.

Dh had a right go at the double glazing salesman who wouldn't come round when it was just me. The house was in my name only at the time

Estate agent last week came up with a few gems. For clarity I'm 6m pregnant (or thereabouts).

"In your condition you obviously don't understand the market"

"I really should talk to your dh as he'll be making all the financial decisions"

I swear it's a miracle he didn't get his bollocks ripped off. In my condition though I shouldn't exert myself

When I was a student the estate agent came to renew contract for our rented house - four of us, all women. He ranted at us about the state of the house (which was as disgusting as you'd expect from students). Quite bullying actually, clearly enjoying his moment of power over four young women.

Said "if my wife kept the oven like that I wouldn't stay with her". What a fucking twat.

Estate agent I was dealing with regarding our business move replied to every single email I wrote with Dear DH's Firstname.

I was absolutely fucking fuming. He was a cunt of the highest order in other ways and so we didn't go ahead with the property.

One job I worked in I went in for a meeting with my line manager and his manager. They were watching porn on his laptop.

Same manager arranged a meeting in London, which attended. Sandwiches and drinks were laid on and I made a joke about who would clear it away and was told I was a "woman" and that's why I'd been invited to the meeting. I think half in jest and half in not.

A bit outing but...
I am a fully qualified Funeral Director, working over a decade in the industry...in my own funeral home, I usually get asked, "Can we speak to the Funeral Director?"... erm, that's me..." Oh, Didn't realise you could sort things out" , then repeat "Will we see the funeral Director after this?"I work with my siblings and it is always my brother that is assumed to be the Funeral Director/embalmer.

I have been told outright that the preference is for DBro to walk in front of the hearse.
Assumptions that myself or sister can not lift/carry anything heavy.
I understand it is a predominately 'male industry' but some of the comments/attitudes are very outdated.

My dad is a sexist arsehole

I can't go in to half of what he does as it's really triggering. One thing that comes to mind though is referring to adult women as 'girlies', e.g. "I went to the doctor and spoke to the girly on reception..."

I get the rage whenever (it still happens!) my bank ring our landline.
They always ask to speak to my husband. Why, I ask? Because we need to speak to him about your account, they say.
I tell them every time it is s joint account, but was originally mine for 20 plus years and as it's only money from me that goes into it ..and that they can speak to me.
No, we need to speak to your husband.
But it is my account and I added him onto the account. Why can't you speak to me?
They can never really answer this and mumble about speaking to the account holder and data protection... .
I tell them it is the 21st century and it is about time the bank realised this. I tell them if they refuse to speak to me the conversation is over.

Gives me the rage too, when they send all the marketing stuff and account info addressed only to him. God knows what they'll do when H and I separate and the account gets closed - its a wonder and solo women are able to be financially independent when there are dinosaurs like this round!

I still hear the phrase "lady doctor" more than I'd like.

My ex had a cousin whose teen daughter wanted to be an architect but he didn't see the point in women doing long degrees becatse they only end up having kids.

My Ex-DSS/ExDP - every Sunday I cooked Sunday lunch because it was expected. As a pudding I generally had something a bit stodgy like apple pie or crumble or similar. DSS had to have his pudding weighed to ensure he was getting the largest portion (I kid you not). He was 6 when it started. He was 11 when I finally came to my senses and left that house.

When I got married I was 25 and had been living independently, earning my own money, for several years - much longer than either my older or my younger brother, my then-husband, or indeed my dad at the age he'd been married. My dad told me confidently that women aren't adults until they are married. It is different for men, of course.

I have not dared to ask him if I've reverted to childhood in my divorced state, or whether 35-year-old never-married lesbian DP and I will mutually adultify each other, should we choose to marry.

My tutor at university used to refer to men as students, and women as 'pretty things'. As in 'I have a class of six students, and four pretty things'.

A truly horrible man I worked with until recently speculated that FGM was awful, but would be less awful if it were carried out in proper clinical conditions under anaesthetic. As the risk of death is the crucial thing. He didn't understand there was any risk to women's future health, and he thought that making it impossible for women to orgasm was simply not a very big deal.

I'm pregnant and best friends husband is older and very old fashioned and sexist. He has said the minute baby is born I won't care any more about my career and implied I won't be able to do a job as my head will be filled with children thoughts. He, and other men, of course are able to do this and be fathers and hold down jobs.

Best friend, his wife, lets him put her in little woman role and is SAHM. She doesn't watch TV all day as needs him to work TV and digi box combo. They also bought a fancy coffee machine as she missed daily latte since giving up work but it's too complicated for her and she only gets nice coffee on weekends when he makes it for her.

On a more common note...

I've lost count how many times - often as the most senior person in the room - counterparts in other companies (and occasionally internally) assume I'm at a meeting to take the notes.

Equally, when corrected, they insist in answering my questions by making eye contact with a male member of the team or, in turn, asking key questions to them - even when my team politely say "I have to defer that question to Darth as she is the senior representative in this negotiation".

Tbh I just have a very weary attitude towards it now and it's not just a phenomenon of the over 40's male - I've been asked to "get the coffee love, or the boss will think you're slacking" by someone in their late 20's.

Needless to say my answer was "I doubt it, though to be fair, I'm not your boss. I'm your boss's, boss's boss's, boss"I perhaps should not have enjoyed seeing his face crumple as much as I did.

I went to pick up a courtesy car last week and the man was very apologetic that "we only have a manual available".

He then entered my car's reg plate as my postcode and queried why it didn't match my driving licence.

We then went to check the car over and he was very insistent that, as a brand new motor, I should keep away from kerbs and any scratches would cost at least £150 each to fix. He finished off by offering to reverse out onto the road for me. In a Citroen C1!

Asked my 5 year old DD if she'd like to stay up to watch the Champions League final with me on Saturday night. DW tutted and said "I knew you just wanted a boy."

I had a job in a 5 star hotel and on a late shift the General Manager of the hotel told me that I didn't get the job because I was good at it but probably because I was pretty with nice eyes

Another one I started a new job and was in a meeting with all men and even though I was of equal standing when it came for a break they all passed me a piece of paper with their coffee orders on. I passed it back to them!

When I was newly qualified as a Solicitor in Court the District Judge asked defendant representative her name she said Mrs x and he said oh not qualified then....always stayed with me (qualified barristers/solicitors usually stay as Miss)

I'm 32 and a solicitor and I still get the comments about taking the meeting notes or fetching the coffee. The world clearly has not moved on much. A couple of years ago in a handover meeting a male partner referred to another partner's maternity leave as her "baby holiday". How she didn't strangle him then and there.....and no, he wasn't joking.

I'd like to think my Dad is a reformed sexist. He told me at 17 that I should go to university and not let any boyfriend stand in my way as he regretted his part in my Mum not continuing her education (there were other reasons too but he clearly didn't help). He's never been sexist in my earshot that I can recall.

I do remember with my ex, family holiday, the expectation that the women (his nan, mum, sister and I) would be making the lunches and fetching the drinks to the men. Fuck that. I made mine and called through that there was bread etc if he was hungry just to make a point. His Dad was a sexist pig though, despite his Mum having a great career, and expected to be waited on.

I've just bought a roof box for my car, I had to leave my car at Halfords for a couple of hours on Sunday morning for it to be fitted. Got the call to go pick car up so off DP and I go as he has to drive me down, go find the guy who was dealing with my car and out we go so he can show me how it all works, DP is standing by my car as it'll be useful for him to know as well, I introduce Halfords guy to my DP and from there on Halfords guy does not make eye contact with me or speak to me once, I ask stupid questions in a 'hello, talk to ME about MY car' kind of way buy he still maintained eye contact with DP only and directs answers towards him.

I've heard of shit like this happening to woman when they are with a male DP but that is the first time it has happened to me, seriously it was like I was completely invisible, not one bit of eye contact with me.

A woman from the local Career's Service came to the school I attended when I was in sixth form to talk to us about our future careers. I was told 'Oh don't study engineering, no company will employ a female engineer'. This was in 1981. My father was with me during the interview and after we left gave his concise assessment of her advice in two words 'Stupid cow'.

When I was working a senior manager told my colleague that 'Mysterious needs to come and work for me so she can sit on my lap and make me feel good'. I put in for a transfer. Even if he'd looked like Adonis that would have been nauseating. Given he looked like a cross between Mr. Incredible and a blimp just put the tin hat on it.

I Won an amazing work award, in a male dominated industry, I got to collect the prize in Hawaii, my husband was invited to attend too. It was a 5 night holiday. First night "welcome dinner" our US CEO hosting, leaned across me, shook my husbands hand, congratulated him and asked him what he did to make it to presidents club. Without missing a beat DH said "married her". Bless him. He had the good grace to blush and moved on quick. But FFS. I know they prepared a deck on 'winners' with picks for him and the rest of the board so they could see who we were!