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Original poster

AIBU to ask for your most appalling examples of sexism?

286 replies

Biscusting · 06/06/2017 20:38

I've learned over time and with bitter experience my dad is terribly sexist. Every time I see him he has something grim to say that erodes my soul and chips at my confidence.
I won't give examples of his crimes but his father -my grandfather- had several girls and my father was his only son. When my fathers siblings went on to have children of their own, they all had girls (7 in total). My grandparents said practically nothing, but then they rarely seemed to at significant events.
When my younger brother was born, my grandfather went to visit my mum in hospital. He had never visited after any of the births of his other grandchildren and presented my mum with a single red rose, then left. HmmConfused

Cheer me up with some of your tales.

OP posts:
GinSwigmore · 06/06/2017 23:56

Jezebel did a fairly funny pisstake of a recent Wonder Woman review which was deemed to be overly focused on Gal Gadot's physical appearance (the reviewer in question did defend themselves in a second article but the Jezebel satire nonetheless made me chuckle.
That said, I love puns so the original reviewer's ''It was worth waiting for Gadot'' was so puntastic it enabled me to overlook the rest of the review)

Original review here:
www.vulture.com/2017/06/movie-review-wonder-woman-is-a-star-turn-for-gal-gadot.html
Pisstake here:
jezebel.com/wonder-woman-review-gal-gadot-did-not-give-me-a-hard-e-1795756497

TheMysteriousJackelope · 07/06/2017 00:00

If I can add some other people's stories:

I went on the March for Women in a small town in Alabama. The women who took part in the march shared some of their stories behind why they were marching at a rally afterwards.

One lady had three children under the age of four and didn't want a fourth. She went to the doctor to find out about sterilization. She was told that it was illegal for her to be sterilized without her DH's permission. She told the doctor her DH was waiting in the car outside, took the form out, forged his signature and took it back into the office.

Another woman was in the army and was sexually assaulted. A pilot from another division was assigned to handle the investigation. He told her that as a woman she had no place being in the army and had to expect things like sexual assault to happen if she chose to be there. This was in the late 80's.

Another woman used to work on the floor of the Alabama legislature. She was regularly groped and felt up by the male politicians. The floor was televised too, but obviously this behavior was considered quite acceptable as when she exclaimed about them looking bad on TV it didn't phase them one bit.

An acquaintance used to fly Black Hawk helicopters for the army. During training she had to take the trainer up in a helicopter for the first time. He said 'I've never been flown by a woman before' while looking apprehensive. She replied 'Don't worry sergeant, the helicopter doesn't know I'm a woman'.

DramaAlpaca · 07/06/2017 00:21

I had a very similar experience to RitaMills in Halfords many years ago so it seems they haven't changed.

I was there with my then boyfriend, and asked the sales assistant about something to do with my car. The sales assistant wouldn't make eye contact with me at all, and every time I asked a question he replied directly to my boyfriend. It was my car, the boyfriend knew nothing about cars & didn't drive so hadn't a clue.

I did call the sales person out on it & made clear it was my car, but it made no difference. It was just so rude and disrespectful.

EBearhug · 07/06/2017 00:26

I think my worst one currently remains, "you can think logically because you don't have enough female hormones," from a colleague 5 years ago. I was very premenstrual at the time, and I can think logically because women are perfectly capable of doing do, even with a full load of oestrogen and progesterone and so on.

Pallisers · 07/06/2017 00:30

I am a lawyer but moved out of law eventually into a large company. Eventually ended up working directly for the CEO on special programs. If I were a man this would be seen as a great position. As I was a woman there was a real danger of being treated like an extra admin assistant by the mainly male senior leadership team.

After my appointment, at our first meeting with each senior leader in CEO's office, we would sit down at the table, CEO would stand up and say "anyone want a coffee, Pallisers what can I get you" and go out to the coffee station outside his office, get him and me a coffee and sit down. First time I was a bit puzzled but then I realised that he was making it quite clear to the dinosaurs (and for what it is worth, he was far more likely to ask his admin assistant's advice on who to promote than asking her to get him coffee)

Some of these are horrifying/almost funny but this one ...

My ex FIL doesn't "believe in dishwashers, women don't need them". They live in a furnished apartment with a dishwasher. It's never been used in all the time they've lived there. My ex MIL said her life wouldn't be worth living if she used it.

I'm trying to imagine living a life in which you can't use a dishwasher simply because another petulant adult says you can't. And what must it be like to live inside that petulant adult's head. People do live lives of quiet desperation.

delilah245 · 07/06/2017 00:32

My family are terribly religious and sexist. I have been told many times that "you just need to do what your husband tells you to do". Wives are supposed to blindly submit to their husbands (even when their husbands are being total cunts). The men are not really expected to clean or do much about child care, because of course that is the women's job. Don't even get me started, I could go on and on with sexist stories. This is my life....

indigox · 07/06/2017 00:37

Holding pitches for a multi-million pound contract at work, the panel consisted of 3 guys and myself. I was the lead decision maker, point of contact and it was clear I was project managing the work. 2 of the guys in the panel were from our finance and legal teams so completely unrelated to the contract and had no real idea into the technical aspects of the pitches. Throughout all the pitches all but one directed the entire pitch and conversation towards the guys, even when I was asking questions, they were replying to the guys, if they had questions they were asking the guys. I may as well have not been there.

I was interviewing for a new position recently, I had 5 interviews in total, all of which asked if I was sure I wanted full time work, and wouldn't I prefer part time? Despite the fact all positions were advertised as full time.

DarthMaiden · 07/06/2017 00:37

TheM - "An acquaintance used to fly Black Hawk helicopters for the army. During training she had to take the trainer up in a helicopter for the first time. He said 'I've never been flown by a woman before' while looking apprehensive. She replied 'Don't worry sergeant, the helicopter doesn't know I'm a woman'."

What a top class riposte!!! Worthy of Pom poms!

humblesims · 07/06/2017 00:38

My father in law wont go to the library anymore because too many of the books are written by women. Confused

Garlicansapphire · 07/06/2017 00:39

Sorry - can someone explain the first biscuit and what it means.

I was feeling a bit meh about more sexism stories. But my friend's Dad starts, unasked, to 'wave in' and direct any 'lady' drivers parking their cars he sees as he walks around the area. One day one of the women just lent out of the window and said 'just fuck right off grandpa.'

Needanewaura · 07/06/2017 00:40

My father always used to say whenever it was announced that a couple were getting married, 'poor chap'. Because of course every woman is a harridan, who is going to make her husband's life a misery. In his speech at my wedding, he thanked my husband for 'taking me on' as he thought it might never happen! I was a mature woman with my own job and flat in my 30s by this stage, so thanks dad, but I didn't really need to be handed over to another bloke to look after me.

Pallisers · 07/06/2017 00:41

My father in law wont go to the library anymore because too many of the books are written by women. confused

Oh my god.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 07/06/2017 00:48

Grin I slightly adore the FIL being menaced by a library full of women's books.

Those evil women, taking over the novel, that men slaved so hard to invent ...

ebear - wow. Now that is quite something.

QueenofEsgaroth · 07/06/2017 00:48

Recently travelling through Dubai, I use Miss and am a single parent. Hotel had all bookings in the name of my 4yo ds and were reluctant to do otherwise, I gave up arguing it for laughing!

AntiopeofThemyscira · 07/06/2017 00:51

One day one of the women just lent out of the window and said 'just fuck right off grandpa.'

Proper Grin

Italiangreyhound · 07/06/2017 00:56

OP "Every time I see him he has something grim to say that erodes my soul and chips at my confidence. "

Why don't you address this and either go no contact or low contact with him?

I won't tell you want I think is sexist, it is just too grim!

saoirse31 · 07/06/2017 01:01

Rate, Irish news , state TV, tonight. George and Amal had twins today I think . described as ' a little girl and a bouncing baby boy'... Wtaf?

Pallisers · 07/06/2017 01:04

Sorry - can someone explain the first biscuit and what it means.

I think the poster explained that she didn't like people posting things that complained about life or other people or something. Reminded me a bit of my dad when he would walk in on my and my sister or my mother or some combination having an argument and he'd say "will we talk about the weather". We'd be united in shouting him down - why the fuck would we talk about the weather when we could argue about something worth arguing about. She might have been on the wrong site.

I'm thinking the FIL threatened by the books written by women was onto something though - he knows where power lies.

When we got green cards to the US, both at the embassy and the point of entry I was strongly encouraged to change my name to my husbands. We both looked blankly at them (the guy in the embassy said "she has a better job offer than you and she won't take your name?" and DH said "isn't it great?" other than that I've found the US less casually sexist but that is purely anecdotal.

Pallisers · 07/06/2017 01:04

Rate, Irish news , state TV, tonight. George and Amal had twins today I think . described as ' a little girl and a bouncing baby boy'... Wtaf?

God that does my head in

saoirse31 · 07/06/2017 01:08

Rte, radio teilifís eireann, state broadcasting company, not rate..

DarthMaiden · 07/06/2017 01:29

pall - it's just insidious isn't it.

Bouncing baby boy? Wtf does that mean anyway?

I'm so bloody glad to be an only child born of parents who both wanted a girl.

My DF always said the only boundaries were ones I wasn't prepared to push though and prove wrong.

It doesn't always work that way but he definitely forged a personality that didn't take any sexist crap - my love of cars is a shared passion.

LorelaiLeighGilmore · 07/06/2017 01:37

My male manager once told me that I should come to work in 2 inch heels as no one would respect me due to my height otherwise. He also would stipulate that female managers wore skirts.

This was 4 years ago. And we had to call him "Mr" chauvinist. When I asked if I could be "Mrs", I was told no - that's not traditional in the workplace.

Mind boggles.

toffeeboffin · 07/06/2017 01:37

Went to get the contraceptive pill.

Asked loads of questions, am I married being one of them.

Young doctor asked me if my husband knew I was there to get the pill ShockHmm

toffeeboffin · 07/06/2017 01:40

Just the other day I was walking down a quiet suburban country lane.

Guy in a car stops. Tells me that I shouldn't be walking on that side, I should be on the other side.

If I'd have been a guy would he have stopped? Would he feck.

FairyDogMother11 · 07/06/2017 01:43

"Are your parents in, love?" "Erm no, it's my house..." "Oh! What about your partner?" - I'm a bloody 23 year old woman with a job and a mortgage, I'm fairly sure I can decide whether I want new windows or not Angry

And at work: "That's heavy, are you sure you can lift that Fairy?" I should hope so, I'm a woman, I'm not ill. It'd be fair enough if I ever asked for help lifting things but I don't.

There are probably loads of others because I work in a pub but I can't think of any right now Blush