AIBU to ask for your most appalling examples of sexism?

[Biscusting]

I've learned over time and with bitter experience my dad is terribly sexist. Every time I see him he has something grim to say that erodes my soul and chips at my confidence.
I won't give examples of his crimes but his father -my grandfather- had several girls and my father was his only son. When my fathers siblings went on to have children of their own, they all had girls (7 in total). My grandparents said practically nothing, but then they rarely seemed to at significant events.
When my younger brother was born, my grandfather went to visit my mum in hospital. He had never visited after any of the births of his other grandchildren and presented my mum with a single red rose, then left.

Cheer me up with some of your tales.

When setting up a wedding list in Debenhams the sales person ( woman in 50s) asked for the name and address to send all the gifts to after the wedding. When I replied " Ms wildbhoysamma surname and Mr exDH surname etc" she laughed and said " No after the wedding! Mr and Mrs DH Surname". When I clarified that indeed, no, it would be as previously stated as I was keeping my own name, she blinked, clearly shocked and said
" Don't be ridiculous".
I'm a teacher ( secondary) and the pupils were chatting at the end of term, the girls were asking what my new name would be after getting married. I replied " Ms my ownsurname". One piped up " That's pure amazing that u found a man with the same surname!". When I corrected her that I was keeping my own name she stated it was "Illegal! I'm gonna ask my ma". The next day she waltzed in to tell the other girls her ma had reported it wasn't illegal but was " ...pure weird and her man must be in some sort of trouble!".
Women fuelling friendly sexism. Pah!
Oh and I was also asked by some visiting, Turkish, male teachers if my father and brothers allowed me to go out in town "without a chaperone". The conversation which followed where I informed them that I had recently moved in with my boyfriend and neither my father or brothers has any issue with it put paid to any more ' friendly' chat.

Don't know why all paragraphing has been omitted once posted? Sorry.

The surname issue is absolutely ridiculous wildbhoysmama. It makes me want to get married just to put people right who think women should change their surnames when marrying. It's also quite a shame the girls at the school you taught at not only assumed you'd change your surname upon marriage but even thought women have to.

wild, I've been assured by a high street bank that it is 'illegal' for a married woman not to change her name. I can understand a group of school children thinking so, given that!

Yes, nolove, it is a real shame. That was 15 years ago and I hope things have improved. I certainly have made it a personal mission to bang on about feminism as much as possible!
However, a few weeks ago a good friend of mine got married after 20 years with her partner because her kids ' are embarrassed" she doesn't have their surname! Gobsmacked doesn't describe it. I told her they should come and stay at ours for a while and see how they like our door name plate " Myownsurname/ OH and son's surname / other sons' exDH surname!

As a male never ever thought that sexism was that bad but it clearly is and it starts from such a young age.

A bank? Jeez, LDR, the mind boggles. Reminds me of the time (1998) in Eastern Malaysia (Muslim) when I went to the bank to change money my male companion was ushered through and out in 5 minutes whilst I was sat in a huge waiting area full.of women for almost an hour then summoned whilst they examined my passport, before being asked to make a thumb print because i was female! No amount of objecting ( politely) and pointing out that my profession was stated on the passport would budge them. I eventually had to give in to get my money! This was after they brought someone from the back to ask in English if I dyed my hair before the passport photograph! I'm blonde and clearly they thought I was a shyster, master-criminal altering my appearance. The answer was no which made them more suspicious i think! Sheessht.

It definitely is wildbhoysmama and that's also rather disheartening. For a start, there's no reason why the children should automatically have the father's surname anyway - why not the mother's, then if they all want the same surname there's no reason the father couldn't change his, just as there's no reason for men not to change their surnames upon marriage. So much sexism inherent in all this.

Yep. It is several years ago now. I'd recently married and Barclays quite seriously told me I wasn't allowed to continue using my maiden name if I was married, because it was illegal.

The same tosser of a bank clerk joked to my then-DH that he wouldn't want joint accounts as 'she'll spend all your money'. I was the main earner.

I did move banks!

When my head teacher married her DH took her name and subsequently her children. Go girl.
Quite right u moved banks, LDR. I'd have slapped him in the mush with ur cheque book!

At previous work we had a issue with a piece of equipment. Engineer was called to discuss parts over the phone and he said to me ' listen doll, pass me onto your boss and i'll talk him through the options'...i replied ' i would, but as i am a Phd in engineering it might be quicker to talk to me, son'...my boss almost snorted his coffee and complained to the company!

I've spent the day canvassing for the general election.
Really surprising numbers of women saying that their husband tells them which way to vote.

I got a conditional offer for Cambridge based on my O level results. My parents told me that education was wasted on a girl, as all they do is get a husband and he supports them. That was despite the fact my mother worked.
They refused to sign the forms I needed to get a student loan. And they refused to support me through A levels. So that was that.

I was paid less than a man doing exactly the same job.

The even more galling thing about it was I had gone straight from school and got decent qualifications specific to the job role he had gone to Uni and done a completely unrelated degree. I had also been in the job 6 months longer than him. I was talking to him about something and he happened to mention how the wage was a bit crap at x amount and he couldn't wait for the next pay rise I then realised he was on £250 a month more than me. I went and asked the boss why and he said well he was a man and had to provide for his family....oh and he had done a degree.

DH is very sexist.

He hates women in power, always criticises them nastily.

I accused him of this which he denied and asked him to name a female member of parliament that he admired. He thought for a while then came up with Barbara Castle - she was an MP from 1945-79!!!

unlimited

I drink bitter mostly. So does DH most of the time but occasionally opts for a G&T. We get the wrong drinks every time, even when we've stood at the bar and I've been deciding which one to have! Usually we just swap them over. However when we were in London I got really narked with the state of the beer (because it was flat warm piss with no head) and asked the barman to put a bit of life into it. He asked DH if he was sure.. 🙄
DH just laughed, said 'good luck mate' and went to find us some seats. I stood there smiling sweetly and asked for a decent pint

It's not my most appalling example but it was certainly one that was a bit unusual!

I have been out to on the election trail as well Unlimited and I can vouch that the same was said to me.

I was asked at an interview who was going to take care of my children if they were sick; it was a panel of three women.

Everyone is confused by my title now that I'm divorced. Am I Ms or Miss? Did I, big breath, keep Mrs? Hello? I have a name.

Winky, your story about the jump leads makes me feel all warm and fuzzy!!

I'm an engineer, therefore working abroad a very male dominated environment, and I've got a couple of positive examples to share.

As part of my grad scheme I spent a few weeks working/shadowing on a maintenance shift rotation on a power station, so there basically observing and learning and not being useful, or so I felt. I kept offering to make the tea/coffee, as everyone else was actually doing work, but I wasn't allowed as it would create the wrong impression that I was the tea girl and not an engineer from the headquarters. It wasn't something that I had considered in my youthful enthusiasm and I'm grateful to the (male, mid 60s) engineer that was in charge from letting me make that mistake.

Another colleague once told me that I was, "good at xyz, for a girl", and he was really confused when I tore a strip of him as he genuinely thought he was complementing me. When I explained that it was the "for a girl" I took umbrage at, I was either good at something or I wasn't, I swear I saw a light go on in his head. He then repeated the compliment, without the qualifier.

Being in a meeting as quite a junior person, but the slightly more junior but male person being the one sent out of the meeting to make photocopies. (so, so wrong that that feels like a victory, but there we go)

Thingsgettingstranger
Its great to read of a young woman who is comfortable in her skin - your DD clearly has strength of character . Love that she is happy to be herself - stuff those idiots trying to push 'gender identity' /stereotypical nonsense on one who is obviously confident and simply a non conformist. So sorry to hear she has been bullied though . Give her a thumbs up from me .

I also want to give to DJBaggySmalls

I'm an auctioneer but lots of people assume I'm a receptionist and are visibly horrified when they see that it will be me valuing their items.

We had one regular vendor who would come in and was always told to see me as I specialise in the type of item he sells but would actually ignore me if I spoke to him and would loiter around until he found a male colleague who would always tell him they could book his items in, but wouldn't value them as it was up to me. He used to bring his mail order bride who was made to sit silently in a chair. My manager eventually banned him because of his bad attitude.

Thingsgettingstranger Your DD sounds very similar to me! (except I'm crap at football) Tell her to keep sticking her middle finger up at the world

being told by school that girls shouldn't want to be doctors - I am a medical student. 100% happy to give any help I can about applying to med school.

Couple of examples from friends....

1. told by hospital consultant "only pretty girls get herpes"

1. another being asked if they would consider changing their son's surname to that of her Dad's so grandson could "continue the family line".... girls don't count!

There are endless out there Im afraid... but I do have hopes of the next generation - the girls are feisty and savvy and take no shit... though some of the boys are as chauvinist as previous generations. .... So example number 3.... from DD.... getting fed up with boys in her year who can't cope with her (or others) just being friends with boys, and making silly comments or "shipping" them, just because they've been seen having an intense conversation or having a laugh together...

And don't get me started on my own examples! From being told it was part of the job as a PR to accept an important client's hand fondling my knee during a meeting ... to being asked to wear that "revealing top" to an important meeting