£10 too small a gift for wedding

[poggybum]

I've changed my username in fear of being recognised I wonder what people's opinions are on only putting £10cash in a card for a relative I can't stand and doesn't currently talk to me but I have to go to the wedding (long story) DH & I are on a super tight budget right now and barely break even at the end of the month right now. The bride and groom have asked for cash and I know I'll get an aggressive call from my mum because the bridezilla is obsessed with money and will likely complain to her. I feel embarrassed because I know the bride will tell everyone but I don't want to take money out of savings for her. AIBU to stick to my guns on this one?

I understand not being able to not go. My sister destroyed our relationship for her wedding, she was a nightmare and took it out on me.
She didn't get me anything for my wedding but reminded people repeatedly that die wanted cash for hers. I made her a scrapbook, with family photos, recipes, hymns and songs that meant a lot to us as kids. It cost me £5 for materials and she was so pissed but couldn't say a word of complaint. It was awesome.

Don't go. (though be prepared for your sister to forever mention the time you didn't go to her wedding)(but who cares about what anyone else thinks)

Send a rose called 'wedding day' - less than a tenner on amazon - nicer than cash anyway.

Put what you can afford in the card
We've all been there
If she says something it will be very rude of her

Screw the family. My brother got married last year. We do not talk. I did not go. Nor did i send anything. I had endless calls from my mum about "what will people say" blah blah blah. She was embarrassed etc. As far i was concerned she was selfish. She was only concerned about her /the families appearance than how i felt. I stood my ground. The wedding of course went ahead. We still don't talk and i doubt we ever will. You get to a stage with some relationships where you just have to draw the line regardless of who they are. He robbed off me. Committed fraud against me. Threatened to kill me infront of my kids and you think i give a flying f* about his damn wedding to the hoe who was also involved?! And yes my mum knows everything however she appears to have selective hearing! You know what's right for you.

Charity gift ideas that don't seem sarky:

www.goodgifts.org/lovebirds-natural-habitat.html

www.goodgifts.org/plant-a-rose-in-uk-hedgerow-1.html

Didn't you post about this before?

I'd buy a nice bottle of wine, £10 is going to look a bit mean

Well if you're a millionaire, then. Yes, Its the epitome of tightness.
If you're on the bones of your arse. Its more than enough

Nope no way would i only put a tennar in so she can then bad mouth me to people and make me look bad. Bet shed revel in that. Id give her what shed gave me. Id go and smile through gritted teeth all day so she couldn't rip me to anyone else making me look unreasonable.

OP I think £10 for a wedding is embarrassing. Either don't go at all (tell them you don't want there to be tension that might spoil the day) or otherwise, rise above the family strife and give her the same as she gave you. Then you can hold your head high and not worry about regretting anything in the future.
I do think she's rude asking for money at all though.

Honestly don't give anything - think about it this way, when my sister got married (whom I have a good relationship with) it didn't even occur to be to buy them a present or give cash. She's my sister, it was way more important to be there on the day, to be a bridesmaid, to help her than it was to worry about gifts. Neither of us even noticed it or brought it up!

10 as a gift to your ds is an insult even though you don't get on. I'd at least just get a nice card and voucher or a nice photo frame or bubbly.
A tenner in a card is naff.

£10, you can't give that! What an insult, if you don't like her don't go but I would feel so ashamed giving only £10. You are getting a meal and most possible drinks, the days entertainment, if you went out for a meal with drinks it would be at least £50. I'm sorry but I wouldn't give less than £50.

I'd go an not give her anything.

£10 does look tight....nothing will just leave her bemused.

Or just give a card.

Derelict really? I bet she was thinking wtf! My brothers and me all gave each other a bigger present than we would anyone else. Im pretty shocked that you didnt get her anything. I will defo be giving something special to my sister too like paying oart of her wedding dress etc

Essential those are lovely gift ideas. I might use them in future, thanks!

Either don't go. Or go and give the same as she gave you. The relationship between my brother and me has always been tense. Brothers marriage to his wife was prekids as was mine. Always a drama with them. They've treated us and our dd appallingly. It hurt giving them same as we'd spent money on them to the equivalent amount with nothing in return. But I did it as the bigger person.

I am baffled at all these posters who are suggesting giving large amounts of money to someone who doesn't like them There's no way I would do that. So pleased I don't give a shit about keeping up appearances.

OP, don't go. Keep your head held high.

Don't go to the wedding.
Keeping up appearances = colluding with your family.

I'd accidently fall poorly thr day before.
Then send a card and that's it.

A tenner in a card is the going rate for primary school birthday presents round here. For a wedding it looks a bit strange. A bottle of wine would be better or a charity gift as posted above.

Don't feel obliged to attend at all though, unless you want to build bridges.

That's £10 too much imo

Do you even need to send a card?
If you really do, I wouldn't put any money in.
If your sister tells others what you have given her, or haven't,
it says more about her than you.
Good luck on the day!

I'd say my gift to you is me not attending as you've saved on the cost of a meal.