About smelly TA

[Calyrical]

DS is in trouble.

The conversation went:

Teacher - "DS, do you want mrs smith to help you with that?"
DS - "no."

DS was still struggling so lost his play. Got told off by the teacher and was asked "and why didn't you want Mrs smith to help you?"
DS "because her breath smells bad."

This is true. However DS has now lost tomorrows play and must write a letter of apology. AIBU to think this is over the top and if you don't want an answer don't ask the question?

How old? A 4 year old will just say the truth. An 11 year old must realise that's rude.

Poor DS. How old is he?

How old is the child?

Depends entirely on how old he is, but clearly at some point he will need to learn that you can't just make personal remarks, even if they are true.

Adults can't just announce that their colleagues' breath smells bad - you'd wind up in front of HR.

DS just turned six.

Aw. I wouldn't blame him too much at the age of 6, but I'd certainly take this opportunity to start teaching him how to be polite and care for other people's feelings.

""Adults can't just announce that their colleagues' breath smells bad ""

Every Social Care roll that worked in from CA to SW has had a personal hygiene code and you can be pulled up on it.

My DD worked in a Nursery and they'd have to brush their teeth or have mints after eating or smoking.

It depends on what she smells of and if it's bothering the children, she should be advised to pay more attention to it.

I think it's awful and she is one of those people who stand very close to you when speaking.

But obviously it's rude to say it - I think this should have been explained to DS first though.

At six he obviously didn't understand that it was rude but, as a previous poster says, it's probably a good chance to have a chat about other people's feelings.

Birds - two different issues. Of course you can be pulled up at work on personal hygiene pursuant to a proper procedure. But I can't go into my next meeting and announce I don't want to work with a particular colleague because his breath smells.

If he's heaving and feeling ill due to her breath, it'll put him off his work anyway. He did nothing wrong and I hope you make a complaint about the TA's hygiene.

I think you need to handle this tactfully to be kind.

However when I was a Sen TA, I always used chewing gum after drinking or eating because I knew the children I worked with had extreme sensory sensitivities.

I hope they're dealing with the TA's personal hygiene. It's not fair to expect kids to put up with bad smells especially if they have sensory issues.

If it is bad enough for him to not want to be near her then someone needs to tell her and get her to change. Poor kid. I had a driving instructor who had bad breath. I hated being stuck in a car with him.

He doesn't have sensory issues as far as we're aware. But her breath could strip paint!

If it's that bad the teacher must be well aware of it. He needs to understand that he was rude even if he didn't mean to be. The teacher has the worse task of managing the problem. Or passing it on to the appropriate person to handle.

Could you have a tactful word with the teacher? Obviously not inviting her to agree with you but asking that this matter is addressed in a sensitive but meaningful way?

"But her breath could strip paint!"

Oh yuk. The poor kids. They shouldn't have to put up with that.

I hope I'm not the only one in stitches after reading this. Obviously what your DS said was out of line, and hopefully he will grow out of making such blunt remarks - and that poor TA! - but kids really do just say the funniest things at times..

Is what true?

Oh god that's awful, and cringy. I don't think your DS should be punished although he should obviously be told it's rude and punished if he does it again. But it's bloody awkward to tell someone they smell isn't it?

I don't understand why DS has to write a letter of apology and miss playtime for something he said to the teacher and NOT to the TA.

Surely all that was required is a gentle chat about how sometimes being honest can hurt other people's feelings?

Yes, I'd have thought so.

.I worked as a TA with one child with Aspergers who walked into a classroom and pointed at the teacher and said, " You're fat!" and proceeded to sit down. I pointed out that it was rude to make personal comments and he just said. "But look at the tummy!" There were no punishments, just a chat about why it isn't ok to comment on a teacher's appearance. I know he had SN but still at 6, your DC is learning.

Has he never been taught that it is rude to make personal comments?