Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About smelly TA

152 replies

Calyrical · 05/06/2017 16:16

DS is in trouble.

The conversation went:

Teacher - "DS, do you want mrs smith to help you with that?"
DS - "no."

DS was still struggling so lost his play. Got told off by the teacher and was asked "and why didn't you want Mrs smith to help you?"
DS "because her breath smells bad."

This is true. However DS has now lost tomorrows play and must write a letter of apology. AIBU to think this is over the top and if you don't want an answer don't ask the question?

OP posts:
Giddyaunt18 · 05/06/2017 18:29

He should have been taught to not make such personal comments.

Yes , this is how they learn, from experience and consequences.

29Palms · 05/06/2017 18:31

Aaaand there's another one who hasn't RTFT.

Trifleorbust · 05/06/2017 18:37

Going to be honest and say I don't have the time or the motivation to answer so many people! I have explained what I think. I don't mind if this isn't the majority view.

OP, obviously I disagree with you and many others on this thread, but I accept your DS probably did not mean to be so rude.

Original poster
Calyrical · 05/06/2017 18:39

Poor you, 29

OP posts:
SparklyUnicornPoo · 05/06/2017 18:42

Does the TA have smelly breath?

6 year olds are pretty blunt but usually you'd explain to them why they shouldn't say things like that, not make them write a letter of apology and miss break, unless of course he has made similar comments before. I work in a primary school and I am really quite fat, occasionally a younger child will point this out, they get a chat about it not being a nice thing to say but honestly there isn't any need to punish them.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 05/06/2017 18:42

@Italiangreyhound - I don't see that the boy had a choice that wasn't going to be considered rude or naughty -

Tell the truth - rude.

Lie - bad.

Refuse to answer teacher's question - rude.

I am struggling to see how he could have responded to a direct question from an authority figure without being 'rude', defiant or dishonest - and I am 52! How can we expect a wee boy, in the heat of the situation, to find another option?

TheFreaksShallInheritTheEarth · 05/06/2017 18:46

Your poor DS, whatever he did was going to be wrong, bad or rude.

YANBU OP, I should ask the teacher what she expected him to say, if not give an honest answer.

MipMipMip · 05/06/2017 18:52

I'm wondering if this letter of apology is how the teacher is going yo tell the TA she has has bad breath? Since the comment wasn't made in front of her it's possible she is unaware of the situation and will be until she reads it.

Goldmandra · 05/06/2017 18:52

I would ask the teacher to explain how he should have answered her question if the truth was rude.

I don't think I could come up with anything better than his response without lying or refusing to answer at all, neither of which were likely to be deemed acceptable.

What is the point in punishing him? What has he learned? She hasn't taught him anything except that he can't trust her.

WishfulThanking · 05/06/2017 18:54

I don't get the posters who on every thread berate the people who haven't 'RTFT'. FFS, we don't all have time to read hundreds of posts, especially when half the time people are saying the same thing. Do you people not have lives? Or jobs?

I'd imagine most people read the OP, then the first page or two then skip to the latest page. If it looks like a major update has happened then one would scroll back. But fuck me if I am going to read hundreds of posts just so some self-appointed thread police won't admonish me! Hmm

Maybe you have been avidly refreshing the page for every new message, but we are not all like you!

Original poster
Calyrical · 05/06/2017 18:55

I wondered that too, Mip.

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 05/06/2017 18:56

So the teacher asked him and he answered honestly.

Not sure what he was supposed to do. The teacher asked him a question.

It's affecting his work how much longer was he supposed to put up and shut up ffs.

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/06/2017 19:00

Irs always obvious when six year olds are lying too. Put on the spot they can't tho k that quickly especially as he wasn't being malicious or spiteful so it wasn't some master plan to shake or upset someome.

He'd have been screwed whatever he said it did as he just wouldn't have been able to give a different answer without it being obvious he was lying anyway

Floggingmolly · 05/06/2017 19:19

Well tbf, he didn't "just say it" completely unsolicited, he was asked specifically why he didn't want her sitting beside him.
He didn't say it directly to the TA, but maybe the teacher can do something with this information now, awkward though it is?

JacquesHammer · 05/06/2017 19:24

6 year old turns to TA and says "your breath stinks" - then yes, rude.

6 year old questioned by a teacher and gives an answer, however personal - not rude.

All this poor kid is going to take away from this is that he's being punished for telling the truth.

The teacher would have been far better saying "well sometimes people have things wrong with them that makes their breath smell, so it would be unkind to say this to them".

roundaboutthetown · 05/06/2017 19:26

WishfulThanking - do the OP's posts not stand out in green when you read threads? I don't read the whole thread, but it doesn't take very long at all to read what the OP said, then you know what the actual situation is, as 100% of the time, the OP has to clarify something along the way.

WishfulThanking · 05/06/2017 19:32

They stand out if you're logged in. But then again nobody is going to log in then scroll through pages of posts to check for updates by the OP. I don't get why it annoys you when someone has posted in reply to the OP without scrolling through passages and pages of messages. Maybe you have too much time on your hands? Just let it go without comment.

WishfulThanking · 05/06/2017 19:32

*pages

WishfulThanking · 05/06/2017 19:33

What I'm getting at is that you are far too invested if you're reading every message and additionally taking the time to berate those who haven't.

NotYoda · 05/06/2017 19:34

WishfulThinking

You may think people are thread police, but it makes you look a bit foolish (and arrogant) when you join a thread without realising it's a conversation.

WishfulThanking · 05/06/2017 19:35

Fwiw I'm not the one who was admonished for commuting the heinous crime, but I don't get why it's such a big deal

NotYoda · 05/06/2017 19:37

It matters because of the reason I said above
but if you don't mind appearing rude to the OP then that's fine

BTW I mean "you" as in "anyone who doesn't RTFT"

Original poster
Calyrical · 05/06/2017 19:38

Wishful, the thread is only 5 pages.

If you don't have time to read fair enough but then don't post!

OP posts:
Urubu · 05/06/2017 19:42
  • year old turns to TA and says "your breath stinks" - then yes, rude.

6 year old questioned by a teacher and gives an answer, however personal - not rude*

This

JeNeBaguetteRien · 05/06/2017 19:47

I also thought this was the teacher's cowardly way of letting the TA know about the issue.
I would speak to the teacher tomorrow and ask what happened.

Swipe left for the next trending thread