Men in changing rooms

[TheWernethWife]

Went shopping yesterday, popped into a well known women's shop and there was a man in the changing room. When I asked why he was there the assistant looked at me like I had three heads and said he was probably helping his wife and most people wouldn't be bothered. Well I was bloody bothered.

I am my OH's carer.
I wouldn't dream of bowling into the men's changing area as if I had a right to be there.

kurri I wonder if so many are desperate to be cool about this sort of issue because they didn't have to deal with what we did in the 70s and 80s?
I noticed a change during the late 80s and 90s. Less cat calling etc.
Then it all started to go downhill again. Maybe because some women take their freedoms and choices for granted.

He doesn't "bowl in". We check it's OK first, as I'd assume most people would.

"He doesn't "bowl in". We check it's OK first, as I'd assume most people would." Of course that's absolutely fine.

Then why the hell are you arguing with people and calling them cunts?

Why wouldn't I argue with someone who calls my husband creepy, aggressive, obnoxious, entitled, invasive, indecent and accuses him of "throwing himself round", when he is and does none of those things?

I didn't call anyone a cunt, actually.

The point about "Danielle" was that if it becomes unacceptable to challenge males in women-only spaces because they might be trans, then women-only spaces effectively don't exist and threads like this become redundant.

You shouldn't have been insulted. And you were right to fight back.

But you did do that really annoying thing where you said "I'll be sure to tell my carer husband he is an inconsiderate, disrespectful, obnoxious creep for assisting me in a changing room" when it was obvious that nobody was saying that about people in your situation at all.

But she was, and she confirmed it.

Why do we have to 'get a grip'?
I have plenty of grips thanks.
I still don't want men hanging about in a changing room

That doesn't mean I think I am so desirable any man wouldn't be able to help themselves
It doesn't mean I am a prude
It doesn't mean i hate men

It means I think I have the right to take my clothes off without a man being able to see me

Agree100%

I didn't call anyone a cunt, actually
You didn't? Why were you deleted then?

Any man who will walk into a womans dressing room is an inconsiderate, disrespectful, obnoxious creep and having some silly little wife behind him claiming that his entitled self is lovely doesn't make it so. We are our behaviours, not our spouses opinions of us.

Ahh that's given me a good laugh

I called them a cunt-trumpet Or in politer terms, a fanny fart. Air from a hole, which is what she was spouting

I didn't call anyone a cunt actually
Yes you did. I read your vile post to HildaOg before it was deleted.

Nope, sorry. A fanny fart is categorically different to a vagina.

Whose post was the 'grade A cunt' one?

The point is that her posts were directed at men and their spouses who don't bother to consider other people, you got mortally offended and then said 'oh we don't do that'

Isn't it a waste of energy getting upset about things that don't apply to you as if they do?

It was my post. But it said "Grade A cunt-trumpet".

Yes, it's a waste of energy, definitely. However she did also mean disabled people and their carers, as she confirmed in her second post which personally attacked me and my husband, quite unfairly. It's a shame people have attitudes like that and as a disabled person just trying to live a life that will never be normal again, it's quite frustrating to come by. Never mind - we'll bumble along as we do, never doing harm to anyone but suffering none the less.

Cunt trumpet

She deserved to be called that and worse.

I dislike the tone of her posts but didn't she only say that because you were pretending you and your husband ignored the feelings of everyone else?
I don't understand why you did that.
What was the point?

Your husband is your carer ,you need his help, you both check before you enter a changing room.

Life is hard enough when you are living with disability, why on earth make it harder by getting into spats that are pointless?

But it said Grade-A cunt-trumpet
That's ok then.

I wasn't aware I was implying we ignored anyone's feelings. We'd never do that - we always ask if there's an accessible changing room for us both to use and most often we are told no, but it's fine to both use the normal room/cubicle. I did think it would be common sense to ask first, which is why I didn't point out that we do.

I wasn't initially getting into a spat, but the attitude that all men who enter a changing room are creeps and entitled was very wrong and horrible.

I don't want to be a pita but your posts did imply that you didn't give a toss about anyone else and you were just going to do as you wanted regardless.
You have made it clear that you are not like that at all.

There is still a chance that people won't gaf about your circumstances, in which case, cunt away.
Its tricky. I know that. I care for my OH and one of my sons who is now far to big to be welcome in a women's changing room.