Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Men in changing rooms

495 replies

TheWernethWife · 04/06/2017 11:24

Went shopping yesterday, popped into a well known women's shop and there was a man in the changing room. When I asked why he was there the assistant looked at me like I had three heads and said he was probably helping his wife and most people wouldn't be bothered. Well I was bloody bothered.

OP posts:
Legma37 · 05/06/2017 05:42

Whilst I agree that men should not be in a female changing room, I have noticed that women tend to enter a male changing room to pass or comment on clothes. I would expect shop assistants to prevent this as they would to makes entering female changing rooms.

Elisheva · 05/06/2017 07:33

*Until told otherwise by any shop assistants, I will continue to bring my DH in with me.

If they politely ask me not to, fair enough.*

And if another woman asks you politely not to is that fair enough?

DameDeDoubtance · 05/06/2017 07:40

Trouble is most people won't say anything, they will just feel uncomfortable or not go into the changing room. Please don't take your dh into the changing room.

BertrandRussell · 05/06/2017 07:55

"It doesn't make me feel that uncomfortable, because I think the risk of anything happening is small"

It's not because it's a risk. It's because it might make another woman feel embarrassed, or spoil her shopping trip. Why would you do that? It's insensitive and unkind.

Fl0ellafunbags · 05/06/2017 08:07

I was in Next with DH today looking for a new pair of trousers for him, I went into the changing room and waited outside the cubicle for him

Now come on and be honest, you were just after a glimpse of willy weren't you?

EmpressOfTheSpartacusOceans · 05/06/2017 08:07

This is Danielle, who identifies as female and lives in a women's shelter (or did until recently, not sure if that's changed).

Any woman objecting to Danielle's presence in a changing room could get herself asked to leave instead. If she was lucky. In Canada she could be arrested.

Men in changing rooms
Fl0ellafunbags · 05/06/2017 08:15

Can we please just agree that some dickheads abuse trans rights because they think it puts them above the law but that the majority of trans people are just trying to get on with their lives without causing any harm and distress to anyone? Can we just do that please?

Nickynackynoodle · 05/06/2017 08:16

This is so depressing. Do people really think that rape and sexual assault are about sex? They are about power. Have a google of what's happening in target stores in America to see what happens when we justify let this shit happen?

Also, this. Happy enough for men to "access all areas"?

Men in changing rooms
waitforitfdear · 05/06/2017 08:20

maybe he identifies as a woman

So fucking what! Men shouldn't be in women's safe spaces and if he has a cock he's a bloke.

I would have walked out after complaining to the manager

FrancisCrawford · 05/06/2017 08:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fl0ellafunbags · 05/06/2017 08:28

In the example of Danielle above it is women who are directly affected

And trans people because it spreads fear, distrust and hatred.

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 05/06/2017 08:52

It's a shop, it's a cubicle, your hardly going to get raped and murdered, filmed, assaulted, or even looked at when there is an assistant right there, cameras outside the rooms and a wife in the next cubicle!'
Even if you are correct, is it too much to ask that I can try on clothes without an unknown man potentially getting an eyeful of my semi-naked body? I'd like to preserve some dignity. Those curtains are notorious for leaving gaps at the side of the cubicles aren't they.

Trouble is most people won't say anything, they will just feel uncomfortable or not go into the changing room. Please don't take your dh into the changing room.
Exactly this. If men were in women's changing areas I'd simply put the clothes back on the rail and leave. If an assistant was there and not automatically asking them leave, then that's sending the message that they think it's fine, so I probably wouldn't say anything to them either.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 05/06/2017 09:14

Are some (able bodied) posters so seriously joined at the hip that they take their male partners into an actual changing cubicle? Okkkkkkk....

BertrandRussell · 05/06/2017 09:23

Take away all the stuff about rape and filming and peeping toms.

Why should women have to put up with a perfectly nice man they don't know accidentally seeing them naked or in their underwear if they don't want to?

freeEnquiry · 05/06/2017 09:28

YetAnotherSpartacus

And are all disabled-bodied posters' partners automatically not rapey voyeurs?

Clearly, the only thing to do is ban men from public. Maybe we could let them mingle with us every other Thursday.

BertrandRussell · 05/06/2017 09:31

"Clearly, the only thing to do is ban men from public. Maybe we could let them mingle with us every other Thursday."

Oh, don!t talk bollocks.

MrsDustyBusty · 05/06/2017 09:32

Or we could continue the sane policy of letting them mingle with us in all areas not marked out as women's spaces, such as toilets and changing rooms.

TheFirstMrsDV · 05/06/2017 09:43

This thread reminds me of the ones about women not wanting male medics for intimate procedures.
They are routinely slammed down with comments like 'do you think you are so desirable he is going to want to have sex with you while you are having a smear?'
'You have to leave your dignity at the door when you are having a baby, don't be so precious'
From women to women.

From women to women who are merely requesting some choice around who sees and touches their body.

They are ridiculed and sneered at.

freeEnquiry · 05/06/2017 09:46

Of course it was bollocks Bertrand! Clearly Wednesdays would work better.

MrsDusty. Yes. Instead of confining the days, we confine the space. Now, as 100% of rapes are carried out by men, perhaps keeping them out of town centres would work. And anywhere without street lighting. Anywhere with an on-licence, of course. Anywhere we did allow them, they should apologise twice for their sex and then put on their yellow penis badge, so that we can spot them in a crowd. We should remove them from government service, admission to the bar and removal from being veterinarians. Ban them from editorial posts in the media, expel them as army officers, ban them as teachers in public schools, ban male children from public schools and then, to stop halt the patriarchy, a decree concerning the surrender of precious metals and stones in male ownership.

metspengler · 05/06/2017 09:51

I will call DH in sometimes for his opinion on things or to help me. Close the curtains.

BertrandRussell · 05/06/2017 09:52

Or we could ask them to respect women only spaces. Just a thought.

BertrandRussell · 05/06/2017 09:55

"I will call DH in sometimes for his opinion on things or to help me. Close the curtains."

I like my dp's opinion too. He waits outside the changing room-there are often seats for that very purpose -and I come out to him.

freeEnquiry · 05/06/2017 10:02

But who gets to call them 'women only spaces'? The assistant charged with manning the area in a private business? Oh no. MN moaners who know better.

Really, vote with your purses and it'll remove the queues for changing rooms for us who have things of substance to get all worked-up about.

WillowWeeping · 05/06/2017 10:03

Th S who are so desperate for your DHs opinion why on earth can't you walk out of the cubicle to the front entrance of the changing rooms and ask him what he thinks there?!

WillowWeeping · 05/06/2017 10:05

freeenquiry who have things of substance to get all worked-up about

Are you always so dismisdive when your views don't align with views of others?!