Men in changing rooms

[TheWernethWife]

Went shopping yesterday, popped into a well known women's shop and there was a man in the changing room. When I asked why he was there the assistant looked at me like I had three heads and said he was probably helping his wife and most people wouldn't be bothered. Well I was bloody bothered.

I bought a suit in M and S today. Their fitting rooms are a series of cubicles with separate curtains all approached through a small area where one of their staff sits to count how many items you are taking in and keep an eye and you and their stock. No separate areas for women or men.

I walked through the area into a cubicle, pulled the curtain too, and tried on the trousers. They fitted me, I took them off and put my own trousers on, then I walked out past the item-counter, stopping for a moment to be polite and comment on how busy it was because they are doing a dismal job. Then out again.

What else was I supposed to do and where was I supposed to try the trousers on?

Willow are you saying that a women who because of disability needs a carer who happens to be male, should be forced into the male changing room?

'99.999% of men are perfectly fine.'

1 in 4 women have been raped or sexually assaulted. 1 in 6 children have been sexually abused.

If the assistants aren't doing their job, complain to the store management.

If you want opinions from your husband, go outside the changing room and show him.

If you have a disability and your husband is your carer, the store should provide an accessible changing area for you to use with his support.

There is no reason why a man should be in the women's changing room.

spikey but if its ok for men to come into the women's why wouldn't it be ok for the a woman to go into the men's?
Genuinely not being obtuse. The poster said it didn't bother her having a man in the changing room so presumably she wouldn't mind going in the the men's instead?

Area Thank you for reinforcing my point about not wanting men in changing rooms unless there are lockable doors and floor to ceiling walls.

Willow are you saying that a women who because of disability needs a carer who happens to be male, should be forced into the male changing room?

A woman who has a male carer absolutely should not inflict that male carer on other women. If she doesn't have an issue with imposing a strange man on women how could she possibly object to using the men's changing rooms?! Genuine question

To me it's an issue of treating someone differently because of a disability. I know a lot of people wouldn't care (I wouldn't) but some would.
Lots of stores do not provide a separate unisex large changing room.
I have seen quite a few discussions where when the carer and the person they are caring for are opposite sex, they are told they must use the male facilities because they are in the minority and the other people matter more. This makes me feel uncomfortable.

What else was I supposed to do and where was I supposed to try the trousers on?

What is your dilemma here AndrewFogg?

In this instance you have a unisex changing area, therefore you use this area to try on your trousers. As you did. Had it been marked as a women's changing room you should have looked for a men's changing room to try on your trousers.

If a shop only has unisex changing areas I do not try clothes on in it - that is my choice - I attach no fault to those people using them as they are designated. Why on earth would I?

Why when women say quite clearly 'I don't want men changing in a women's changing room' does a man then ask 'but where do I change when the changing room is unisex?'.

There are women's men's and unisex changing rooms in the world, They are designated for either women, men or both sexes. You assess the situation and make your decision, it is not quantum physics.

Almost all the women's fashion stores I shop at, from chains to luxury designer, have at least a few male shop assistants who are in and out of the fitting rooms like any female staff member would be. None of these stores fitting rooms are labelled as women's, just as fitting rooms.

TBH I've never really thought of any changing rooms as single sex unless it's a big store that has one of each. Apart from transgender people, I know short men who often shop in women's sections for certain things, and a ton of women who buy men's clothes. I've tried things on in 'men's stores' and didn't even think about it.

FrancisCrawford

Does it not make sense to you that any individual poster - who has probably made multiple personal comments in this site - wouldn't want to share the details of where they live with everyone on the internet? If someone read my comments they would know where I lived, my profession, my marital status, the fact I have a child, the sex and age of that child, plus many other small details of my existence. Outing myself online just to prove a point that I know to be 100% correct is very much not of interest to me. Is that really so hard for you to get?

@Francis that convo had strayed onto mens toilets. Would help to read before commenting.

@FrancisCrawford I really don't understand why you are being so inappropriate and keep going off the subject..

FrancisCrawford

I suppose I was distracted by your baseless accusations that people are lying and your general rudeness. Now that I have engaged with you, could you possibly answer the question?

Reasons why women have a right to woman-only spaces:
being one of the 1 in 4 who have been sexually assaulted
religious beliefs
general shyness/teenage body angst
feeling uneasy about the particular man they can see
having a disability which makes trying on clothes hard, and more likely to accidentally 'show' themself

Reasons why a woman may want a man in the changing rooms:
Woman has a disability and needs help - store is legally obliged to provide accessible changing rooms so they could both be in a cubicle without intruding on others.

So - absolutely NO actual reason for a man to be wandering around and invading the woman's space.

If a child is old enough to dress themself, they're old enough to try on clothes alone. If they're not old enough to do that, you're probably just buying them clothes for them anyway without needing to try them on, OR they're so young they don't really have much awareness of which changing rooms they're using.

FrancisCrawford

Well at least you have stopped calling me a liar.

For goodness sake, if you are a bloke stay out of the women's changing room. Bloody hell, just let women have their privacy, it's not much to ask.

For me, it's nothing to do with sex or sex pests (although I totally understand why others are uncomfortable with the possibility of pervs sneaking their phones underneath cubicle dividers to film semi-naked women!), it's about being self-conscious being seen by strangers whilst in a state of undress. Curtains never close properly so it's often possible to get a peak, and as kaitlinktm said at 13:16:54, sometimes people accidentally think your cubicle is empty when it's not. I'd be embarrassed enough if a woman got an eyeful of me changing, but I'd be mortified if it was a man.