Men in changing rooms

[TheWernethWife]

Went shopping yesterday, popped into a well known women's shop and there was a man in the changing room. When I asked why he was there the assistant looked at me like I had three heads and said he was probably helping his wife and most people wouldn't be bothered. Well I was bloody bothered.

So it would be appropriate to take a 7 year old girl into the men's. So walking her past a bunch of men with hands on their willy is appropriate, whatever next.

Men should not be in the women's dressing room. Comment on it on twitter and tag the name of the store. They hate that kind of bad publicity as they can't erase it.

This is ridiculous.
WHY must women keep defending their right to be able to take their clothes off in women only spaces?

I don't need to have a mega reason. I don't need to be scared of assault.
I just need to be able to say 'I am a woman and I don't want to get changed where men are able to walk around me'.
Talking of 'faux outrage'...what about the 'faux outrage' along the 'you are in a cubicle fgs!'?
Please don't tell me all those posters really think that curtains on cubicles offer complete privacy.
They don't. They are notoriously rubbish.

That's what the cubicle is for, to take off their clothes in public.

Oops, I meant private.

Some charity shops have just a curtain in the corner of the shop. I use them but I am very careful about what I'd try on and what is on show. In a women's changing room, otoh, I would strip off as required as I know there would be only other women who could potentially see anything through the curtain gap. It would be an unpleasant shock to find a man sat outside.

FrancisCrawford

I don't need to prove it, nor would my telling you which town/city I live in help, unless you had been there or were willing to get in your car and come and check.

I am not going to engage any further with someone who is bloody rude enough to call me a liar.

The constant accusations of being childish, silly, precious, hysterical, when women don't want their space invaded really depresses me, these kind of terms have been used for so long by men to keep women in their place, To make them feel they are not equal, not adult, not able to make decisions, that their feelings are not valid. I find it quite distressing that these views are now being touted by posters who I think are probably women.

I am finding it more and more on MN that women turn on other women using male language strategies and support the idea that men have greater rights to have their wishes met than women.

It really makes me feel that MN is a place I no longer want to be.

We are talking about men being in women's changing rooms - this really should be something that there is no debate over. Men do not need to be in women's changing rooms. legitimate suggestions have been made as to how 'garnering opinion or assistance' can be undertaken without men coming into the changing area.

Yet still people are throwing out insults to those who want to protect their right to privacy while undressed. Too many apologists for unreasonable male behaviour - it is getting noticeably worse on here.I find that uncomfortable and worrying.

Wow a couple of aggressive replies to my reasonable suggestion that it's nice to have someone help while I'm trying on clothes.

Yes, I often have trouble reaching round the back to do up a zip. I am not disabled in any way, I just have short arms. And have occasionally got "trapped" in a dress, something that has happened to a very slim friend of mine too

It's all very well saying take extra sizes in with you, but you are limited to how many garments you can take in, and I find it difficult to judge sizes. I might want to try on several different things. I hate having to repeatedly get dressed again and go back into the shop.

It would be nice if the assistants actually assisted, but their job is supervision and preventing theft. I generally don't find them willing/able to help, except if they are bra fitters.

I have nothing more to add so I will withdraw from this increasingly unpleasant discussion.

BirdsGottaFly - All of our branches, here in Liverpool do not allow men in, so Email Customer Services
I think when a PP referred to New Look she meant that she wasn't allowed to go into the changing room and give her son other pairs of trousers.

I don't think that the incident in the OP happened in New Look.

I am finding it more and more on MN that women turn on other women using male language strategies and support the idea that men have greater rights to have their wishes met than women.

I wouldn't get too upset about it KurriKurri, I strongly suspect there are a few male interlopers (not including the men who are happy enough to be known) and the odd man who feels like a woman.

If you need the assistance of a male whilst trying on clothes then why not both go in the male changing rooms?

Men don't generally feel threatened with women present so this would resolve the issue.

So many attempts to make women feel foolish for objecting on this thread

This is what society does to our daughters. Makes them feel silly if they are uncomfortable with situations

and we know where that leads

Exactly what MrsDV said

KurriKurri has it.

To anyone saying that they struggle getting into/out of clothes without help: Then ask the assistant if your partner can come in, and he stays in the cubicle.

An absolute NO to a man wandering around and being in and out. It's not his space. He's not entitled to be there. I don't go into the men's changing room to help DH. That would be fucking weird.

Frankly, if I can't easily get into a dress etc I won't buy it anyway, because as an adult I want to dress myself.

My DD would have an absolute meltdown if she were trying on clothes and a man was wandering around just the other side of a curtain. That would be great for everyone, wouldn't it? A full-on teenage autism freak out. I'm sure the shop would love the slump in sales from that little episode.

There are many, many reasons why women want and need privacy to try on clothes. None of those should be sacrificed.

The assistant assumed he was there with a female customer she didn't know. 99.999% of men are perfectly fine but a man in a store local to me was taking photographs up women's skirts yesterday. I could imagine he'd have a field day if he could go into a changing room unchallenged. If men are allowed in, the shop needs to provide adequate cubicles.

Another store local to me just has several small unisex changing rooms out on the shop floor with floor to ceiling walls and locking doors. The assistants keep them locked unless a customer needs them when they unlock them to let the customer in. No privacy concerns and men and women have equal changing access.

FYI as a man I would feel threatened if a women was in the men's changing room. On many occasions I have felt threatened when women have thought it ok to use mens toilets when there queues are too long.

However as a parent of a daughter I struggle in situations that do not offer unisex solutions as it means you are left wot no choice to either use one or the other which is not fair.

Did he look like a potential sex offender?
Since this is MN are we not supposed to assume that all men are potential sex offenders?

Most department stores don't have male/female changing. They are just "dressing rooms"

Where. Which department stores? I have never ever seen a 'dressing room' when out shopping.

I know the PP doesn't want to say where she lives but surely naming the stores isn't a problem?

I can't believe the lengths that people have gone to on this thread. The OP was talking about a women's changing room. Not a dressing room, not a unisex, not a curtain in the corner of a shop, not the changing village at the swimming pool.

A space marked for women which had a man inside it.

Stop fucking tripping over yourselves to defend the entitled and unreasonable behavior of men.

It's nice to have someone help while I'm trying on clothes
While it is NICE for you to have some help in the changing room, it is REALLY NICE for everybody else not to have your helper in the changing room with them.

afro so despite saying you as a man would feel threatened by the presence of a woman you'd happily take your DD into the ladies changing rooms? Or have I misunderstood your earlier thread.

FYI as a man I would feel threatened if a women was in the men's changing room. On many occasions I have felt threatened when women have thought it ok to use mens toilets when there queues are too long.

Genuine question @AfroBrown. What's the nature of the threat you feel? Is it physical, psychological?

It's nice to have someone help while I'm trying on clothes

So take your male companion and change in the men's changing rooms

FFS, I stopped needing help to get dressed when I was still a child. I don't want my wee lass (my niece that I am parental figure for), who has autism being uncomfortable because there's a man in the changing room. I'm still teaching her that she has a right to feel respected, after a shitty childhood. But I suppose your right to have a man in the FEMALE changing room is more important than her genuine distress.

He may not have had any intention other than to help his dw. He may not have had any intention or interest in invading the privacy of other cubicles. However, it happens even accidentally, and that can be very unpleasant.

I wash shopping with teen dd yesterday, for clothes for her, and in every shop we're she tried clothes on, someone accidentally opened her cubicle curtain - once with a huge flourish. Had it been a man don't no that, even with no malice intended, I think she would have been terrified.