Behaviour at school play yesterday

[user1485342611]

We had:

The woman who put her child standing on a chair for a better view, despite the fact they were up near the front, and then stood herself for the remainder of the performance.

The baby who was allowed cry and disrupt the performance several times before the mother took her out

The family who all clattered in late and settled themselves with much scraping of chairs.

The whiny toddler whose parents loudly accommodated him, 'do you want to sit on my lap' 'here's a biscuit' etc

The adults who chatted together when their child wasn't on stage

And the mother who answered two phone calls during the play.

Not to mention the parents holding their phones up in front of everyone to record the whole thing.

Are some adults incapable of showing a bit of cop on and consideration for half a bloody hour?

mummypopz - they would like to partake....and dc2 knows it will come once in high school with older dc, but we agree as a family we dont want to move again, and although they don't know the risk to their lives, they know we cannot be found due to their birth family. Its as much as you can tell a 10 year old. We muddle along!

The photograph issue is interesting, and I just think parents have to go along with the rule. With regard to parents and children making a noise in the performance that is inconsiderate and rude, the performance is often a one off, the hall is often packed full of parents who want to see their child, whilst the child wants their parents to watch. Why should this be disrupted by one parent being inconsiderate.

DDs school sent out letters when the children join ed asking if they have permission for photographs and such. I know a couple of parents said no as they told me. However during plays and such there is never an announcement or anything saying for people not to take photos/videos. At the last play we arrived really late (but not after show started) so had to stand at the back. Some idiot stood right infront of us with his phone in the bloody air, and kept moving backwards and forwards infront of a bunch of other standing parents. Not a care in the fucking world. Even stood on DSs foot at one stage and didn't even apologize, just glared at him and continued on his merry way blocking the views of everyone else. I do wonder if these people actually realise how ignorant they are...surely they must do...noone can lack self-awareness quite that much

Haven't had time to read 9 pages of comments but caught a few.

Mostly yes inappropriate behaviour but as for allowing babies to cry... I never once allowed my baby to cry, that didn't stop her doing it though! Not at a performance, thankfully, but probably at plenty of places I and everyone else would have preferred she didn't. Unfair to expect a parent to leave because of it since they are obviously there as parent to a performer. Yes frustrating but I expect the parent felt dreadful too. I highly doubt they were sat revelling in the fact their child was upset. One of the first things siblings and cousins learn when they become one is that babies cry. Yet so many parents on here seem to have forgotten experiencing that part!

Whining toddler parents not entirely unreasonable. Though I would hope they did it as quietly possible.

I completely agree with the original post. I don't however agree with people's suggestions to ban younger siblings. Are you seriously suggesting I should miss my first borns 'show' for daring to have another child? I personally manage to keep my youngest entertained at assemblies without causing any disruption, if there was any sign of toddler rage we would be out of there, just as I would expect any parent to do. The toddlers and babies are not a problem, it's how the cries and tantrums are managed.

I don't agree with blanket bans on younger siblings. However, the reason this is implemented somewhere will be because some parents won't bother to entertain youngsters, they won't take them out if they start causing a fuss or screaming. They just expect everyone else to put up with it rather than doing the right thing and getting out of there until you can calm your child. So...the majority suffer because of a few ignorant arseholes

With regard to the horrible habit of mobile phones in stretched out arms throughout these things, our head teacher starts each performance by asking all parents to switch phones off, to watch their child with their eyes and not through a lens so they remember for themselves these special moments. At the end of the performance they then repeat a small section (normally a song that they all do) which can be filmed. There is an adopted little boy in the class who is taken out of the performance for this section and is allowed to work the music player as his special job.

just curious Needabreak.....does the whole school know that the child is adopted and being taken off to avoid photos? - If so I wonder how he will feel about this as he gets older?

(would not not work for us as we are hidden due to what happened in our last school when parents knew and still outed us)

IMO School performances are all about being there for your child, not necessarily seeing the performance. YANBU- I agree mobile phones should be switched off and conversations between adults should not be taking place, food/ photography should be banned. YABU to ask for parents to leave younger siblings at home - you have no idea what their family circumstances are, they may not have a choice. Trying to desperately keep a toddler occupied through a performance is a nightmare. Similarly, YABU about late parents. Some parents are relying on public transport, or having to struggle their way through traffic /finding a parking space after work because they promised they'd be there. I have had so many judgey stares because my train was late and I'm breathing too hard from running down the road.

Boston that sounds like an awful situation for you and your DC. I'd be livid that they are choosing to prioritise other people's minor wants over your DC's safety. Can't see any justification for that at all.

I think that photography and filming should be banned. Maybe with photos taken of individual children taken during a dress rehearsal and made available to parents via the school. We all survived as children without having our every move documented and shared.

Boston - no, I think a few know from knowing the family for a while but it's not made a big deal of, they know to go and take over from the teacher as if it's part of their role in the show at this point rather than anything special. I don't know if the child is even aware as it's not mentioned. I doubt many people even notice. I wish your school supported you more, regardless of reasons. As previously said by others, there are plenty of photo opportunities after and how many people actually do anything with the photos afterwards! My DH was comparing it to people at concerts who spend the entire time filming rather than watching - why do it?

This has been going on since time began. Schools need rules like they have for the kids. Switch your phone off like your told to do in the cinema. Younger children and babies have always caused disruption. I remember when my children were starting school all the DC's mums and a few dads were all in the main hall along with pre school siblings and babies and grannies. Head teacher would begin to tell us about the term ahead and what we would expect. Couldn't hear a word she said for babies and toddlers and mums speaking loudly to them. Why the grannies couldn't have stayed at home with the younger children escapes me.

Nanny....my child is often in the back row at the side with kids sitting in front of him his hats on. I struggle to film him, so I very much doubt a teacher will manage to get him on film....even with panning. And..I suspect it will end up just like photos from school trips...lots of photos of the favourites and none of all the others...

I used to do the videos and the photographs. I got them all...

And I will never understand schools who don't ban parents taking photographs. Do they not have Safeguarding policies?

MooDee12 yes but some parents won't take their kids out if they're crying, look at this thread!
Blanket bans are cruel, but can't say i blame some heads for doing it really!

boston that is so sad! Your poor child! How is it fair they are made to practise for plays they are never going to be in?
It really shocks me that someone could put your child on sm, even when they know your story!

Younger siblings

Perhaps they could ban children entirely.

metspengler,

As I said in an earlier post, my dc's school allowed parents with younger siblings to watch the dress rehearsal, which was oless formal and crowded. They also put the show on for the entire school, so any siblings in the school would see it.

Then the actual performances were 2 tickets per family, secondary school age siblings, and adults only, with extra tickets being shared out if any available (e.g. you could request 4 tickets, and would get them if others took up less than their allocated 2).

With that and post-show photocalls, it worked really well.