Behaviour at school play yesterday

[user1485342611]

We had:

The woman who put her child standing on a chair for a better view, despite the fact they were up near the front, and then stood herself for the remainder of the performance.

The baby who was allowed cry and disrupt the performance several times before the mother took her out

The family who all clattered in late and settled themselves with much scraping of chairs.

The whiny toddler whose parents loudly accommodated him, 'do you want to sit on my lap' 'here's a biscuit' etc

The adults who chatted together when their child wasn't on stage

And the mother who answered two phone calls during the play.

Not to mention the parents holding their phones up in front of everyone to record the whole thing.

Are some adults incapable of showing a bit of cop on and consideration for half a bloody hour?

photos or filming should not be allowed. If my children were in the play then I certainly wouldn't allow it as they are adopted and I don't want pictures or video's of them on facebook etc for their birth parents to find/see if they are friends with one of the parents.
Its a safeguarding issue plain and simple.

To be honest there are idiots like those everywhere. We sat behind a family (clearly grandparents treating grandchildren) at the west end show Matilda. They obviously thought that the squillions they had paid for their seats gave them a behaviour exemption. Talking, wriggling, cardigans on, cardigans off, changing seats, seats up, seats down, constant eating and drinking, and they left the knee high rubbish they had from their theatre picnic for the theatre staff to pick up. The children were aged about 8 or 9 so no excuse, just appalling manners and total inability to understand how to behave in a public space .

Ah, school productions. The very epitome of Hell on Earth - not the performers obviously, but the audience

At one of my dc's school shows, the Lady Mayoress was present and sitting in the front row. She had a large hat on, adorned with many tall quivering feathers (a sort of Pampas grass effect), which somewhat disrupted the view for rather a lot of people sitting behind her...

My school does not allow photography or filming due to safeguarding issues and the fact that some children's parents so did not give consent for their photos to to be taken. Parents can take photos of their children on the stage in costume etc at the end, all schools round here are like this! The adults in this situation are very rude, not so much with the baby and toddler but the other things are - staff should have asked them to stop or leave! Regarding other siblings etc my school also does two performances - one which allows siblings and warns there may be audience noise and babies, and one for adults only. Yadnbu expecting adults not to take their phone calls or have a chat!

YANBU!! That would've driven me mad! I hate rudeness. My dd's school is pretty strict about this stuff and you get a talk about being quiet and taking siblings outside before the play/assembly/etc starts. Not that grown ups should need to be told how to behave properly!

roundtable

I'm perfectly fine. The OP asked if she is being unreasonable. It's hardly argumentative to say yes, I definitely think so.

I said I thought some of the things the OP was picking out were normal, Ceto, so yes.

I don't think they should allow camera phones. It blocks everyone's view and you get shit pictures anywa. A teacher should film and charge a pound for a digital copy by email.

As for toddlers and babies, well they cry. Most every person there will have a second child at some point so just be kind and don't spoil it for everyone by making them leave

YADNBU. So selfish.

Surely it's the other way around Flip. A crying baby spoils it for all the children who have been rehearsing lines and songs for weeks, and for the parents who would like to be able to hear them.

The worst school play I ever went to was a secondary performance when a family of 6 showed up after the show had started, with their McDs dinner, pushed out the 2 children who were sitting in the 2 seats in front of us (not sure where their parents were), took their seats and then stood up with iPads so they could film the whole thing. We were in the second row.
I was with my friend, and her husband was the director so I didnt complain. But I still shake my head at the rudeness.
(I live overseas, this may have not been allowed to happened in the UK). It was insane.

DD was in her school Easter play recently. She had a few lines. I have a bad back and so always sit at the back so I can stand up as needed.
One of the other mums sat slap bang in the middle at the front and recorded every minute of the play with her phone held up in the air. No matter where I stood that damn phone was in my eyeline.
I spoke to a member of staff, who happened to be playing the piano, and they said they were distracted too.
The mother returned to the evening performance apparently and was asked not to film. She was most dischuffed as the evening performance 'might be different'...
I used to be a teacher and I really found the rudeness of parents at performances so hard to deal with.
If a child is noisy or distressed take them out.
Just because your child isn't on stage doesn't make it ok to talk, other parents might not have seen their child speak yet and you'd be mighty pisse doff if your child's speech was interrupted by someone else.
If you must stand up then go to the back or side.

OP YANBU

Youre basically going to punish every older sibling then op. My 5 year old didn't give a shit about whether I could hear him be a gruffalo. He didn't ask for a critique of his performance. He just wanted to see me there. I don't have a baby as mine are all close together but I wouldn't have let him down because of a crying baby so the person next to me could truly immerse themselves in their child's one line as superworm. Sorry.

YANBU.

I despair of the crappy behaviour I saw at our school's recent show. My favourite was a mum who roamed the room taking pictures of her daughter, right up in front of the audience at one point, then went and sat back down in her prime seat and proceeded to blatantly play on her phone for the remainder of the show since her daughter's time on stages was finished.

It's not bloody Shakespear

There are many families where there is only 1 DC and it is not fair on them that their child's performance is spoiled because the parents of other DCs don't make arrangements for younger DCs to be minded outside the performance area or taken out if they become noisy (I would be happy with either option - I am not trying to ban parents of larger families from seeing their DCs performances, just not spoil it for others).

In our school, yes there are many parents with multiple DCs, but there is a sizable minority with only 1 DC and likely to remain at 1. So it's not "most every person there" having a 2nd child.....

I'm bloody irritated just reading this. I hate rudeness. What is wrong with people?

I don't agree Flip. If you allow all younger siblings and babies to cry, shout or run around during the performance you completely ruin what's happening on stage for all of the performers and for the many parents who haven't brought younger siblings with them.
Obviously, if at all possible a parent wants to be in the room when their child is performing. But if it means all the other children and parents lose out, because they can't perform or hear their child over your baby's crying, then basically one child and parent is being facilitated ahead of everyone else.

Of course YANBU OP and it's only entitled yobs who would ever say you were.
Quite telling that the behaviour you describe is seen as "normal" by some people on this thread.

Anyway, I am going to step away from this thread as I think some of the responses to my posts are quite personal given I am not the OP and haven't asked for any insights into how well I do my job or anything else. Not sure I am the one who needs to chill out!

At our nativity one parent put her younger child in the front row wearing these: flashing sole trainers which she had flashing during the performance. The kids on stage were so entranced by the bloody things that they struggled to focus on what they were doing and kept missing lines, being late and generally struggling to keep on track.

Luckily eventually someone told her to turn the bloody things off. Guess what every kid wanted from Santa that year.

@Fliptophead - you do realise that other parents exist, and want to see their child perform too? Your attitude of "I don't care if my child ruins it for everyone else including all the children on stage who have worked so hard' stinks. I'm sure you would be the first to complain if you didn't hear your precious child's performance because of another parent who lets their child ruin the performance.

It may not be Shakespeare (though ds1's Year 6 play was Scenes from Shakespeare), but that doesn't mean that the children and staff haven't worked hard, and don't deserve to have a reasonably quiet atmosphere to perform in, so they can do their best.

And it is thoughtless, entitled parents who have made many schools ban pre-school-age children from school performances.

Ah, the joy. Secondary here. My favourite was the mum who had a year seven in the chorus. I don't think she realised or had been told that. As the performance progressed you could see her pumping up with ire, tutting and spluttering throughout. Interval came, she marched over to the director and harangued her about the casting. Apparently dd should have been female lead, because of her years' of dance and stagecoach. Never mind that she would be playing romantic lead to a year 13 or that actually casting was done in summer term for leads before she started. The head had to swoop in and rescue director. Mum then waited til a quiet dramatic part in second half then loudly left, slamming the door.

At my DD's first Xmas show at her day nursery (she was only 1!) a group of parents came in late, so they put a row of chairs at the front for them to sit

One parent sat with a bloody iPad held up above her head, blocking everyone else's view! So not only did she get to sit in the front row, she had a lovely video.

People are selfish fuckers

You do come across as quite self absorbed Fliptophead. The fact that your child just wants to see you and is not worried about whether his line can be heard, doesn't mean that all the children feel like that. Not to mention the parents who have taken time off work, and the grandparents who have driven several miles, to hear their child/grandchild sing or say their lines. They didn't go to all that trouble to listen to someone else's baby crying throughout the performance.