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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Behaviour at school play yesterday

216 replies

user1485342611 · 31/05/2017 10:51

We had:

The woman who put her child standing on a chair for a better view, despite the fact they were up near the front, and then stood herself for the remainder of the performance.

The baby who was allowed cry and disrupt the performance several times before the mother took her out

The family who all clattered in late and settled themselves with much scraping of chairs.

The whiny toddler whose parents loudly accommodated him, 'do you want to sit on my lap' 'here's a biscuit' etc

The adults who chatted together when their child wasn't on stage

And the mother who answered two phone calls during the play.

Not to mention the parents holding their phones up in front of everyone to record the whole thing.

Are some adults incapable of showing a bit of cop on and consideration for half a bloody hour?

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 31/05/2017 12:50

Yanbu

When dd2 was small I would always get there a bit early to ensure an end seat near an exit so if she started making a fuss I could easily leg it out.

I can easily block out a bit of reasonable noise and certainly don't expect toddlers and babies to be silent but there are limits.

What I find most annoying is the parents. Shut up with the running commentary and waving phones and ipads about in peoples faces .

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 31/05/2017 12:51

I work in a primary school and as PP also said, the Head makes a point of asking restless and noisy babies/toddlers to be taken out, it's very unfair on those children performing not to mention the parents trying to listen.

NotYoda · 31/05/2017 12:54

yanbu

Hell is other people and their lack of thought about anyone else

trifle

You are being contrary

SapphireStrange · 31/05/2017 12:55

I think Trifle was one of the entitled parents.

It's so fucking thoughtless and rude, that kind of behaviour. I wish one of the teachers had had the balls to stop the performance and demand quiet.

Maudlinmaud · 31/05/2017 12:55

It happens. It does. I feel your pain and no it is not fair on the performers.
An adjudicator went crazy at a festival once for these very reasons. Unfortunately it left the air quite stale and also had an impact on the performers. Sometimes you just have to grit your teeth because acting on impulse can make the situation worse.

44PumpLane · 31/05/2017 13:01

I often think it would be a good idea for schools who allow recording of these things to get a parent or teacher with a decent camera to pop it at the back and be official videographer, ban all other recording equipment and thebmake the video privately available to parents to download afterwards.

Or state that if you are recording you MUST be in the back row so you aren't not blocking others view.

BadgersBum · 31/05/2017 13:03

When a parent on the row in front of me decided to film my DS's class Harvest Festival on her big screen phone and block my view a couple of years ago I went full-on petty and sang along with the hymns deliberately loudly and out of tune, then decided to ask my dad about his hemorrhoids (and bless him, he copped onto what I was doing and gave me the full run down).

I gave her the biggest smile every time she turned round. I do hope she enjoyed watching it back!

category12 · 31/05/2017 13:05

Schools should tell everyone to turn off their phones during performances and not allow filming. They can film it themselves and then make it available to or flog it to the parents afterwards. Also allow a specific photo opportunity at the end, so it's planned for.

Gileswithachainsaw · 31/05/2017 13:06

Badger you are awesome Grin

NightWanderer · 31/05/2017 13:07

then as the choir started, one mum said loudly "This is worse than the bleedin' recorders!

Brilliant! That's so funny!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 31/05/2017 13:08

Talking on your phone, talking to other audience members, blocking other people's view somyou can film the play on your mobile, not taking out a screaming baby - as @Trifleorbust says, this may be 'normal' behaviour these days.

But normal and acceptable are not synonymous in this case.

Acceptable behaviour in a live performance does NOT include the sorts of behaviour outlined in the OP - and if it IS the norm nowadays, then that is a bad thing.

Ceto · 31/05/2017 13:13

God, you sound hard work. So what if they put the toddler on their knee?

Here's an idea, Trifle. Read the OP properly before responding to it.

Fidoandacupoftea · 31/05/2017 13:14

There is always someone to ruin it for all. I know it is not going to change but is it asking too much for the adults to shut up and watch the play. Our school provides a kids club during performances and little siblings are not allowed. A parent tried starting a petition to allow the little ones to watch as they are making memories of their own. They had little success Grin

Trifleorbust · 31/05/2017 13:19

No, wasn't being contrary and wasn't there. I just think some of these behaviours are normal.

jamrock · 31/05/2017 13:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MerchantofVenice · 31/05/2017 13:27

I'm really surprised schools allow filming by parents at all. At my daughter's school they say absolutely no photography. You can buy the professional photos, but that's your lot.

SallyGinnamon · 31/05/2017 13:28

YANBU? Used to drive me nuts. An ex friend's young child kept shouting out 'I'm noisy' throughout a Y2 child's solo but despite stares it never occurred to her to take him out.

TheFairyCaravan · 31/05/2017 13:33

No, wasn't being contrary and wasn't there. I just think some of these behaviours are normal.

Normal doesn't mean it's right, and it certainly doesn't make the OP hardwork.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 31/05/2017 13:33

But as I said, @Trifleorbust, normal doesn't mean acceptable, in this case.

Do not it is OK for adults to talk on the phone, or to other audience members, or to let their child scream and not take them out, or to block other people's view in order to film on their mobiles,and thus ruin a performance for the rest of the audience?

What about the children who have worked so hard on their performance - is it really OK to drown them out or to risk putting them off?

I do not think it is. It may be normal, but in my opinion it is also rude, selfish and entitled behaviour.

Ceto · 31/05/2017 13:33

Trifle, you seriously think OP is being "hard work" for disliking the actions of people who stand up obstructing the view for other people, holding conversations during the performance and taking phone calls? And you think that is "perfectly reasonable, normal behaviour"?

user789653241 · 31/05/2017 13:34

Trifleorbust, I start to get a bit disappointed with what you say these days. I used to believe you are a good teacher, not anymore. Sad

Leilaniii · 31/05/2017 13:36

I had the same thing yesterday. And every pic of my DD has the head, arms and phone of the guy in front of us in it.

If it were up to me, I would ban all phones & cameras and take pics with the school camera then sell them for a small amount of money.

roundtable · 31/05/2017 13:42

Trifle are you alright? As in the last few months your replies to most threads seem to be very argumentative for no discernable reason.

Yanbu op - school plays can bring out the worst in parents. On the other side though, most people will be polite and accommodating, it's just that very noisy minority.

jelliebelly · 31/05/2017 13:46

YANBU I would be furious! I've never experienced that level of rudeness at s school play - why is it tolerated!?

Looneytune253 · 31/05/2017 13:50

At least they weren't heckling the kids. I see that once!