To discourage my friend from getting a 'Manchester Bee' tattoo

[CircleofWillis]

My friend is from Manchester but moved to London 25 years ago. She wants to get a bee tattoo to show her support for the people affected by the awful tragedy and to give financial support to the appeal. She doesn't have any tattoos and has previously stated she doesn't like them. AIBU to want to talk her out of it as she may regret such a permanent statement in the future. Instead I want to suggest she think about just donating the money. I know it is her body and her choice but I feel she is being swept up in the emotion as some of her friends from home have posted their tattoos on FB. I don't have any tattoos myself but not because I have any dislike of them but I would hesitate myself before having a permanent reminder of such a sad event on my body.

I'm glad this thread has not descended into the same way as the previous two and there is actual open discussion. The first one made me so upset and angry and so I blatantly Ignored the second one.

"if the posters here are not trying to put on the mantle of someone else's genuine grief then there's no reason for them to feel pricked about this because it's not about them."

Lying this is basically what most, if not all have been saying about the reasoning behind the tattoos, but when people come along and state that its grief hijacking, attention seeking to get one etc then of course people will feel pricked at the generalisation.

I know there is often an unwritten disclaimer of NAM(ancs)ALT but in this context I think a lot of the anger and upset towards those opinions would have been avoided if this was acknowledged earlier rather than later.

I said a few times on the last thread that there will be a few immature wankers who will get them and make a big deal of duck-facing while showing it off on Facebook to get as many thumbs up as possible but tarring everyone with the same brush as some posters have done is the reason why the threads got so heated.

Like Lean Im glad its not gone the way of the others (especially as I was a loner on the last one pretty much!) and that its helped to explain why people are getting them. I think Miss's comment has summed it up perfectly, the terrorist came from us but they weren't one of us, that's what the tattoo signifies, for me anyway.

On 26 May Baktash Noori - a young Muslim man stood on Market Street in Manchester.
He was blindfolded - and he had a sign saying
I am a Muslim. I trust you. Do you trust me enough to give me a hug ?
Sorry I can't do links - but if you go on Youtube he posts under Life of Bako.
Its incredibly moving.
please watch it if you want to see what Proud Mancunian really means.

That made me cry, redshoeblueshoe. Imagine having to go to such lengths to show the people you've always live alongside, that you are no threat to their existence, instead of it being taken as read.

We really have to start looking at the knee-jerk reactions we have and start thinking about them more. To not do that means that swathes of innocent people are swept up in judgements that have nothing to do with them. That's not on.

The way this thread has turned out is lovely.

Thank-you Lying it made me cry too

I like the fact that Hilda has said the tattoo is offensive to the grieving families when some of the grieving families have actually had it done! Cannot be that offensive? Oh and not everyone is having it done or photographing themselves having it done so not everyone is "attention seeking."
At the end of the day it's up to the individual!

I would give him a hug, wouldn't be able to help myself, and I'm not a huggy person.

I'm steeling myself to actually find and watch 'Life of Bako' on youtube.

Thank you, redshoeblueshoe, your post, as well as others, have given me a lot to think about.

I haven't read all the thread so forgive me.
My friends know two of the victims.
My dc knows one of the victims.

Some of the victims families have had bee Tattoos. Lots of their friends do. One of the first thing one of the victims very close friends did on Monday was show me his.

The Manchester tattoo appeal was set up to show solidarity. General Mancunians had them first and when they felt strong enough some victims families did also. No one copied personal memorials of families. The fund has already raised at least 200k.
The families and friends I know aren't offended in the slightest. They are amazed and proud and grateful of how Manchester has come together to support them.

I don't have one so not being biased.

I haven't read most of this thread, read the start and skipped through. Glad to hear that it's ended up being lovely, was a bit sketchy at the start.
I am Mancunian and am booked in to get my bee tattoo on the 15th. I have been wanting to get a new tattoo for a while but wanted something that means something. My sis and Dad are also getting one, my sis will match mine. My dad isn't a manc but has lived here for a very long time and wants to show his solidarity for our city. I don't understand what people can find offensive about that.
That video with the young muslim lad is so moving, brought me to tears watching it in work the other day.

I've had some tattoos done which I regret.... mostly done in my teens ...one of which I'm having removed...
Not one single tattoo I've ever had has had such meaning as the Manchester Bee tattoo.
It's not for EVERYONE to undestand , but those who get it, "get it".
Back off and let your mate do what she feels is right. Nobody says you should get one .

I am from Manchester and I have had a bee tat. It's in a hidden place and I've not posted it online. This hidious attack happened in my city, in a venue that I have been to loads of times... by a train station that I, and many of my loved ones, commute through every day. This isn't fake grief. I didn't know anyone who was at the concert but for people to say i haven't got the right to feel emotional about what happened.. well f@*k you! Not sure how a tattoo that no one other than my fella will ever see will offend victims' families??? Also I'm not sure how the hundreds of thousands of pounds the appeal has raised for the families will offend.... if you don't like tattoos don't have one... if you don't feel sad or emotional about what happened then don't... and you know what if being bitter and hateful and judgemental about other people's emotions gets you off then knock yourself out.