To discourage my friend from getting a 'Manchester Bee' tattoo

[CircleofWillis]

My friend is from Manchester but moved to London 25 years ago. She wants to get a bee tattoo to show her support for the people affected by the awful tragedy and to give financial support to the appeal. She doesn't have any tattoos and has previously stated she doesn't like them. AIBU to want to talk her out of it as she may regret such a permanent statement in the future. Instead I want to suggest she think about just donating the money. I know it is her body and her choice but I feel she is being swept up in the emotion as some of her friends from home have posted their tattoos on FB. I don't have any tattoos myself but not because I have any dislike of them but I would hesitate myself before having a permanent reminder of such a sad event on my body.

They're a part of a public performance piece.

What, all of them? Even those who get them discreetly? Those who don't post their intention over social media?

For the record, faux grief is far from what most people who've gotten the tattoo are feeling. Everyone I know who has gotten it feels pride and unity. I'm not considering it because of grief. I'm not grieving. Nor will I be parading it everywhere.

I think the minority are thinking that those who get the tattoos are going to be showing all and sundry when the reality is while a few dicks will Facebooktastic them to get 50 crappy likes, the rest will just quietly have them on their back, shoulder, ankle etc mostly covered up, maybe seen on a night out or whatever.

They have raised a staggering amount anyway, there can't be any negatives about that.

If pointing out that idiots tattooing themselves in a mass of public hysteria makes me a knob in their view, then that's fine. They still are what they are. Most people I know are also 'knobs' curling their lips in disdain... Thankfully I live around lucid people who aren't whipped into a frenzy of pretend emotion by the media.

It's disturbing to watch. People are so easily manipulated and led by manipulated emotions.

It's not grief for me. I'm not wailing in public
My job is to deal with tragedy and events like this, as well as the smaller things. My work colleagues were there, my entire workplace was involved in one way or another
I can't give blood and I couldn't go into work but I can donate £50 to go to the families and also get the tattoo I was always going to get after I've just have life changing surgery this month (I wanted a new tattoo after it)
I don't look at it and see grief and terrorism, I see Manchester and unity and strength and my colleagues doing a damn amazing job. My parents are Manchester, the majority of my family and friends are. It's a place I spend time in, it's a community that I am part of because I work to help it every single day for the past decade

Cross posted. It's certainly not pretend emotion and hysteria from the press for me. It isn't for my colleagues either, it's real. Even if they weren't related to people involved, they were hearing it on the end of the phone, giving life saving advice, giving treatment at the scene

Thankfully I live around lucid people who aren't whipped into a frenzy of pretend emotion by the media.

None of them lucid enough to tell you that you don't get to speak for the bereaved families though, eh hilda? Shame.

Call it what you will. You're tattooing a gimmick onto your body so you can be a part of something. That's absurd and pathetic no matter what you call it.

Christ, don't get a fucking bee tattoo if you didn't lose a loved one. What's the matter with people 😩

See which is more distasteful - someone getting a tattoo and raising money for a good cause or someone calling people "idiots" and dismissing very real emotions.

Of cause Hilda you might know everyone who has got one of these tattoos so far and can confirm they're merely doing it for attention in which case I will of course wholeheartedly apologise.

Or maybe its better to assume that people have differing motives for doing things but dismissing everyone as having "pretend emotion" is puerile.

A lot of bereaved families and victims are offended by it. Just as some are joining the public performance because now they get to star in a role!!!

Those in Manchester who experienced the tragedy second hand via the media

many of us who weren't close enough to experience the attack spent the next day shell shocked and having to force ourselves to go about our lives amid the chaos. Some of us discovered later that day that we'd been going to university with a terrorist. Some found out they'd encountered him earlier. Thousands experienced evacuations. This isn't an event that hurt only those who were there. It was very close to home. The attacker didn't target those specific victims. It could have been anyone.

Not sure why you give two fucks tbh

Tattoos are awful and make you look like a Chav. The Manchester bombings were terrible but two wrongs don't make a right.

But it's her body at the end of the day.

I havent seen anyone or any reports of anyone wailing or being involved in a public hysteria. If people genuinely think thats whats happening then I can understand some of the rather extreme views to a point. But thats not whats happening.

One local tattoo parlour came up with the idea of donating their time and for people to donate their money to help raise money for the victims and their families and more have tagged on to the great idea. No hysteria or anything.

I have to say Ive never been prouder to be a Manc than I have recently. I think the tats are a sign of dignified defiance and unity and support for the victims. That has always been the intention and the idea behind them.

Call it what you will. You're tattooing a gimmick onto your body so you can be a part of something. That's absurd and pathetic no matter what you call it.

Is that also true of people who were bereaved who've had them done, then? Enquiring minds want to know.

Tattoos are awful and make you look like a Chav

Tattoo thread bingo

Hopefully people won't also be shitty in RL to people who also had the bee before this... It was a popular tattoo previously and I have a bee as part of another tattoo on my thigh, done in 2014

Seriosuly. Fuck off hilda.

Why should I fuck off? I'm not going to be shouted down. I'm not shouting anyone else down.

You're insulting people......or is that ok?

There is a Manchester Bee necklace too - maybe your fri no would like one of these instead?

£3.50 of the price goes to the fundraising appeal (the rest is for materials, according to the listing).

Why should I fuck off?

Because you think you're entitled to speak for a group of people, some of whom have made it clear from their thoughts and actions that they don't agree with you.

I'm not going to be shouted down.

Fine. But there's having an opinion and then there's being a dick about it. Your opinion really isn't important enough for you to be actively disrespecting so many people's experiences and declaring bee tattoos as performance pieces, hysteria, faux grief and every other misrepresentation you've thrown at it.

You are being very nasty. You can argue against someone's opinion but ultimately it will have nothing to do with you. Your comments are awful and very condescending. I respectfully ask you to shut up and get off your high horse!

My daughter has a heart condition. Her heart when she was born was very fast. I plan on getting a heart with a fast heart trace tattooed into me. Yes it may seek attention seeking but in all honesty it's a sign of what my child has and will continue to battle through and if she ever has to leave us I will have something with me for comfort. Judge away but loads of people get heart tattoos because they know someone or feel strongly about the case. I know a nurse who worked on a heart ward who had a heart trace behind her ear and a few others had heart trace tattoos also. None of them are physically affected by heart conditions but still show their support. Maybe you could try being supportive instead of superior hilda.

Sorry for derailing.