To formula feed baby despite OH's objections.

[Herbie22]

DD is 5 weeks old and exclusively breast fed. I am finding this tough because she is either on the boob or upset.
This is my first baby so I'm not sure what I am doing. I think she might not be getting enough from me as she needs near constant feeds. I would like to top her up with formula as I literally do nothing all day/night but feed her. I know that it's hard work a newborn but I can't even walk down the road to the shops without her screaming. I don't get to see anyone and it is making me sad and lonely.

I tried to speak to OH about this and he said that he doesn't want her on formula. He said that I am making enough milk because she is gaining weight. I don't think she is gaining it fast enough though which worries me.
I also wonder if she would sleep better if she was formula fed. I am up nearly all night feeding her at the moment which is another reason I think I'm not producing enough milk as she won't settle.
I don't want to give up BF completely. Maybe just supplement her feeding but at the moment I feel like I've lost all my zest for life because all I do is sit either on the sofa or on my bed feeding. It is also damaging my relationship with OH as we can't even have dinner without DD wanting to be fed (though I do feed her just before) and I'm starting to resent him getting to do things, even popping to Tesco, without a baby attached to him.
I know I sound horribly ungrateful as I am so blessed to have DD! I just want to be able to do things other than feed her!

Yes, that sort of comment will really help the OP, and breastfeeding rates.

For your information, topping up a baby who feeds for the length of time the OP describes with formula need not lead to a reduced supply (though you do have to think about when you'll express and how). That formula top up could give you the vital hour to rest that will allow you to keep on breastfeeding.

What certainly doesn't help is making sadfaces about a woman who's not happy her husband is bullying her.

Op, theres so many posts here, in the off-chance you are reading them please don't feel guilty if you give a few bottles of formula.

I have exclusively breast fed my daughter since 1 month of age, before then she had three bottles of formula. She had those three bottles because I was about to give up. I hadn't slept for more than an hour at a time for three weeks. I hated breast feeding, i hated myself for not wanting to do it anymore and I was beginning to hate my daughter. I wished I had never had her.

My husband sugessted a bottle of formula, took her off me and fed her. I had a shower and went to bed for three whole hours! It was amazing, when I woke up I had the strength to continue. In the next week she had two other bottles, one again so I could sleep and one where I had my hair cut - I know it sounds so vain but leaving the house on my own and having some time to myself was so good.

Since then I have breastfed her , and it has slowly got better and now I love it, its easy and practical and we have lovely milky cuddles.

I know that those three formula bottles were not ideal but the other choice was poor as well, I needed a break and to sleep. I couldnt continue as I was. I guess before formula was invented maybe mothers got a break by leaving baby to cry but I couldn't do that either. Formula top ups saved my breastfeeding relationship.

You have done brilliantly, you ARE doing brilliantly.

I have an 11 month old, my DH was very pro me breastfeeding. I have also had anxiety and depression in the past. I was worried that being exhausted through the demands of breastfeeding would bring it back and I would end up with postnatal depression.

In the end 7 days being out of it in hospital due to post delivery pre-eclampsia meant I had to give formula at times.

I combi-fed him for 8 months, breastfeeding in the day and then formula at night of breast if I was up to it. My son was ravenous and didnt have any preference where his food came from. There was no issue of nipple confusion, he just wanted milk in and shape or form. I found that expressing to keep up supply worked for me. I hired a breastpump from Ardo,

www.ardobreastpumps.co.uk/breastpump-hire/carum-breastpump-hire?gclid=CjwKEAjw07nJBRDG_tvshefHhWQSJABRcE-ZEiW4I-AgznlTAgM6tZTGzIVt8iFAYTy1T73rZfYVuRoCey_w_wcB

They courier to your door within 24 hours.

Quite frankly your DH needs to support both you and your DD at this time and that is a much broader issue than whether her nourishment comes through a nipple or a bottle. Everyone has their opinion on breast v bottle but you have to look after your DD and that means looking after YOURSELF, physically and mentally.

Combination feeding is a good option. You get some of the benefits of breastfeeding and some of the benefits of bottle feeding. I breastfed 3 babies and gave a bottle of formula from the start. I gave the bottle at roughly the same time every day - when I felt I was most in need of a break. It didn't mean my supply dried up - I just didn't produce as much milk at that particular time of day. The baby was used to the bottle so if I needed to go somewhere for the day they could have a few extra bottles that day.

OP it's up to you entirely... I hope your DH is coming from a good place and not trying to control you.

I will say however that it could be normal cluster feeding, or it could be a sign of allergy or tongue tie as pps have said, and if it is an allergy (CMPA) normal formula would make your baby's symptoms worse. So it may be worth looking into that before deciding on switching or not.

I'd also say that after the initial 2 months or so bfing can be brilliant - so convenient to have milk at right temperature and amounts on tap, helped me lose weight, good excuse to sit on sofa, excellent comfort when they're ill or teething... honestly not sure what I'd have done without it.

OP have you heard of the Fourth Trimester? m.huffpost.com/uk/entry/9607642

People here are missing the point to make their own arguments. As I said, I have a close friend who switched to formula because she was advised it would help the baby's sleep. It did NOT. She now regrets giving up in BF and always comments to me how well I did to BF for more than a year. I worked and did all nighttime feeds and expressed. I am not a super woman I just committed to doing it.

I know another mother who gave up BF for "not enough milk" but as she met others like me who did it through much more challenging circumstances she started to question. She's had her second now and says she is a "milk machine" and this baby is fat and happy on no formula. She got help and advice in advance. She is happier too.

Formula is seen by some as a quick fix to "mummy is tired/nipples hurt/want daddy to feed at night" but if OP or any mum believes breast is best - switching will lead to regret. Because I've seen it.

Good luck OP

Hope you are doing ok OP

I personally believe that fed is best

Do whatever suits you and your baby best

Try to enjoy your time with your LO, it passes by so quickly

If switching to formula helps you cope better with everything and allows your partner to take more of an active role in caring for the baby, then do it.

Try not to listen to those out there who say you will regret this or that, blah blah

If YOU are happy to add in formula feeds while continuing to BF, then crack on and never mind what anyone else thinks

Because at the end of the end you are doing what is right for you and your baby and it is nobody else's business

PS you're probably starting to realise that having a tiny baby means that everyone seems to have an opinion on how you should do this, that and the other...I found it helpful to listen to others and then just get on with what was right for me

Ok, dork. It was just how I read it.

I do think it's much less clear-cut than some people are suggesting, and I think turning things into an ideological battleground doesn't help.

Hello All.
Had a really tough day today following a tough night. My poor DF had to rush here from golf to come see me , not that he could do anything to help apart from comfort me!
DD has been hysterical apart from when she is on the boob. I took her for a walk into town to try and get some fresh air but she was so so upset. Got lots of really helpful comments about it as well .
I've told DH that she will be having a formula feed at some point just trying to work out which feed would be best to replace. We already have all the equipment as he is pretty happy to tell family/HCPs "Herbie can stop BFing whenever she wants" 😐

Maybe the night feed?

But if she's crying that much, could she be in pain?

Oh, poor you and poor DD.

Your OH really needs to fuck off with the unhelpful comments. If she's inconsolable for him, he needs to step up and learn what works. It's so hot at the moment, no wonder she's in a state.

Maybe. I'm useless with babies. She's the only baby I've ever known! My mum is at work so I don't really have anyone to ask. It's very hot here? Could that be the reason?

Are you over dressing her? :)

Would she take some water? Although breastfed babies shouldn't need water, but she may be more thirsty than hungry, yes.

Of course you're not useless with babies! It's just in their natures to scream a lot. If she were seriously out of sorts, she wouldn't be doing it (I know about this one, because DD was quite ill when she was born and, bizarrely, the sound of furious tears is actually quite welcome at times!).

DD's just wearing a little sleeveless vest most of the time here. They suffer more from being too hot than too cold, so you can err on that side. If her feet and hands feel cool/cold, that's not a bad thing. If she feels at all clammy, she's too hot.

She's just got a little playsuit on. It's like shorts and a little sleeveless top. Thank you though, Lweji . I will try her with some water.
My DF has taken her for a walk try and help her drift off. I think she is over tired now

Silent reflux maybe? Does she cry at all when feeding-kind of take a bit of milk, then cry?

If there's a chance of that then the dummy is well worth persisting with as it forces them to produce saliva which helps to neutralise the acid. Feeding my DD when she had it became an impressive juggling act - give her milk (bottle) until she started to cry then do a rapid swap to the dummy. Let her suck the dummy, she'd calm down then eventually start to whinge again once the acid subsided enough for her hunger to win. Switch back to bottle...repeat until she'd had a proper feed.

It was a pita to do but she did go a decent time between feeds, but the dummy was essential. She liked to suck non stop.

Good for your DF. Now this is the sort of thing your OH could and should do!

I believe its dangerous to give water at that age, please check before you do so!

Woah!!! Too much water can be dangerous for newborns. OP please discuss your plans with a qualified health professional or do your own research for advice published on a trusted site. Although people on forums might mean well they are not reliable sources.

Has she got reflux OP? Silent reflux? Have you tried tilting her up when she's asleep, raising her bed so she's not flat and keeping her upright after a feed. My eldest had reflux due to a CMPA, he was utterly miserable until we got it diagnosed and medication.

The consistency of breastmilk will change according to the time of day/weather - so there's no need to give water.

When my breast fed baby was between 4-6 weeks he was unbearable in that he cried all the time and wanted to feed constantly, it was like he was never off the breast. My HV told me to get him assessed for silent reflux as she felt his behaviour indicated he was in pain and that the reason they want to feed all the time is because the breast milk neutralises the acid in their stomach, nothing to do with them feeling hungry or not.

Anyway, I saw the GP who agreed it sounded like silent reflux and prescribed Ranitidine which we started straight away and within 48 hours he was like a different baby. The relentless crying stopped and his feeding pattern really settled.

If your baby is suffering from pain/stomach issues then introducing formula is likely to make things worse so I would seek a professional opinion first just to rule out reflux.

You may try and get fobbed off with Gaviscon but explain you're breast feeding and would like Ranitidine.

And as has been said, breast fed babies do not need water.

I'm sorry if any of this has already been said - I've only quickly skim read the thread. Much of what has been said is true - bf is hard (it's certainly one of the hardest things I've ever done). It does get easier as they get older, but can be all encompassing for the first few weeks. Young babies use it for comfort as well as food, which may explain why she constantly wants to feed - she may also be doing it to try and put herself to sleep as well.

If your Dh wants you to bf, then he has to support you to do that. That means bringing you food and drink. It means changing nappies and it means taking the baby away from you for an hour or two at night and trying to settle her so that you can get a bit of sleep - and also during the day and perhaps giving her a bottle of expressed milk sometimes. It means not making snippy comments like "Mummy doesn't like you anymore".

At the end of the day, they're your boobs and therefore it's your decision. Good luck whatever you decide to do