To formula feed baby despite OH's objections.

[Herbie22]

DD is 5 weeks old and exclusively breast fed. I am finding this tough because she is either on the boob or upset.
This is my first baby so I'm not sure what I am doing. I think she might not be getting enough from me as she needs near constant feeds. I would like to top her up with formula as I literally do nothing all day/night but feed her. I know that it's hard work a newborn but I can't even walk down the road to the shops without her screaming. I don't get to see anyone and it is making me sad and lonely.

I tried to speak to OH about this and he said that he doesn't want her on formula. He said that I am making enough milk because she is gaining weight. I don't think she is gaining it fast enough though which worries me.
I also wonder if she would sleep better if she was formula fed. I am up nearly all night feeding her at the moment which is another reason I think I'm not producing enough milk as she won't settle.
I don't want to give up BF completely. Maybe just supplement her feeding but at the moment I feel like I've lost all my zest for life because all I do is sit either on the sofa or on my bed feeding. It is also damaging my relationship with OH as we can't even have dinner without DD wanting to be fed (though I do feed her just before) and I'm starting to resent him getting to do things, even popping to Tesco, without a baby attached to him.
I know I sound horribly ungrateful as I am so blessed to have DD! I just want to be able to do things other than feed her!

gamerchick

I think you are overstating that a bit.

Two generations of people in my family, fed formula, with happy lives, good health and high academic attainment have achieved more than being 'kept alive'

And if you think that's because of many factors, I'd totally agree with you. And that's the point. Breast milk is one of many many factors and in the long run it's a very small influence to an individual's life.

Guff like that statement you just made is so alienating to many people

Formula kept my baby alive and helps her thrive today at almost two and will for more years to come. It isn't just "ok" its amazing. My child is now classed as perfectly normal and healthy, so thank you formula for helping to keep my child alive.

Formula is great but I suspect most of us if given the choice at Starbucks between a latte with fresh milk and one with powder reconstituted would think the latter was inferior. Fresh human breast milk is better than processed powder from a factory. But both are suitable for growing babies. Saying one is best doesn't mean the other is bad.

Talk about overstating the case. Just like breastfed babies, formula fed babies thrive - they don't just survive until you can start weaning them and make up for the nasty evil formula.

gamerchick you should be absolutely ashamed of yourself spouting such bollocks

Babies on formula thrive just like babies on breast milk thrive.

Looks like this thread is going downhill

Where abouts are you OP? Perhaps someone could recommend a lactation consultant close to you.
Also, do you have any support other than your husband? I noticed up thread you said that he passes the baby back to you when she cries so you can feed her. She may not be hungry every time! Can he try burping, walking around with her, bouncing her gently, singing to her, rocking her etc?
I have found it best if someone other than Mummy tries the above because sometimes with the smell of milk so close by that is all they want to do!

Formula is just ok for babies. It keeps them alive until other methods of feeding can be used.

Unhelpful melodramatic shit.

you should be absolutely ashamed of yourself spouting such bollocks
This is exactly my point, that even though BF has never been proven by science to be better than FF, people still come out with rubbish like this.

Lactation advice and support:

Breastfeeding Network
Association of Breastfeeding Mothers
National Childbirth Trust

I totally loved the support I got from BfN and NCT, both face-to-face and on the phone. ABM I only know by repute.

If you go to breastfeeding cafe, make sure that it is supported or run by one of these organisations. HVs and midwives, with all the best will in the world, just do not have the specific training and expertise that the volunteers from these charities have.

There's also La Leche League, but I have a feeling that they may be less supportive of mix d feeding or transitioning to ff.

As someone who has mix-fed, formula-fed and exclusively breastfed, and was a trained breastfeeding supporter 10 years ago, I am in no way saying you must breastfeed. I'm saying be sure that you make the decision that is right for you and your baby. If you investigate the support available, still feel unhappy and still want to change to ff - 100% go ahead, comfortable in the knowledge that you are doing the best for your baby.

There is more than enough ne way to do the best for your baby!

Argh! More than one way.

OP I don't think I made my messages last night very clear -

Have you had your baby checked for reflux/silent reflux or milk allergies? TTs need to be checked by a lactation consultant as particularly posterior TT are notoriously hard to diagnose but cause no end of feeding difficulties. They also contribute to colic because the baby swallows too much air from a crap latch so they get trapped wind

Brick I'm in east Norfolk. I am very lucky to have lots of support around me. Everyone (but DH) is happy with whatever decision I decide and just share with me their experiences to help me but wouldn't tell me what to do.
Thanks everyone for the resources posted I will check them out this afternoon :-)

This is exactly my point, that even though BF has never been proven by science to be better than FF, people still come out with rubbish like this

Whatever your personal opinions, that's just not true.
There is no argument that breastmilk is not superior to formula; even formula companies concede this truth.
Human breastmilk has been proven beyond ANY doubt to be the best and most suitable food for human babies. Milk from other animal species does not compare in scientific analysis of the benefits.

Formula is a perfectly acceptable and in many cases much-needed food for babies. But please don't peddle the untruth that it is as good as human breastmilk.

This is a tough time for a new baby but it sounds like you are assuming she's hungry every time she cries - babies cry for all kinds of reasons - it's how they communicate after all. Switching to formula won't alter that. One she is fed/winded/changed can't dh take her out for an hour rather than giving her back because she's crying?

Your breasts your business, however it all sounds very normal for a small baby.

NotYoda writes:

*Neutrogena

That one's been answered many times*

Sorry, I imagine it has. Which post number was it? Saves me reading hundreds of unrelated posts.

Should he get an equal say on what his partner does with her boobs, though, @Neutrogena*? Because that's the problem here - the OP's partner wants her to go on doing something that he can't do at all, so can't help with directly, that is leaving her exhausted and unable to detach the baby from her boobs for long enough to get a shower.

That, to me, makes it different to him expecting to have an equal say on discipline, or schooling, or diet post-weaning.*

If his partner wanted to get a tattoo, or piece her boobs, of course not. He doesn't get a say.
This isn't about boobs though - it's about how his child receives nutrition.
I'm not saying that he should have an equal say as the mother, just that he should have A say and it should be heard.

I agree. He will never et a choice or say in the matter but at least let his opinion be heard. It's his child just as much as the op.

I suggest sitting him down and explaining exactly how you feel and ways you can work to make life easier. Even tell him about my little girl who is on formula and despite her health issues she has shocked doctors by being so healthy when it comes to getting ill etc it doesn't last long and she has had a heart transplant.

I think his voice should be heard but ultimately he doesn't get a say but may be put at ease if he knows how his partner is feeling.

Also op don't put her on the breast every time she cries try as many other things as you can first.

Neutrogena

I know. Boring keeping up with the conversation, then butting in at the and and asking everyone to repeat what's already been said

Neutrogena

Oh, and then when someone is kind enough to fill you in, you then repeat what very very many people have already said

Whilst it's proven that breastmilk is best as it is what we are designed to consume, there is no way, that a baby on formula is going to be hindered by formula. My 3 year old was breastfed for 24 hours and then formula fed until 15 months. She is way above average in her speech and language development and has always been way ahead of her milestones. My 6 month old is entirely breastfed (bar a bottle of formula once a week or so when I go to the gym) and is fairly average/behind on her milestones.

The breastmilk vs formula debate is ridiculous. Feed your baby how you see fit.

And no. Just because it is his baby, he doesn't get a say in OP deciding whether to breastfeed or not.

No more than my partner got any say in my birth plan as I was the one pushing the human out!

If YOU don't want to breast feed OP then don't. Don't ever, ever let your husband bully you into doing something with YOUR body that isn't right for YOU.