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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he should be clear?

78 replies

DHcanbeabitofatwat · 29/05/2017 08:17

Dh has been on a diet for ages, every week he requests 'just chicken/steak/fish, green veg and eggs'

Every week he mopes around because all he has is chicken, green veg and eggs. Every week I throw out uneaten veg.

This week he has requested fish. Simply fish, no specifics in to how much or what type.
There's a whole fucking ocean out there, would it kill him to be specific?

He comes out with the phrase 'why is it all my other friends wives do a quick bit of research in to the diet and buy it for them?' and I want to punch him in the face.

Aibu to think if you are on a specific diet and not buying your own food you should be specific with the person buying it?

OP posts:
Original poster
DHcanbeabitofatwat · 29/05/2017 08:20

Reading it back I think it might just be me overreacting...
So as not to drip feed I'm not in the happiest of moods as we've not been very close recently and he forgot our anniversary today, even after being reminded a couple of times this month by me and again by his parents.
He owns his own business ffs. He's more than capable.

OP posts:
ChasedByBees · 29/05/2017 08:21

He comes out with the phrase 'why is it all my other friends wives do a quick bit of research in to the diet and buy it for them?' and I want to punch him in the face.

I would punch him in the face for that comment too. So not only do you have to prepare things for his chosen diet but you have to become an expert in the nutritional requirements of it too?

Does he often push his 'work' onto you? Have you read this?

english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/

ifyoulikepinacolada · 29/05/2017 08:21

Yanbu at all! Why can't he tell you?!

Trifleorbust · 29/05/2017 08:21

Erm...

Get him a TARDIS? He can boogie back to the 50s.

MrsDc7 · 29/05/2017 08:22

My husband does that Grin he asks for 'something healthy' but doesn't get more specific... we're a healthy family anyway so not remotely helpful. I sympathise. Maybe a week of kippers would encourage him to be a bit more specific?

Hassled · 29/05/2017 08:23

No you're not over-reacting. If he wants to follow a specific diet fair enough but then he puts some work in - he researches recipes and comes up with specific ideas. Is there a very good reason why he can't step foot in a supermarket or so some online shopping himself? And the forgetting the anniversary is crap when it clearly matters to you and he's had reminders.

Justanothernameonthepage · 29/05/2017 08:26

That would leave me letting him do the entire food shop for a month, as well as letting him research a meal plan for the whole family. He's sloping off his mental work to you. But yes, if you're on a special diet, then normally, your the one who does the research and the organising of meals. Unless you're under 12.

MuddyMoose · 29/05/2017 08:26

YANBU. My partner is on a bit of a health kick at the moment & he either buys his own foods or let's me know what he's currently eating. He would never tell me I should "google & research"!

If he wants to eat a particular way then he should be suggesting what he wants. Cook him a fry-up. Give him a real reason to complain about his food!

Original poster
DHcanbeabitofatwat · 29/05/2017 08:28

Well I'm glad it's not just me as he certainly makes me feel like it is.
I don't care what his friends wives do, they are not us.

Now he has requested salmon (2 fillets per meal Shock)but will also ask me to try and keep the food bill down. It's honestly like he's living on a different planet recently.

OP posts:
ClopySow · 29/05/2017 08:29

Laughing at a week of kippers.

Or a week of timmed sardines?

Trifleorbust · 29/05/2017 08:33

OP, why isn't he cooking these healthy meals?

Original poster
DHcanbeabitofatwat · 29/05/2017 08:39

Because he works Trifle Hmm
Apparently if you work then you don't have to do anything else.

OP posts:
Vroomster · 29/05/2017 08:42

I'd be telling him to plan his own bloody meals if he wants specific things.

And I take it you sit on your arse OP. 🙄 Your DH sounds like a dick.

Trifleorbust · 29/05/2017 08:42

Then there's your problem.

nancy75 · 29/05/2017 08:43

Buy him roll mops, they're fish and he will never ask you to get him anything again

Dishwashersaurous · 29/05/2017 08:44

Just don't cook for him.

I don't know what you want to eat, so didn't cook for you.

SimbaTheLion · 29/05/2017 08:45

Apologise profusely for being unable to fulfil his high expections and for failing in your wifely duties and suggest he does his own food shopping as it obviously requires level of expertise which you lack. Try to do it with a straight face and in a sincere way.

You will be preparing a family meal every evening. If he doesn't want that he can shop and cook for himself!

TheFifthKey · 29/05/2017 08:46

God I used to hate it when exH would go on a diet. He'd pronounce "we need to eat more healthily" and make salads and stir fries (I hate stir fry) - I am not and never have been overweight, my meals are always healthy and balanced, the problem was he ate huge quantities of junk food like biscuits. I'd spend the whole time fucking starving, filling up furtively on other stuff and having to listen to him tell me how much he'd lost every day. In the end I let him just make his own meals, but it's a disconnected way to live. Honestly, the grips and moaning about his health, weight and fitness drove me insane, it really was like it was my problem to sort out and anything that want working was due to me not doing enough. I managed to deal with my own weight and fitness without his help, though...

expatinscotland · 29/05/2017 08:48

'It's not the 1950s. Working is not a get out of life free card. I don't care what other people's Stepford wives do. I'm not running a restaurant. If you want to do a diet you cook your own food and buy it, too. Then you'll see how expensive it is.'

But there will be posts on here about how you can find cheap salmon and how you can cater to this person because he works.

Boulshired · 29/05/2017 08:49

The diet is not his problem, his whole attitude is.

DameDeDoubtance · 29/05/2017 08:50

By him a book called Wifework, make sure he reads it. You do not have to do his thinking for him, that's not your job.

Original poster
DHcanbeabitofatwat · 29/05/2017 08:52

You are right Boulshired.
He's up his own arse recently. I will buy his food but he'll have to cope with mostly frozen fish and cook it himself. I find it hard enough finding meals that me and the kids can eat together when the youngest is so fussy.

OP posts:
Phoebefromfriends · 29/05/2017 08:54

It doesn't sound like he's loosing weight more loosing his sense of reality. Two salmon fillets per meal is expensive. Refuse to do it and suggest he cooks for himself if he's so bothered. Are you a SAHM?

YetAnotherSpartacus · 29/05/2017 08:55

I keep thinking of the fish slapping dance from Python.

Sorry OP - he does sound like a bellend.

chickenowner · 29/05/2017 08:57

That comment about 'other friend's wives' would have me considering walking out of the door and never coming back!