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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he should be clear?

78 replies

DHcanbeabitofatwat · 29/05/2017 08:17

Dh has been on a diet for ages, every week he requests 'just chicken/steak/fish, green veg and eggs'

Every week he mopes around because all he has is chicken, green veg and eggs. Every week I throw out uneaten veg.

This week he has requested fish. Simply fish, no specifics in to how much or what type.
There's a whole fucking ocean out there, would it kill him to be specific?

He comes out with the phrase 'why is it all my other friends wives do a quick bit of research in to the diet and buy it for them?' and I want to punch him in the face.

Aibu to think if you are on a specific diet and not buying your own food you should be specific with the person buying it?

OP posts:
Daddystepdaddy · 29/05/2017 09:58

Sounds like he needs a slap (not literally of course!). When I went on a diet DW was clear that I was responsible for cooking my own food as she had enough to do for the kids without making special meals for me. Quite right.

PoorYorick · 29/05/2017 10:02

and can only think about how he will cope not having me at home.

Someone call this guy a whaaaaaambulance.

Loopytiles · 29/05/2017 10:09

I would not want to SAH with a DH with these attitudes and behaviours: you say he's unsupportive about your wishes to return to work too. After that comment I wouldn't be shopping for him at all, or cooking (other than the family meal) and would increase efforts at job and childcare seekingz

SleepFreeZone · 29/05/2017 10:15

This guy needs to read the Deliveroo thread and get his specialised food delivered!!

RB68 · 29/05/2017 10:16

This is like me - I want to go back on that diet we were on he says - OK I say and do appropriate shopping. Then I get moaned at, no crisps, chocolate, biscuits, cakes and he refuses to read up on said diet and understand that its not just the meals he eats but the in between stuff, he can't go round eating a kilo of nuts a week etc. Its meant to be a small handful for one snack a day. Drives me potty and I am refusing to partake in the rubbish now.

I have to admit the kippers for a week made me laugh properly

Hulder · 29/05/2017 10:17

Won't lose a lot of weight with 2 salmon fillets per meal.

Moaning you don't research his diet is just a nice way for him to blame you for his diet failure - rather than the fact he's bloody doing it wrong.

Dieting properly and successfully is a lot of effort don't I fucking know You don't just tell the cook to put you on a diet of 'healthy stuff' and then moan at them for food waste and failure to lose weight.

If you aren't cooking yourself then you sit down together as a team and work out how it is going to work with the food budget, eating as a family, working out your meal plans etc.

What you don't do is announce you'll have 2 salmon fillets a night and miraculously lose weight and cut the food budget Angry

RandomMess · 29/05/2017 10:22

Go back to work and tell him ALL the food shopping and cooking is now his responsibility!

Birdsgottaf1y · 29/05/2017 10:25

Are you sure that nothing else is going on?

Whenever my friends (i'm 50) DH's started to come out with stuff like "my friends wives manage it", it was because they had a sympathetic ear telling them what they wanted to hear.

Couple that with him not acknowledging your Anniversary, being very selfish lately and wanting you to spend less, something bigger than the size of his arse is going on.

alreadytaken · 29/05/2017 10:29

Tell him the only diet he needs is this - and he should be eating those veg www.webmd.com/food-recipes/news/20090323/7-rules-for-eating#1

Agerbilatemycardigan · 29/05/2017 10:53

One of the many reasons that I'm glad to be single Grin

MikeUniformMike · 29/05/2017 11:07

OP, Are you this man's spouse, mother or housekeeper?

Clarabell33 · 29/05/2017 11:09

If DH wants something not on our normal shopping list, he has to write it down for me - text, on fridge, wherever, but he knows if it's not in writing, it didn't happen. If he wants a particular product/brand, he needs to specify that too otherwise I'll choose whatever is best value. That said, if he decides to go on a diet (does so periodically) then he goes and buys what he wants and still leaves me to buy all the rest of the shopping but that's a different rant

So yes, I too would punch him in the face, or perhaps more satisfyingly, buy a nice large whole (not gutted) fish and slap him with that.

kittybiscuits · 29/05/2017 11:09

'I think it would be best if you did your own food shopping'

honeylulu · 29/05/2017 12:55

He sounds awful and he should definitely be doing SOME of the cooking. He gets days off work. When's your day off?
I find the worst bit of cooking (which we share) is deciding on the meals! If he's lucky enough to be cooked for he can at least help with that.
I am doing a similar diet/fitness plan and I
love the Lean in 15 books. If I can't decide I ask my husband and son to each pick a couple of recipes and Ill cook those. They are really quick which is a bonus.

troodiedoo · 29/05/2017 13:01

Tell him all your friends husbands do their own meal prep on a Sunday and instagram the results and include their macros in the hashtags.

gamerwidow · 29/05/2017 13:12

I wouldn't mind buying special food for a diet for my DH but he'd would have to write a shopping list himself. There's no way I would be spending my time trying to work out what food he wants to eat.

maddening · 29/05/2017 13:28

Why do all the other husbands remember their anniversaries and manage to act like adults and sort their own fucking diets

Anothernewnn · 29/05/2017 13:28

That's too much protein for one meal. What sort of crazy dad diet is he on?

Anothernewnn · 29/05/2017 13:28

Fad not dad

Parker231 · 29/05/2017 13:39

If he wants a special diet, he should be sorting out the shopping and cooking for himself. Why are you getting annoyed over something easy to resolve?

Unicorn81 · 29/05/2017 14:09

Tell him to stop acting like a child and take control of his own diet. He can research recipes and food he wants.

TrinityTaylor · 29/05/2017 14:12

Op is the diet a new thing or is he a gym/protein addict type person? I know these really high protein Atkins type diets can cause real problems with irritability etc

PrimalLass · 29/05/2017 14:18

Are you sure that nothing else is going on?

That was my first thought too. Sorry, OP. If I were you I'd be doing some snooping.

JennyHolzersGhost · 29/05/2017 14:23

If he's that worried about how he'd cope without a 24/7 skivvy running round after him then you'd think he would be a bit more fucking appreciative of all that you do for him, the knobber.

I'd be going back to work full time quicksmart I'm afraid OP.

MikeUniformMike · 29/05/2017 14:29

Why is he on the diet? It sounds like Atkins or Paleo or something? Don't they give you bad breath and flatulence? Aren't they bad for you?