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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Womans aid isn't open who else can I ring? (Posting for traffic)

174 replies

Queenofthestress · 28/05/2017 06:09

Womans aid isn't open on weekends, it's says Monday - Friday on the website, who else can I ring?
Posting on here for traffic & because some of you have read my previous threads

OP posts:
ArchieStar · 31/05/2017 18:52

Op, my brother has Aspergers and if he EVER treated a person like that I would be devastated and so disappointed!!! It's not an excuse!!

Original poster
Queenofthestress · 31/05/2017 18:56

I'd expect it when they're younger and going through puberty (I even have a dint in my head from my cousin accidently hitting me with a golf club during a tantrum at 12 lol) not at 20 years old

Honestly I do think his mum has enabled him somewhat now I'm looking at it rationally, as much as she tells me she hasn't, every time I spoke to her after his outbursts she's always said 'he's aspergers, he can't help it, he can't process what he's feeling'

OP posts:
picklemepopcorn · 31/05/2017 19:16

If he can't process what he is feeling without being violent and abusive then he cannot have a close relationship. He needs more space than being in a couple gives, by the sound of it. He needs to have his meltdowns where they don't affect anyone else.

LorLorr2 · 31/05/2017 19:25

Even if it were true that his aspergers was to blame, that wouldn't mean you'd have to stay with him. x

Original poster
Queenofthestress · 01/06/2017 12:44

Last of his stuff is going then I'm mostly freeee

OP posts:
picklemepopcorn · 01/06/2017 14:39

Yay!

prettywhiteguitar · 01/06/2017 18:01

Whoop whoop crack open a beer/wine/cake Grin

NellieBuff · 01/06/2017 18:31

I am so glad for you and so proud of you. Hang in there girl it can only get better. I have been thinking of you these last few days and I am so glad it is getting sorted out. Hugs and flowers all round

RavioliOnToast · 01/06/2017 18:41

I've just RTFT and you are amazing! Well done OP, he sounds like a right cunt and you sound well rid!! Xx

Original poster
Queenofthestress · 01/06/2017 23:00

I may have devoured a full cake :D
My sister in law dropped off his stuff and noticed that not once has he been there to ask about his daughter and his mum is the only one asking for her even if she just calls her 'the baby' -.-

OP posts:
AdoraBell · 01/06/2017 23:26

Only just seen this so haven't RTF but well done getting away. Don't worry about the cake, needs must and all that 👍

Thanks and (((hugs)))

picklemepopcorn · 02/06/2017 07:00

Ah, 'the baby'. That well known extension of self. What a shame. I used to supervise contact visits for a bloke, who would see his DD twice a week. He didn't even greet her, he was so busy trying to impress me with what a good bloke he was.

Original poster
Queenofthestress · 02/06/2017 08:46

My sister was so offended at her just calling the youngest 'the baby'

OP posts:
pdjimjams · 02/06/2017 09:27

Well done Queen!! SmileCake

Original poster
Queenofthestress · 03/06/2017 20:01

The rest of his shit is gone whoop whoop

OP posts:
picklemepopcorn · 03/06/2017 21:39

Result! It's all looking good! You've built up your boundaries again. Well done.

picklemepopcorn · 03/06/2017 21:41

Result! It's all looking good! You've built up your boundaries again. Well done.

Original poster
Queenofthestress · 03/06/2017 22:26

His mum keeps trying to guilt trip my sister into letting her see the youngest and my sister is pretty much saying contact center or you can jog on but I know if that was me I'd be suckered in :(

OP posts:
NellieBuff · 04/06/2017 10:29

You are doing so well and stay strong. Please do not fall for the emotional blackmail. Using the contact centre for visitation is the way to go. You can do this and you are doing so well. Bet you are feeling a sense of relief now. Keeping you in my thoughts, hugs and everything to you and family

Original poster
Queenofthestress · 04/06/2017 11:13

It's honestly been a nightmare with DS, school holidays combined with everything moving around and the routine being thrown out because Nan was on holiday means one unhappy unsettled little boy :( I can't wait for school to start again so the routine is back in place

That's the heartbreaking thing, he's not looked or asked for him at all, just made me realise how little they interacted, I get that it's hard sometimes to interact with DS (suspected ASD) but that's not an excuse :(

OP posts:
NellieBuff · 04/06/2017 11:43

I know it has been hard and unsettling. It is never easy moving on but I swear it will get better. A new routine will be established and you will look back and think "why did I not do this sooner?" You are on a journey but you have taken the most difficult step (the first one). Hang in there and keep us informed on how it is going. xx

Original poster
Queenofthestress · 07/06/2017 23:51

So I saw him for the first time since everything happened today and nothing happened, zilch, didn't try speak to me or even look remotely interested in trying to see how his daughter was doing

Even though I was beyond nervous I can't help but be pissed off that he didn't even look bothered

OP posts:
DancingLedge · 08/06/2017 00:03

Trust me, that's a result.

So much better than him trying to hook you and reel you back in.
Shows you've been really strong, and he knows he has no power over you.

Crap that he's not interested in his daughter, but he probably can't yet handle his new position. The one where you're no longer taking crap from him

Congrats.

ArchieStar · 08/06/2017 09:16

True colours showing there @Queenofthestress!!

Well done for remaining dignified, you are doing amazing!!

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