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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Womans aid isn't open who else can I ring? (Posting for traffic)

174 replies

Queenofthestress · 28/05/2017 06:09

Womans aid isn't open on weekends, it's says Monday - Friday on the website, who else can I ring?
Posting on here for traffic & because some of you have read my previous threads

OP posts:
picklemepopcorn · 30/05/2017 06:50

Normal to feel guilty, because he has trained you to put his wellbeing before your own and your DCs. Think of it as shrugging off residual brain washing. He is responsible for this, not you.

kittybiscuits · 30/05/2017 06:58

He doesn't know what to do with himself? That's right. He's an abuser and things aren't following the 'normal' pattern now. He will be bricking it. Later he will be raging. His Mum is complicit in his abuse and is as toxic to you as him.

I think you're amazing. Flowers

prettywhiteguitar · 30/05/2017 08:25

Your mum is being really helpful, you seem to have a lovely family! Did they have any idea this had been going on or where you hiding it from them ?

Original poster
Queenofthestress · 30/05/2017 10:10

They knew he had sulks but not how bad when he was flipping out, he's called me every name under the sun, smashed my stuff up, screamed at the kids, spent all my money on booze,
His best mate text me saying that he did warn him this would happen if he carried on,
Police visit today, sorry if the post has typos I have a 5 month old chewing on my hand lol

OP posts:
Original poster
Queenofthestress · 30/05/2017 10:15

He's messaged my sister on facebook asking for the crime reference number, I have no idea what for

OP posts:
Chloe84 · 30/05/2017 10:20

I hope your sister tells him where to go.

None of you owe him anything.

DartmoorDoughnut · 30/05/2017 10:36

What a manipulative arse Angry

You're doing fantastically Flowers

prettywhiteguitar · 30/05/2017 10:43

Tell him to get ta fuck, he's trying to freak you both out. Both of you block him on facebook. The mans an arse

picklemepopcorn · 30/05/2017 10:46

You know, actually, that's great. He can show everyone what an inappropriate, unreasonable, abusive individual he is.

Well done DH's mate for showing his support.

kittybiscuits · 30/05/2017 10:59

Ignore him. Tell the police he is now approaching your family members.

Original poster
Queenofthestress · 30/05/2017 11:42

I'm gonna ring the unit again and tell them, think he might be being charged and that's why they want to know

OP posts:
Original poster
Queenofthestress · 30/05/2017 11:50

My sister told his mum that neither of them are taking my daughter any were, him because he's abusive and her because she'll take her right back to him

OP posts:
LexieLulu · 30/05/2017 11:56

Well done OP, you've been so strong! Have the police informed what they are going to do?

ArchieStar · 30/05/2017 12:09

Queen, I just want to say I think you're being amazing and so strong! I hope he is charged!

Original poster
Queenofthestress · 30/05/2017 12:23

Haven't seen the police yet, I've had to go to mums because his mum told my sister that they wanted to take his daughter

OP posts:
LexieLulu · 30/05/2017 12:26

His mum sounds as bad as he is

ArchieStar · 30/05/2017 12:27

His mum sounds vile!!!

picklemepopcorn · 30/05/2017 14:16

Oh how scary for you! Thank goodness your mum and sister realise what he's like now. He's showing his true colours.

Neverknowing · 30/05/2017 14:25

Don't feel bad op. Think about how he's ruined your life for all this time, being scared in your own home and hiding in the bathroom. If he stayed around for any longer your DC would have been affected by his disgusting behaviour and maybe even come to expect him treating them like that. He's ruined his own life and part of yours at that!
I hope you're okay, sorry I don't have any advice to add.

Original poster
Queenofthestress · 30/05/2017 14:49

I'm in the middle of packing his stuff,
Oh my lord
It feels so freeing!!

If there is anyone reading this thread who is in the suitation I was in and thinks it's only a few times a week so it's not that bad, I urge you to GO TO THE POLICE, it's not okay, it's never okay!

OP posts:
Chloe84 · 30/05/2017 15:13
Grin

So happy for you Queen. It will feel even better in the coming days and weeks.

StumpyScot92 · 30/05/2017 15:37

I hope you recognise how strong you are being right now, and if you don't see i just now know that you will one day.

I was in your position a few years ago and felt totally isolated. I didn't have kids thankfully but when I finally worked up the courage to leave I just ran with my dog, didn't even get my belongings just me my dog and my car. I hid at other peoples houses for a while out of fear he would show up at my mums . He hassled me endlessly begging and threatening.I nearly caved and went back to him thinking it would be easier but thankfully I didnt. I was never brave enough to go to the police because stupidly I thought that would make him worse. 2 and a half years on I live with an amazing man and life is night and day compared to then but I know he has been the same with his new partners as he was with me and now I feel awful for never going to the police so a massive congratulations to you for managing to do that xx

prettywhiteguitar · 30/05/2017 16:16

Good lass ! Keep recording everything he's doing and his mum and you might be able to report her for harassment too ? I would ask police about this.

Original poster
Queenofthestress · 30/05/2017 16:28

The police are looking at issuing a section 21 or something which is a harassment warning to the both of them x

OP posts:
prettywhiteguitar · 30/05/2017 17:49

Good that will shut them up hopefully, they will realise you mean it if you don't engage with them at all.

It's gonna be difficult don't get me wrong you will crash and feel like you want him back, but know it's a phase everyone goes through and it passes. You are doing brilliant!