What's a few minutes between friends

[NottheWhiteRabbit]

I'm interested in people's view points on punctuality.

I'm generally on time for important things like work, interviews, and time critical activities like going to cinema or theatre etc.

But... for things like meeting a friend for coffee, soft play, walks etc, I would assume the meeting time as an approximate! I'm usually no later than about 10 mins. Is this very bad? I genuinely always aim to be on time but fate always conspire against me and I end up late for various reasons. But it could be because I'm more relaxed about the timing as it's only a leisure/ fun thing. Most of my friends are the same and we end up there about the same time anyway. If i'm the one on time, I'm also personally happy to go in on my own and get started on whatever we are doing or could wait at entrance or in the car. It becomes a problem when I meet a couple of friends who are obviously much more organised but are adamant to wait at the entrance of things, sometimes they're even early so they feel like they've waited a very long time! They do get a bit huffy. But I always text when I'm late, so in fact I'm 5/ 10 mins late but they've waited 20mins let's say, AIBU to think they don't get to be too pissed off?

Jesus Christ. You're missing the point all together.

Elan It IS rude to be constantly late unless there is a good reason (i.e. If the person is not NT)

Late because you have a medical condition - fine

Late because you think people's time isn't as important as yours and anyone who hates lateness is beige - rude

Oh ffs. You're plain rude & I hate when people do that.

Nobody is saying that someone who not NT is being rude by being late. I would have thought that was obvious.

You really are projecting and taking this way too personally

I think it depends on how late we're talking and where the waiter (as in the waiting person ) is waiting.

So if 10 mins late to a friend's house for coffee, accompanied by a "on my way" text = OK.

30 mins late to a meeting at a restaurant/ cafe where friend is waiting = not OK.

Tbh OP with your attitude towards your friends, I imagine that's not the only issue

You're missing the point entirely. I give up!

No - it's you that is missing the point. We have explained several times what the issue is but you seem determined not to take any notice

Elan - thank God for that, I thought you were going to carry on down that road you've built.

Right, yes I was defending myself due to the aggressiveness of some of the posters who have made much more personal comments than "get a life"! It's funny how people pick apart a post and focus on parts they can really be negative about, but skim past the parts where I say when I am on time and definitely try to be?!
Anyway thanks for all the feedback, 99% of my friends don't sweat this kind of thing so I shan't worry about it. And reading how angry the punctual people are compared to the people who don't mind the 5 mins. I can see the difference.
People are also getting mixed up with others' comments. I think the notion that I don't care was written earlier by a pp, certainly not by me.
I can see that many people like being on time, and well done on being so organised, but being so binary as to stop being friends with someone is ridiculous.
Anyhow. Thanks all the same!

Unpunctuality is a thief of time.

It IS rude to be constantly late unless there is a good reason (i.e. If the person is not NT)

I'm not NT and lateness is one of the things that REALLY stresses me out to being on the verge of meltdown. People who know me know I'm always 5mins early just so I'm not late - I would rather hang about outside their door for 5mins to be able to knock on it bang on time. I'm clearly beige and without a life. Lateness changes the plan I have in my head for how my day should be and being autistic means that can have a greatly negative knock on effect. Clearly that's because I have no life and not because I have plans made and things to do.

My mother and brother persistently say "I don't do time" and are never on time for anything despite knowing how their lateness affects me. I find it incredibly selfish and disrespectful.

I hate when my friends do this.

I once had a friend so late I almost went home, we're talking 45mins or more - she decided to get her nails done on the way.

So in my opinion your being unreasonable

YABVU, it's rude to say the least. If you are meeting at 7pm then you should be there at 7pm, to arrive late is to hint that you think your time is more important than their time.

"being so binary as to stop being friends with someone is ridiculous."
HA!!! God you're a twat 😂
If you're not bothered and neither are you pals, why post in the first place OP?

10 minutes for a social thing? I don't consider that late at all. OP YANBU.

But it does seem there is a lot of tension on here about that. Not something I see reflected in real life.

It's a wonder some people can socialise at All with all this tension re a few minutes.

We all have phones/music/books/kids/free will to keep ourselves amused for 10 minutes.

Who on earth would wait outside a soft play or park? First one there picks a spot and settles in.

.

Used to have a friend like this ... selfish, egotistical behaviour.

5/10 minutes late doesn't bother me at all. I'm an early person, I know I am, I hate rushing, so just settle down and wait for everyone else. When we go out, it's to chat, relax and have fun, we are not on a schedule. I have considerate friends though so if they were running late which happens quite often with several children, they just text 'running late'.

In my husband's country, being on time is very rude, people are expected to show up around 1-2 hours later, and it is very flexible as well, socializing goes on much later, people eat food over a longer time and it just isn't a set hours set dinner type of a thing. That is annoying if you are not used to it but now I am used to their culture.

Some of the people on here do sound like they are a bit uptight, I can't imagine having a friend who set aside time for me, got in a babysitter, rushed around feeding/putting her kids, then turning up 10 min after 8 and being cross and angry about that. I don't think some of the people on here have friends, all this 'I'd dump them' type stuff is theoretical as IMO the people with lots of friends in later life are the ones who are quite easy going, upbeat and flexible.