What's a few minutes between friends

[NottheWhiteRabbit]

I'm interested in people's view points on punctuality.

I'm generally on time for important things like work, interviews, and time critical activities like going to cinema or theatre etc.

But... for things like meeting a friend for coffee, soft play, walks etc, I would assume the meeting time as an approximate! I'm usually no later than about 10 mins. Is this very bad? I genuinely always aim to be on time but fate always conspire against me and I end up late for various reasons. But it could be because I'm more relaxed about the timing as it's only a leisure/ fun thing. Most of my friends are the same and we end up there about the same time anyway. If i'm the one on time, I'm also personally happy to go in on my own and get started on whatever we are doing or could wait at entrance or in the car. It becomes a problem when I meet a couple of friends who are obviously much more organised but are adamant to wait at the entrance of things, sometimes they're even early so they feel like they've waited a very long time! They do get a bit huffy. But I always text when I'm late, so in fact I'm 5/ 10 mins late but they've waited 20mins let's say, AIBU to think they don't get to be too pissed off?

I am always early.
I always allow extra time in case of roadworks, parking difficulties etc.
It's rude to keep people waiting.

What about taking kids to school and picking them up afterwards.

Do the "relaxed" take these times with a pinch of salt too?

Yep, work full-time, westray. I start work early due to the fact I'm an early riser. Doctor, dentist appointments? Of course, but they are always running late so it's a match made in Heaven

My children have never been late for school, again, due to the fact that I'm an early riser. Now, if school started in the evening...

ddssdd I'm late for everything, my lateness is non-discriminatory; .... this is part of my make-up

So that's not actually true then?

Unless your boss doesn't mind you rocking up whenever you like.

Do you have kids at school?

"You are quite the charmer, aren't you OP? I also have bad anxiety about being late for things. But to say that people who are on time are 'beige' and 'need to get a life'? I think being late is the least of your issues"

👆👆 exactly this. I think your issue is less about lateness and more about your whole attitude towards yourself and others. To say people who get somewhere early need to get a life. Please! So your life is just THAT much of a thrill ride that you lose track on time? All the rest of us must be so boring that we count down the hours till we can arrive early waiting for douche bags like you 😑
You contradict yourself alot.

I hope none of the aggressively punctual people on this thread have friends with ADHD. I do and I find managing time in a precise way VERY stressful and am often not on time despite trying to be. But according to most of you I'm a rude self-centred cow. How lovely.

Westray, sorry for the late response

Please read my above post. I start work ridiculously early, but only because I wake up at silly o'clock.

Please unclench those buttocks

Most of us have an issue with the OP's attitude rather than the lateness iyswim.

That was to Elan

But we're not talking about people that hae cognitive, psychological and neurological reasons for being late are we?
The OP states in her OP that she's frequently late meeting friends, although easily makes it to work and such like on time.
She then backtracks and makes out that it's only if the unavoidable happens (baby's nappy explodes/baby hasn't slept all night etc), but this wasn't what she said originally. Noone would mind the odd occassion where it can't be helped. She asked isn't unreasonable to be consistently 10 mins late. The majority of people said yes and she then said people early etc need to "get a life".
But we're the argumentative ones...

But we're not talking about people that hae cognitive, psychological and neurological reasons for being late are we?

How would you know what their reasons are for being late?

Even the first page on the thread is full of unqualified vitriol about lateness.
"I can't bear it when people are late"
"Urgh! I hate late people!"
"I hate lateness"
"It is the height of rudeness to be late!"

Some of you are annoyed with the attitude of OP. Not all of you - some of you just seem to hate all lateness and haven't considered that being so rude about lateness is in itself rude and unthinking.

Someone being late because they genuinely can't help it is fine

Someone being late because they cba to be on time isn't

Someone thinking others are 'beige' for being on time - hell no

Elan - no. Anyone who made those comments would not mean someone with a GENUINE reason. That wasn't the vibe of the OP - she is generally late for no reason. That's why people made those comments... Obviously.

StaplesCorner:

Flights - no, I have missed some for work, others are caught by the skin of my teeth running through the airport with my lungs about to explode

If you were my employee I'd have sacked you the first time you couldn't be arsed getting to the flight on time. Any fees incurred for ticket changes etc would come out of your pocket.

I have spent a lifetime being told I'm rude for being late, and NOT having people consider that there are reasons for lateness that are unavoidable.

So I disagree with your analysis of the thread being just about the OP's attitude.

It's considered acceptable to be incredibly rude about people who are late, full stop, no qualifications. And this thread backs that up.

Beige vs kooky.

I'm sometimes late for medical appointments but then I usually try to get there within 10 minutes and say sorry profusely. I don't know, its not right and its not ok.
You do realise that when you're 10 mins late for an appt everyone else after you has their schedules buggered too?!

Elan - and it sounds like you're projecting your own experience onto the reasons for defending th OP. Fair enough if you have valid reasons, doesn't mean the OP does. Infact nowhere has she stated she does either.

I'm not projecting. Some people are late because they can't be arsed being on time and are selfish. Some people are late for justifiable reasons.

What I'm responding to is seven pages of blanket hatred for lateness to try and provide some balance.

Elan - people shouldn't have to say "I hate lateness... Unless of course someone has a valid physical or psychological reason, or its a one off unavoidable reason for which they can't help it"
That is obvious. Are you incapable of understanding that??

"But it could be because I'm more relaxed about the timing as it's only a leisure/ fun thing." - this is from the OP. Of course people will be irritated by this.

Should they not? They do on other threads about all sorts of things - distant husbands possibly having ASD, noisy children possibly having SEN. Being understanding about how non-neurotypical people behave is discussed on MANY threads. Why is lateness special?