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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that DW's behaving irrationally and unfairly?

365 replies

VogelVogel · 26/05/2017 20:43

From time to time we have disagreement and she storms off. She says she doesn't like confrontation as her parents fought during her childhood so she uses these avoidance tactics and is hypersensitive to the smallest of criticisms.

We have been NC with my parents who live locally to us-I will admit they have not treated my wife well in the past. A big clash of cultures and understanding was to blame in many instances but unlike me DW finds it incredibly hard to forgive and forget and even the smallest thing would get blown out of all proportion. My parents have made no secret of the fact that they didn't accept DW and neither attended our wedding and she will not back down and claims to have been "conditioned" by all of us. fact.

My parents are very socially awkward, speak their minds and they are snobs but they are not bad people.

We've had nothing to do with my parents for the last 6 years now after DW intercepted an email written about her which wasn't very complimentary.

I was most upset to see that my father is suffering from ill health now and putting my mother under much stress. They both turned up at the house unannounced and we were not in during my son's birthday last month -all they wanted to do was to see my son. My wife found this out from by brother (who was indiscreet and joked with DW that our mother probably was after a carer for my dad) and my wife went mad. She went on a epic rant about calling the police if they were to dare turn up again -and she didn't speak to me for a week.

I feel now that my parents are frail and elderly they need a supportive family around them. They're not perfect but they're the only parents I have-they mean well and don't have the most sophisticated sense of humour but they're not malicious.

AIBU to tell her I'm going to take the DC and start up regular contact with them again?

I'm not sure I could cope with any more moods. In the past I've looked elsewhere for emotional support and can see that happening again Sad if she doesn't change.

OP posts:
BorisTrumpsHair · 31/05/2017 11:41

You are going to feel a million times better once this horror show is no longer part of your life.

LagunaBubbles · 31/05/2017 11:42

Good luck

FrenchJunebug · 31/05/2017 11:47

YANBU.

I do not like my parents very much but I still believe they have a right to see their grand child as long as they are nice to him. Yes I understand that your wife was hurt and that they have acted appallingly but if they apologise I also believe that they should be forgiven and given a second chance.

ArchieStar · 31/05/2017 11:51

@FrenchJunebug RTFT

VeryButchyRestingFace · 31/05/2017 12:55

OMG, I called it! Shock

Good luck OP, life is too short for this shit. Flowers

VogelVogel · 31/05/2017 12:56

Agree Butchy. But some moves are harder to make than others.
Thank you.

OP posts:
Taylor22 · 31/05/2017 13:12

I'm so happy I read till the end!

My first response was to call OPs Mother a cunt and suggest the wife was only staying to protect the children

Get out OP you deserve so much better!

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 31/05/2017 13:26

Vogel I've just read this thread in horror. Life is too short- I wish you every happiness away from these leeches.

RebootYourEngine · 31/05/2017 13:33

I do hope you and the dcs get away safely. Butchy is right, life is too short for a life of this shit.

Spookle · 31/05/2017 14:42

Good luck OP.

MrsTerryPratchett · 31/05/2017 14:49

Please please get out and stay out. So glad this turned out to be you.

Flowers
MrsSthe3rd · 31/05/2017 15:03

Well, I think you're stronger than you believe/feel.

You'll feel amazing once you've taken that first step away from these awful people.

MissEliza · 31/05/2017 16:42

I hope this thread has given you the courage to get out of your marriage Op.

pointythings · 31/05/2017 16:48

I'm so glad I read till the end. I hope your escape plan goes smoothly, you deserve it.

Italiangreyhound · 31/05/2017 19:34

Vogel that makes a lot of sense. I couldn't understand why you kept coming back for more from the thread!

I stopped posting a while ago but did read some more.

I am both sorry to hear you are the wife, because you have had a very tough time, and also pleased because you can do something. I always say we never get to see both sides with Mumsnet but I guess with this, we have.

I wish you all the best in your bright and happy future. Thanks

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