to think 'I don't drive' is not a valid excuse?

[peppatax]

Two parts to this really, I don't know many adults that don't drive to ask but if you don't drive, can I ask why not?

Second part I guess is if you don't drive, do you expect others to accommodate you or make allowances for you solely on the basis of not driving?

Im not good enough to pass a test even after hundreds of lessons. Its not worth shelling out more money for nothing.

I don't drive. I tried but am bad at it because I was so nervous; this has now developed into a fear of potentially causing harm to other people. My boyf doesn't drive because he has epilepsy. We don't rely on other people and will get taxis if we really need to lug anything heavy.

didn't know that the non-driving population would get quite so defensive

Well, you said not driving isn't a valid excuse. What is your valid excuse for unnecessarily polluting the planet, choosing such a sedentary and unhealthy means of transport and adding to the great many cars causing accidents?*

*hasten to add I would never say that, but it would be the equivalent.

I don't drive. I took lessons as a teen and failed my test twice, which then meant I had to retake my theory test (too much time had passed) and I couldn't be bothered.

I have taken lessons since, but, since I was suicidal for years it petrified me. The thought of being in control of something which I could so easily use to kill myself, possibly taking other people with me, did not help my mental state. I took the, I think, fairly sensible decision not to pursue lessons. I hope that is an adequate excuse in your book.

Having been much better for the last couple of years I am about to start lessons again.

Do I expect others to accommodate me? No. I do, occassionally, ask for lifts from people if I need to transport animals or the only option is an expensive taxi which I can't really afford, but it is a last resort. I will use buses, walk or hitch. And that's only if DP isn't around (he'd prefer to take me somewhere than for me to use my money on transport / walk / cycle).

I do find, however, that it is car drivers who have the trouble, who find it hard to understand that, actually, I don't want a lift somewhere.

You're being totally unreasonable. Their choice, more fool you for allowing their choice to influence your decision-making.

HTH

I don't have my own car. I can get access to one but i don't really have to go anywhere by car apart from once a week and have access to one then.

I spent many years (passed test at 26) not driving due to lack if confidence.

I didn't learn to drive until i was 28. Main reasons - i was terrified and badly co-ordinated (still am!) and worked in central London so didnt really need to. I had a lot of weekend lifts from friends and family over the years and now i try to repay that by being generous with lifts to younger colleagues and elderly neighbours who dont drive. I still hate driving tbh. My dream would be to have my own chauffeur

I know a couple who don't drive and whenever they need to get somewhere they just ring round until they find someone who will take them. We often get calls or texts asking if we can pick stuff up from the shop and drop it off for them! Lazy, entitled, spoilt fuckers.

I cant drive but certainly dont expect anyone to accomodate me or my children, what exactly is the point of your thread is it to make us non drivers feel bad because we do actually have legs which apparently some people dont use!

"I do find, however, that it is car drivers who have the trouble, who find it hard to understand that, actually, I don't want a lift somewhere."

This has been my experience too. We live in a town with pretty good public transport, teen dd was doing evening activities which required either a lift or public transport. Friends' parents would insist on giving her a lift and then get very miffed when we couldn't reciprocate- even though dd had explained her situation at the time and was perfectly happy going on the bus.

Do you know how expensive it is to learn to drive nowadays? The tests are much stricter and you need hours and hours of lessons that cost a lot of money.
I don't drive. I walk, use buses, trains and taxis. It's not a problem.
I can see it would be harder if you live in the countryside but it still doesn't give someone the thousands needed to drive!

I kind of get you Op, although not really an AIBU unless they are hounding you for lifts.
I once dated someone who didn't drive. Found it really limiting.

I used to drive. I loved driving. I developed a miserable, painful, terrifying medical condition literally overnight when I was in my late 20s, which causes unpredictable dizziness and visual disturbance and makes me feel permanently drunk/drugged. It took me a long time to get a diagnosis, during which time I was repeatedly told by everyone from GPs to consultants that I was still perfectly fit to drive, but there is absolutely no way I'd risk my life or anyone else's by getting behind the wheel. I look perfectly normal but it breaks my heart that I've lost my independence and I absolutely hate having to tell people I don't drive because I worry that they're judging me.

But how can they get there in time for work if no public transport? My daughter has the same issue

Taxi - they work on both Bank Holidays and Sundays.

To be honest in a situation like that I can see why co-workers would be resentful if they're expected to pick up more of the less-popular shifts because people haven't thought out logistics before taking a job.

In answer to the OP then no-one is unreasonable not driving - i suspect in some ways the driving or lack thereof is a red herring and the person in question is simply a selfish person

I have some sympathy with paxillin's point.

Dh and ds have both had asthma, the air in our town is bad and almost certainly a trigger. I'd have thought contributing to this was a more serious way of inconveniencing other people than not being able to meet them at a country pub. But it's the non-drivers who are expected to explain themselves, not the drivers.

Several reasons. I get very anxious driving or even thinking about it. I just don't enjoy it at all. I can't justify the cost of running a car in London as I'd only use it maybe once or twice a week, so I can't practice to get my confidence up. We have excellent transport links locally. Also environmental factors, though admittedly to a lesser degree.

Jacques I agree

i hate driving , i spent 20 years and 11 tests failed ! I don't listen to anybody now , i think i have given it a fair crack , there's no way i'm putting myself through that again. Some people just can't drive so what , some people can't swim , which i think is equally as important as a life skill.

I don't expect anyone to make allowances for me and never have , i get about on public transport all the time - I am an adult that does not expect to be ferried around .
People do give me lifts ( dp, friends, family) only because they want to and they offer , its not essential to me and i do not ask . I like doing favours for my friends and family too , who doesn't ?

I have a licence but haven't had a car for the past 14 years. I never enjoyed driving at all. And I live in London and it would take ages to drive to work and there's no parking there. Insurance would cost lots in my area. And I feel too many people drive here for no good reason and it's massively contributing to bad air quality.

I don't expect anything from others though, I use public transport or a cab if I need to. Most of my friends in London also don't have a car. Obviously there are things I can't do, like going to Ikea to buy lots of furniture or the garden centre for big bags of compost but I get stuff delivered.

I live in London, we have such great transport links that I do not really feel I need to drive. Have always managed on public transport.

I can't drive. I've tried. I panicked in every lesson. They were a nightmare for me. I tried, I really wanted to be able to do it, but I can't. I ended up in hospital for a couple of weeks as a kid after being run over, which is probably why. Hope that's a reasonable reason for not driving.

I have a licence but chose not to have the expense and inconvenience of car ownership as I can get everywhere I want to go via foot, bike or public transport
I don't ever ask for or expect lifts from others, infact i feel very nervous as a passenger, prefer to reduce my risk of premature death by avoiding cars!
I find it a great reason to duck out of going places I don't want to or visiting far away relatives etc

My DH doesn't drive because he's blind in one eye. I ddidn't drive for a year because the DVLA took my license away for medical reasons.

Should we have sat in the house at all times and cut all social contact so we didn't potentially inconvenience anyone, OP?

Anxiety, trying to start learning soon but terrified.
No i don't expect anyone to make allowances for me.

I'm 37 in a few weeks and got my first car last week. I passed my test when I was 20 but for various reasons never really drove afterwards (I wrote a thread about this a few weeks ago).

Anyway, I have never expected lifts. I've always walked everywhere or got public transport, even when friends and family are insistent about taking me somewhere. MIL is always trying to take me places, even if they are really near, and seems unable to accept that I actually like walking and often it's the only exercise I get!

I'm not sure what not driving is supposed to be 'an excuse' for? Surely its just a personal choice? My not driving doesn't impact on anyone else, anymore than my not being able to bake the perfect soufflé.

I have got a car now because I've just had DC2 and it would make things easier for me, but given the option I would still walk everywhere.