to think 'I don't drive' is not a valid excuse?

[peppatax]

Two parts to this really, I don't know many adults that don't drive to ask but if you don't drive, can I ask why not?

Second part I guess is if you don't drive, do you expect others to accommodate you or make allowances for you solely on the basis of not driving?

Beerwench - you sound like you've got it sussed, need some more ppl like you at my work!

which is fuck all to do with you really isn't it tbh

Most stuff on MN has fuck all to do with anyone else

Thankfully people have actually answered my question in that it's not taken into consideration for an appeal - having had DC allocated to an out of catchment school then yes, I would be pissed off that someone got in on appeal purely on the basis that it inconvenienced them as they didn't drive

I don't drive. I live in London and any car I had would merely sit outside my house gathering dust, leaves and birdshit. I don't need people to drive me anywhere either. Hope that helps.

There's so much social pressure to drive (as evidenced by the fact these type of threads appear fairly regularly).

It seems that the real issue is where people are being cheeky and expecting their driving friends to ferry them around. I don't know anyone who does this but surely you can just say no if this is the case OP? It's the same with any other type of unreasonable behaviour; if it bothers you, you need to say so. And if someone is not doing their fair share of awkward shifts at work, that's for management to deal with I would think.

But I don't understand what the issue with non-driving in general is? FWIW I don't drive, I don't like cars, I like walking and I like living in cities. I also like having exercise built into my day without me having to 'schedule' it. My DF is always amazed me and my DP don't drive and can't understand how we manage. He was horrified at the thought of us carrying food in our rucksacks! We are perfectly able bodied btw so no reason we can't can't walk to the shops and back.

I didn't learn at 17 as my parents couldn't afford it.

Went to Uni - no need to drive
Lived centrally in big city - ditto

Moved to rural area - sat and failed my test 4 times. We had 5 buses each way a day to the local town, so even with 3 under 5's I wasn't very restricted, only in not being able to do a supermarket shop myself, needing dh to drive us. There were no supermarket deliveries available there.

Back in the city - still no need

Then I became disabled and wasn't allowed to drive - at the same time I stopped being able to walk to the bus stop. Felt totally isolated, much more so than I was in the rural area.

Have recently been cleared to drive an automatic, and hope to start lessons after the summer holidays!

OfficerVanHalen you see I agree on the medical point (which presumably could be covered under the 'mobility point' a PP explained) but again, if someone can't afford to drive and used that as a basis of an appeal then why do you think they would be more entitled to a school space they could walk to and to expect it's okay for someone else to pay for and run a car to get a DC to a school miles away?

Non drivers should get a tax cuts, they save the NHS money and have lower carbon footprints
Drivers are lazy selfish and bad for the planet

Now I'm just going to polish my halo 😇

We live in quite a rural area, and I passed my test at 17 as did my 3 DDs - it was your only way of getting around with a highly irregular bus service to town. I had a friend who didn't drive and tbh it drove me absolutely mad as I was always the driver......I drove the 30 mile round trip to the gym x3 a week, any nights out meant I would drive and not be able to drink as a taxi costs a fortune home and she would expect to split it between us. I backed off in the end as I was getting really resentful of always being expected to drive (and she never offered to pay towards fuel or parking). She now has 4 children and still doesn't drive so her mum is a permanent taxi. She's admitted she has no intention of learning either, and has a huge sense of expectation from others. I adore driving, and I love the independence it gives me....I often drive the 2 hrs to the coast with the dog and grandkids for a walk on a nice day .

I think it's absolutely ridiculous that so many people on here lack the imagination to visualise life without a car and cite driving as an essential life skill! A car is a luxury and not a necessity. And i think those of you stating otherwise have never actually experienced adult life without a car therefore don't know any differently.

Can you imagine the parking and traffic situations if everybody in the world >17yo had a car??

I passed in my mid-20s just because i wanted to. I raised my daughter up to the age of 10 without a car. My parents raised over 5 children without a car. We had legs. We could walk!

I got a taxi home from the hospital after I gave birth.

I walked everywhere, pushing my daughter in the pram. I wore a coat and wellies if it was raining. I got home deliveries for heavy or bulky things. Otherwise, i just made several trips to get my weekly shop.

I took busses. I took trains for further trips.

Yes, sometimes it added up to 2 hours on to a trip. But so what? It was still possible for me to get wherever I wanted without a car. Pain in the arse sometimes, yes, but so are many aspects of life without expensive luxuries (such as a car) to make things easier for us.

Now that i have my own car, life is a hell of a lot easier. Although i'm now a hell of a lot lazier and less fit! I could cope just fine without a car because I'm fortunate to be healthy and have full use of my legs (same for my daughter). Therefore, i could walk for hours on end to get wherever I needed to go if a situation so required.

Also - i never begged lifts from anybody. I took up offers sometimes - when the offerer insisted - but otherwise i always used my legs or public transport.

If the OP was "AIBU to think that non-driver's shouldn't use that as an excuse to get out of doing awkward shifts?" then I'm pretty sure there would be plenty of agreement.

I didn't pass my test until I was 24 so lots of people gave me lifts. I didn't expect it, though. I was quite prepared to walk, get a bus, call a taxi but most people offered. What I didn't like is when people offered then moaned about it - especially when I was prepared to make my own way, using public transport.

I have a car now and have friends who don't drive. Most I know are pretty independent but there are times where they could use a lift and I don't begrudge obliging since I am going anyway.

I don't know anyone who takes the p if that is what you mean.

It's not people who don't drive who frustrate me, but those of them who say they never learnt to drive as they 'never needed to', but actually often have to rely on others to ferry them around to social events, appointments etc.

This really is the point - not having a direct issue with people who don't drive. Most people that have kindly replied with a sensible explanation have been useful, so thank you.

I am learning to drive now (mid twenties).

There are a few reasons I haven't before now:

Neither of my parents drive, so it has always been normal for me to just get the bus. I used to live in a busy town with very frequent buses, so never felt held back or relied on lifts everywhere.

My parents couldn't afford to pay for my lessons like all of my friends and dh, and for a long time I couldn't afford to pay for them myself.

In the past I've dealt with severe anxiety, and driving was something I was very scared of. I remember having my first lesson (and last for a long time) when I was about 20. I literally cried the entire time and had a panic attack. I felt so embarrassed, and even writing it now it sounds ridiculous.

I have had on-off lessons for the past few years, dh has helped and I've switched to automatic. But finally, I'm close to passing, which I never thought I'd be. We now live more rurally, and I'm seeing how not driving is limiting me especially with DD.

My mum and dad have never used not driving as an excuse with working, in fact they are very dedicated workers and far from lazy. However, my dsis does feel that if she has the day off, dm can often expect lifts to places which can annoy her.

are they social events you are also attending, though?

Never wanted to learn - felt that I would have been a nervous driver, not confident, which would be dangerous to me and others.

My son will probably never drive as he has a number of problems, including with his motor skills as a result of a bleed on the brain after his premature birth.

We manage just fine by walking/public transport. Some things would be easier with a car, but at 45 and having been a single parent all his life, I couldn't afford driving lessons/insurance/MOT/a car so it's unlikely it will ever happen.

If we make arrangements to meet friends we find alternative ways to get to them.

Your colleague sounds like she's making excuses and it she could drive she'd find other reasons to make a fuss - the not being a driver part is irrelevant IMO!

I had a friend who didn't drive and tbh it drove me absolutely mad
She is a piss taker, but you shouldn't all enable her, if she chooses not to drive she should have to bear the consequences of that

Depends on what it is an excuse for...

'I can't get to the shop at the end of the street despite being physically fit, can you come 5 miles out of your way to take me to buy a crunchie' - YANBU

If you are asking them to be your co-drivers in the Letter Man's 24 hour YABU.

Letter man = Le Mans (shitting auto correct)

I think it's obviously financial for many as it takes quite a chunk out of your budget.
It may be partly fear. Being able to drive is great but it's also a responsibility. If you've never learned it's much easier to let others take that responsibility for you.

Also the culture you grew up with is a factor. Only myself and younger brother can drive. Dad and older brother worked on the buses so got free travel.
I left it rather late as I didn't learn until I was in my mid-fifties. It was a case of just gritting my teeth and getting on with it as public transport where we moved wasn't as good as in a large city. These days it's great just being able to go to the supermarket or visit friends without having to wait for a bus in all weathers.

I think it's absolutely ridiculous that so many people on here lack the imagination to visualise life without a car and cite driving as an essential life skill! A car is a luxury and not a necessity. And i think those of you stating otherwise have never actually experienced adult life without a car therefore don't know any differently.

It depends where you live. A car is a necessity for a lot of people.

I shake so much when driving out of fear I decided it wasn't safe. So yabu.

But Jane that's her DM's fault for being a mug.
I know plenty of drivers who take the piss.
Round here (South Manchester) there have very recently been 3 deaths, caused by elderly people who were not fit to drive. 2 were in hospital grounds where the speed limit is 5mph.
I know an alcoholic who thinks nothing of driving drunk, so she can buy more alcohol.
I saw an old lady last week, struggling to cross the road, she could barely see, I was shocked when I saw her get in her car

Yet its the non-drivers who are selfish

Trinity - a lot of my colleagues in previous jobs didn't even realise I didn't drive because I was always on shift, usually early because of timetables and it was only ever a problem if there was an accident or bad weather - which affects drivers too! The downside though was having to get changed and dry my hair before shift sometimes because of the weather! Though I was always early so I had time!

"Thankfully people have actually answered my question in that it's not taken into consideration for an appeal - having had DC allocated to an out of catchment school then yes, I would be pissed off that someone got in on appeal purely on the basis that it inconvenienced them as they didn't drive"

Hmmm, I'm a bit torn on this because when dd was refused entry to the closest school I had to travel 10 miles round trip on buses. The really annoying bit was that children from other villages and towns had places in that school so it was full, my dd couldn't get a place. We moved as a result because it wasn't feasible to continue like that. Effectively they'd accepted out of catchment applications pushing those in catchment to out of catchment. I felt this was wrong, and not my fault, and would have inconvenienced a driver too, but it made life really hard for us for a time without me having the scope to sort it out other than move home, which we did.

Not everyone has to explain themselves constantly, saying I don't drive is a perfectly reasonable thing to say. I don't because I have a health condition that I'm very private about. I don't expect any special treatment at all, I never ask anyone for lifts except my DH sometimes and feel embarrassed if people offer. On the rare occasions I do accept a lift anywhere, I will always offer petrol money and be of the least inconvenience possible.
This thread has upset me, I get judged a lot and am very aware that as a grown adult in a semi-rural area, I look like a massive freak if I have to admit to not driving, my dentist was taking the piss out of me using the bus the other day, made me want to cry.
It's hardly a choice, why the hell would I not want freedom and independence?