Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think it's not my problem

244 replies

Doodlebug5 · 23/05/2017 12:50

My parents bought DP and me a house many moons ago. We decided at the beginning of this year to sell up and look for a new house. We found a buyer they were a respectable couple in their late 20's and we found a new build. The couple wanted to move in when their tenancy ended so DP and me packed up and moved home to my parents as new build won't be ready yet.

I was very friendly with my neighbours have got their numbers and have been out for dinner with them countless times.

So since we have moved out I've been getting daily messages about the new couple. Apparently lots of loud parties drinking in the street, drugs etc. I've told her she needs to call the police and she's saying no I need to sort it. I have countless times said no it wasn't even my house technically and once we completed legally I/my parents have nothing to do with it. She's now threatening legal action against me (have told her to get on with it) but is there/would there be any reason for me to have anything to do with this? I don't think she fully understands the buying process on a house and is asking why I didn't get references.

I suspect she's using me as a scapegoat for other things /stresses in her life that are going on.

Not really sure how to save this friendship and don't think I can

OP posts:
LotusBomb · 23/05/2017 20:21

sorry you're feeling sad about it OP Flowers
She's no friend as you now know. If it wasn't this, it would have been something else later on down the line. Even if she is using this as a way of defecting from whatever issues she has, you're nobody's punching bag and a real friend wouldn't treat you as such.

Rainbunny · 23/05/2017 20:23

How bizarre. I can understand the hell of having awful neighbours move in next door but she needs to leave you out of it. I actually find her threat to take legal action against you highly amusing! Does she think that she can argue legally that you had a duty to screen potential buyers to make sure they aren't annoying neighbours? How ridiculous! I can actually see a bit of logic behind it mind you, it's sort of the opposite of the situation when a seller fails to disclose problematic neighbours to a potential buyer. Well she'll be educated by the (likely amused) solicitor she seeks out Grin

228agreenend · 23/05/2017 20:23

Before you delete the neighbour's details, is it worth screenshot ting all the text, so if she does see the solicitor,,you have evidence of all,your conversations.

Also, if she comtinues to contact you, then maybe you can report her to the police for harassment... .

(Sorry if this has already been suggested, haven't read the whole thread)

Unicorn81 · 23/05/2017 20:25

Keep the details safe then block her number, not your problem

Liiinoo · 23/05/2017 20:27

That is sad, for you and for her. She sounds unhinged. Text her the one last time - tell her you are sorry to have fallen out over this, you wish her well but you are now blocking her number.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 23/05/2017 20:33

Sorry you've lost a friend but she's clearly batshit so no great loss, really.

artycakemaker · 23/05/2017 20:34

I think that even if you have some sadness and grieving over the loss of the friendship it is worth reminding yourself that you did not cause the loss- she did with her frankly bizarre expectations and her obnoxious threats. SHE is responsible for that, not you.

No point trying to hang on to this friendship, she put a nuclear bomb into it, and that is not your fault either.

OnTheRise · 23/05/2017 20:34

You don't need a lawyer.

Tell your old neighbour, just once, that you have sold the house and if she has any problems with the people living there she needs to take it up with them. And then ignore any more messages she sends you.

LateDad · 23/05/2017 20:39

I don't understand why so many posters assume it would be different if you were renting the property out -- a private landlord is not responsible for the behaviour of the tenants.

www.gov.uk/private-renting/antisocial-behaviour

lottiegarbanzo · 23/05/2017 22:29

Not responsible but a decent landlord would want to know - and to seek to maintain good relationships with their (house's) neighbours.

MyPatronusIsAUnicorn · 23/05/2017 22:36

Reply one last time and say you will report her for harassment if she continues to contact you, which will get a damn sight further than her going to a solicitor because you sold the house next door to her!

Mermaidinthesea123 · 23/05/2017 22:39

Your neighbour is insane - references!!! I've never asked for references when selling my house lol.
Tell her to contact the police like everyone else does if her neighbours are noisy. For goodness sake.

Funnyface1 · 24/05/2017 09:44

I just want to say I would definitely keep a record of what's been said so far and then block. I hope she leaves you alone, this is just nonsense. Try not to mourn the friendship, she sounds bonkers.

SapphireStrange · 24/05/2017 09:45

Oh no, I'm sorry, OP. Sad

She does sound unwell. It's a bit worrying –but I totally understand why you feel beyond wanting to support her. I think blocking her and forgetting about it is the only thing to do and amuse yourself thinking of a solicitor's face when she takes her 'case' to them

knowwhereyourheadis · 24/05/2017 10:16

Keep a copy of any communication, particularly her long rambling reply.

If these messages continue then threaten to report/sue her for harassment.

HotelEuphoria · 24/05/2017 10:20

These new neighbours have only been in your old house two weeks, they could still be in the excited period. They may have had a house warming party and various family or friends to visit. The drugs bit could be made up, or one of their friends smoking a roll up in the garden!

I think;

a) she is peeved you didn't sell to her friends
b) she has some kind of MH issues that have been there long before the house was sold and a combination of the above and the new occupiers getting settled has made her a little bit unstable.

TheMaddHugger · 24/05/2017 10:23

The neighbours might not even be noisy. She may just be very angry you did Not sell [at a loss] to her friends

(((((((((((Hugs)))))))))) OP

TheMaddHugger · 24/05/2017 10:26

She has Lived in Her home for decades, from the sound of it. Did she have a attitude of owning the street ?

She certainly wanted to choose her new neighbours [at a $$$ loss to you]

FizzyGreenWater · 24/05/2017 10:31

That's really sad. Yes, screenshot all messages or save them, then completely block her.

Do you have any mutual friends? If so I would be letting them know that she does not seem to be coping and is exhibiting bizarre behaviour.

Don't contact her again though - there's a rally nasty edge to her behaviour towards you now so totally block her.

Does she know where you live now? Hope not. If she does be prepared for her to visit if she isn't getting responses from you by text.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 24/05/2017 11:17

My face, reading your updates, OP, has been like this -> Shock And I am just sorry that you are having to put up with such strange and unpleasant behaviour!

Hissy · 24/05/2017 11:29

Shock at the update!

this is still not your problem

Why doesn't she get her friends to approach nightmare neighbours and make them a sensible offer? Perhaps SHE could pitch in and help the friends raise the money?

OR She herself could arrange to buy it and choose her own neighbours?

OR she could sell up and move...

Send her this message then block her once and for all.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 24/05/2017 11:43

What does actually think she can take you to court for?

Silly cow. Obviously hasnt a clue about how selling works. Who does she think references would come from?

Gillit · 24/05/2017 11:49

The neighbour could only bring an action in private nuisance against the new owners and even that would be so tediously tenuous it wouldn't get representation and therefore wouldn't get near a court.

Puffpaw · 24/05/2017 13:15

Blimey, she sounds deranged! Block her and move on, sorry to hear it came to this. She is obviously bitter that you did not take a 15k hit to allow her friends to buy. She is vvv unreasonable.

Footle · 24/05/2017 13:17

The other word that arty sensibly left out was 'interest'. If you'd said you had no interest in the house, she'd have thought you cba with it.