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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think it's not my problem

244 replies

Doodlebug5 · 23/05/2017 12:50

My parents bought DP and me a house many moons ago. We decided at the beginning of this year to sell up and look for a new house. We found a buyer they were a respectable couple in their late 20's and we found a new build. The couple wanted to move in when their tenancy ended so DP and me packed up and moved home to my parents as new build won't be ready yet.

I was very friendly with my neighbours have got their numbers and have been out for dinner with them countless times.

So since we have moved out I've been getting daily messages about the new couple. Apparently lots of loud parties drinking in the street, drugs etc. I've told her she needs to call the police and she's saying no I need to sort it. I have countless times said no it wasn't even my house technically and once we completed legally I/my parents have nothing to do with it. She's now threatening legal action against me (have told her to get on with it) but is there/would there be any reason for me to have anything to do with this? I don't think she fully understands the buying process on a house and is asking why I didn't get references.

I suspect she's using me as a scapegoat for other things /stresses in her life that are going on.

Not really sure how to save this friendship and don't think I can

OP posts:
GreenHairDontCare · 23/05/2017 13:12

Dont waste money on a solicitor! Even if you get summoned to court all you have to do is show the paperwork that shows you sold it.

It won't get that far, any solicitor she goes to will put her straight.

sunshinesupermum · 23/05/2017 13:14

She will be told by a solicitor that she can't do anything to you as you are not the legal owner of the house any longer.

Ohgodno123 · 23/05/2017 13:15

We sold our house a couple of years ago and my old neighbour doesn't like the new owner. They've had "words". Neighbour is a queen bee type so isn't impressed with someone standing up to her for once! Every time I bump into her now she has a go at me - it just makes me even more glad I moved! We got on fine while I was living there but only because I'm a walkover!

Puffpaw · 23/05/2017 13:15

I think you need to see her face to face if you value the friendship, I rather suspect texting is what has got you into this mess

expatinscotland · 23/05/2017 13:16

Have you told her, 'This is not my house. We sold it. The sale is done. We are not renting it out. If the neighbours are bothering you, it is not my problem.'

sparklefarts · 23/05/2017 13:16

How bizarre! As pp's have said...just be firm that you understand but make it very clear that 'I signed off legal paperwork back in x month. I do not own the house, therefore I have zero responsibility over this and even less ability to do anything about it. You need the police'

Kokusai · 23/05/2017 13:17

Block her number - you can do it easily on iphones. You don't need to have anything to do with the mad cow since you don't live there or own the property.

Springishere0 · 23/05/2017 13:18

No, not your problem. I mean, even if you wanted to do something, what could you do? You have no authority over them. Perhaps tell your neighbours that there's nothing you can do?

Cuppaoftea · 23/05/2017 13:19

Just in case she's under the mistaken impression her new neighbours are your tenants I would try sending her one last message making it crystal clear that her new neighbours are the legal owners of the house and having sold it to them the property no longer has anything to do with you.

I think you have to request she no longer contacts you regarding the new owners again and accept the friendship is lost. It's a shame and sounds a nightmare for your old neighbours but you aren't at fault.

endofthelinefinally · 23/05/2017 13:21

There is a chance that the for sale or under offer board is still up.
Estate agents are notorious for not taking boards down.
Maybe ring the EA and ask them if they have removed the board?

Bananamanfan · 23/05/2017 13:21

How weird. Why do they think it's anything to with you?

MargaretCavendish · 23/05/2017 13:22

I have countless times said no it wasn't even my house technically

Stop saying this bit. I think it might be confusing her, and it's irrelevant to the current situation, which is that they own the house. Don't get involved even to the extent of saying she should call the police, just keep repeating that it's nothing to do with you (or just ignore the messages). And no, if she's threatening legal action I don't think there's much you can do it save this friendship!

mynotsohumbleopinion · 23/05/2017 13:22

You don't need to hire a lawyer if she tries to sue you! Don't waste your money.

Provided that you have completed the sale no solicitor will advise her to do this and, even if they did, her case wouldn't get anywhere because you have absolutely no liability! There's no duty of care on you as a property seller to choose your buyer based on any form of consideration of their living habits, so there is no chain of causation.

Personally i would just ignore her entirely and keep reiterating the same formal line: "As previously discussed, i would remind you that the legal sale of the property in question was completed on [INSERT DATE]. As of that date, we have no longer had any responsibility or liability in connection with ongoing use or ownership of the property and we continue to suggest that you discuss your concerns with the current owner and/or the council and the police if the disturbances continue."

HeyCat · 23/05/2017 13:22

I think you may have been a bit confusing (or she's very very dense!)

Either way, there is absolutely no way you are responsible (unless you entered into some kind of deed of covenant guaranteeing anything about future owners, which would be extremely unusual and you would know about it!)

I suggest you text her "X, perhaps I have not been clear. We sold the house to Y and Z. They are not our tenants. They own the house. It would be extremely unusual for sellers to get references for the buyers of the property, and we had no reason to do so. I am sorry you are finding them difficult, but we have no control over this situation and ultimately this is not our responsibility to deal with. Please stop contacting me to complain about the new neighbours."

scottishllama · 23/05/2017 13:25

I'd go with hey's response, then maybe block the old neighbours number. Let's face it, the "friendship" was over when she threatened legal action if not before.

Flicketyflack · 23/05/2017 13:26

I think I would meet with your neighbours as you say that they were your friends and you have been out with them for dinner etc. I would catch up with the them, in a neutral place so you can leave, a coffee shop for instance and I would explain that you have sold the house. It is up to them to follow this up with the local council and or police. It is a shame for them as I am sure you did not think this would happen when you sold it however there is nothing you can do as the house is no longer yours.

FilledSoda · 23/05/2017 13:30

you do not need a solicitor Hmm
You aren't liable for anything.
Obviously it would be polite to clarify to them that you don't own the property but you could legally ignore them.
What do you think will happen?

nosleepforme · 23/05/2017 13:37

uuuum... is no one else picking up that her former neighbour contacted her at THREE AM???????!!!!!!!!! that is unacceptable! it is harassment. totally not your problem. if she keeps threatening you, i would take her harassment to the police and explain that you have relayed that you have no legal ownership etc, but she continues to message you at crazy hours with threatening messages. (or just block her number.)

NotISaidTheWalrus · 23/05/2017 13:38

Calling someone once at an unsociable hour is not harassment.

SapphireStrange · 23/05/2017 13:41

I agree with Flickety, meet somewhere neutral and try to talk it through quietly and reasonably. Make clear that you have sold the house and the new occupants are nothing to do with you and their behaviour is outwith your control. If she IS using you to blow off steam about other things going on in her life, this could be her opportunity to talk to you about them as a friend.

If she won't have that, you might have to ditch the friendship. Tell her not to contact you about it again and certainly not at unsociable hours; make clear that if she does, you'll have to block her number. Three a.m. Fuck's sake.

steff13 · 23/05/2017 13:43

I wouldn't bother with getting a lawyer; certainly any lawyer she tries to hire to sue you is going to tell her you no longer have any responsibility to the house and there's no case to be made. I'd block her number and forget it.

LIZS · 23/05/2017 13:47

If she is such a good friend she won't waste her time and money taking you to court. You have nothing to be answerable for anyway. Agree with reiterating that you are sorry for her problems but as you have already sold the house , the behaviour of its current residents is not your responsibility. If she takes affront the friendship is over anyway. How far away are you moving?

lottiegarbanzo · 23/05/2017 13:48

They think you've let the house to tenants.

Stop advising them about who else to contact - they think this is you, as landlord, trying to deflect responsibility.

Tell them clearly, 'We sold that house. We no longer own that house. It belongs to someone else'. 'Please contact the owners of that house, it has nothing to do with me.'

Stop using words like 'technically'; there's nothing technical about it, or talking confusingly about completion.

ratspeaker · 23/05/2017 13:54

I think you need to make it very clear.
The house has been sold, it is no longer our responsibilty. If it is rented we are not the landlords. Stop harrassing us about your neighbours. Contact the police or council noise teams not us.

Then Id block her

ratspeaker · 23/05/2017 13:58

Btw the friendship is broken.
I dont think it can be saved. Ffs shes phoning you in the wee small hours and threatening court action. Thats no friend.

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