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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think it's not my problem

244 replies

Doodlebug5 · 23/05/2017 12:50

My parents bought DP and me a house many moons ago. We decided at the beginning of this year to sell up and look for a new house. We found a buyer they were a respectable couple in their late 20's and we found a new build. The couple wanted to move in when their tenancy ended so DP and me packed up and moved home to my parents as new build won't be ready yet.

I was very friendly with my neighbours have got their numbers and have been out for dinner with them countless times.

So since we have moved out I've been getting daily messages about the new couple. Apparently lots of loud parties drinking in the street, drugs etc. I've told her she needs to call the police and she's saying no I need to sort it. I have countless times said no it wasn't even my house technically and once we completed legally I/my parents have nothing to do with it. She's now threatening legal action against me (have told her to get on with it) but is there/would there be any reason for me to have anything to do with this? I don't think she fully understands the buying process on a house and is asking why I didn't get references.

I suspect she's using me as a scapegoat for other things /stresses in her life that are going on.

Not really sure how to save this friendship and don't think I can

OP posts:
Original poster
Doodlebug5 · 23/05/2017 19:23

I've had a reply.

It's very long and very rambly
Consensus is I was clear it had been sold. She is upset I didn't accept the offer from friends of theirs (£15k under the offer from the other couple with no room to move) as this wouldn't be happening. I am selfish. She's going to continue on and speak to a solicitor even if it's to make an example of me. She will continue to message me every time they are roudy to see how I like it, made very nasty comments about personal things we have discussed etc it's all very rambly and reads to me like she's either having a breakdown or god knows what. I should be worried about her but I'm beyond offended so
I think that's the end of our friendship and I'm sad about it. Time to block and carry on with my life.

I don't have the energy to reply I'm sad. I don't have many friends left now.

OP posts:
LIZS · 23/05/2017 19:27

She sounds unwell. Don't engage any further, friendship is over.

NellieFiveBellies · 23/05/2017 19:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Familyof3or4 · 23/05/2017 19:29

Never mind not having the energy to reply it doesn't warrant a reply!
I have to say I love it when people say they are seeing a solititor/starting legal proceedings based on nothing. It is so ridiculous I enjoy the idea that they are either wasting their money or stupid enough to think you will be scared of the threat.
Block and end of, you don't need friends like that.

aheffalump · 23/05/2017 19:33

No judge is going to rule that a vendor is responsible for the behaviour of someone that buys their house! Can you imagine the effect on the property market?! Just block her, and carry on with your life.

ohfourfoxache · 23/05/2017 19:39

Definitely just block her. Sometimes it's just not worth engaging any further

AntiHop · 23/05/2017 19:39

Well she didn't turn out to be a good friend. :( noisy neighbours are a nightmare but she couldn't have expected you to lose £15000.

Thatextrainch · 23/05/2017 19:42

Reading this this morning I had assumed, due to your somewhat confusing op, that your ex-neighbour had assumed you were now the landlords of the owners. However, I was clearly wrong. I would block her number.

There's no legal wrong doing by you (based on what uou have tolds us) and a solicitor will tell her that. She could however issue a claim in court herself of course without a solicitor......good luck

StealthPolarBear · 23/05/2017 19:43

Tell her your new neighbours' car is blocking you in and she needs to get round and sort it

RedBeanie · 23/05/2017 19:44

Radio silence.

Bettyspants · 23/05/2017 19:49

Wow, she's nuts! I feel really sorry for you op but she's not someone you need as a friend. Of course there's the possibility that she's having some kind of breakdown but I'm afraid I wouldn't give her benefit of doubt. I'd reply "good luck with that! I'm reporting you for harassment!" Block her number and forget about it. But keep the messages, just in case! I'm petty but there. She's been bloody nasty.

mistermagpie · 23/05/2017 19:49

How odd! Well I suppose now the friendship is well and truly over you can just block her number and move on.

TheChineseChicken · 23/05/2017 19:54

Whilst clearly it's not your responsibility, I have lived somewhere where noise was an issue and it did send me slightly bonkers. You start to anticipate it and it becomes maginified in your head. So spare her a little sympathy as she may really be struggling if they're that difficult

FancyThatFenceEdge · 23/05/2017 19:55

Well she's proved one thing to you OP - shes proved she's slightly loony.

Joking aside, I'd have blocked her number sooner and not engaged.

Not that its too late to block now :)

GreenHairDontCare · 23/05/2017 19:59

Wow. I agree she sounds a bit unwell but that's not your problem either.

Block her and move on.

MsPavlichenko · 23/05/2017 20:02

I think you are right to simply block. To be honest she sounds unwell, and it may be that there is little or even no truth in what she is saying, other than her disappointment that her friends didn't buy it.

If things are as bad as she suggests it is unlikely that other neighbours have not contacted the relevant authorities.

kittybiscuits · 23/05/2017 20:02

You need to block her. It will not get any better if you try to reason with her.

Fluffypinkpyjamas · 23/05/2017 20:05

Wow Op. just RTFT and I am amazed at her stupidity. You are far more patient than most people. Block and fuck her off. What a weirdo. Some friend!

KatharinaRosalie · 23/05/2017 20:05

What on earth does she think a solicitor will do??

BendydickCuminsnatch · 23/05/2017 20:06

Does she have your new address?? Hopefully not, in which case you can just block her and be done with it? She sounds like an utter fruitloop, and a bitter one at that.

bingolittle · 23/05/2017 20:07

I would LOVE to be a fly on the wall if she ever did go to a solicitor. God bless any solicitor who can keep a straight face through that one.

FatOldBag · 23/05/2017 20:07

She is upset I didn't accept the offer from friends of theirs
Oh, there's the issue. She's punishing you as she's pissed off her friends didn't move in. I'd think about reporting to police, she's told you her intention is to harass you even though she knows there's nothing you can do.

JumpingJellybeanz · 23/05/2017 20:13

I want to know what legal action she's threatening you with because 'negligent selling of your house to people who aren't friends with you neighbours' never came up on my law course.

Willow2017 · 23/05/2017 20:14

Op keep the txts or print them out for future reference just in case it escalates and you need to log it with police sometime.

She sounds unhinged why on earth would she think you could do anything? She is pissed that her friends didn't get to move in but that's their fault not yours.

steff13 · 23/05/2017 20:20

Oh, there's the issue. She's punishing you as she's pissed off her friends didn't move in. I'd think about reporting to police, she's told you her intention is to harass you even though she knows there's nothing you can do.

This is exactly it.

Also, make an example of you to whom, exactly? All the other who don't do background checks on the people they sell their homes to?!