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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to send my kids to school today?

169 replies

NoCapes · 23/05/2017 07:35

I'm in Manchester, I was kept awake most of the night listening to sirens and helicopters flying overhead
I feel sick to my stomach about what has happened (as I'm sure we all do) particularly as it is so close to home and I could hear it
Now while I know its massively unlikely anything will happen today, my anxiety is telling me to keep my babies at home with me today

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 23/05/2017 07:52

Good grief! YABU!

SouthWestmom · 23/05/2017 07:53

That's not what I said. Happy to make allowances if any of the following also applied-

So - assuming you weren't there and you don't know anyone who is missing or injured or dead.

No need to keep your kids at home.

Namechangearoo · 23/05/2017 07:53

Couldn't agree more Noeuf.

Sionella · 23/05/2017 07:54

I was a couple of trains behind the one that got bombed on 07/07. A few mins earlier and I could have been on that one. We were stopped and then started and then moved a bit and then all evacuated at Holborn (just a stop or two away) with no explanation. It was only when I saw the buses were all packed full that I thought, WTF... and then had to spend the day in an almost empty office in the city, with no vehicles allowed in zone 1 at all. It was absolutely horrific, and it took a long time to reach friends and family. But we all still got up the next day and got back on the tube. Because you have to. Otherwise they get what they want. Somewhere in this country will be cunts who are thrilled by last night's sickening events. Don't let their hatred and fearmongering win.

When I get nervous about the tube now, I just think of the stats. The odds are minuscule, they really are. I just wish they were zero.

chocisnotsweet · 23/05/2017 07:54

OP I think you should do whatever you feel best. You are not being u at all. You are clearly just concerned for you dc safety. For those people saying don't let them win, whilst I do agree with this I also wouldn't put my family in any danger just to get that point across

DingDong01 · 23/05/2017 07:54

Get a grip. Would you become a hermit if you lived in London in the 1970s?

DingDong01 · 23/05/2017 07:57

I was a couple of trains behind the one that got bombed on 07/07. A few mins earlier and I could have been on that one. We were stopped and then started and then moved a bit and then all evacuated at Holborn
If you got evacuated at Holborn you couldn't have been behind the train that got bombed. It was going in the other direction, or you would have been in front of it

NormaSmuff · 23/05/2017 07:58

you need to send them in, the school will be a caring and nuturing environment for them. dont let terrorists win

ShotsFired · 23/05/2017 07:59

The number of posts on here, FB etc of people crawling all over this because they have been somehow tangentially touched by it - by which I mean they once went to MEN or know someone who knows someone who used to live near Manchester. Like they almost want to join in with the tragedy.

It's weird, to put it mildly.

NormaSmuff · 23/05/2017 08:00

it is far better for the children to be amongst their friends and normality. it really is, instead of wallowing at home with their mummy

TestTubeTeen · 23/05/2017 08:00

You don't say your kids were awake all night, if they are awake and up, send them to school.

Don't transfer your anxiety to them, or lose them a day at school because of your anxiety.

It is deeply shocking and upsetting, I am sorry you were up and disturbed. Send the kids to school and have a coffe with other Mums in your community ?

Far mor reassuring for kids to be doing their normal day, seeing their world function.

Mrsknackered · 23/05/2017 08:00

I am a little shocked at responses on here. OP you should send them to school because you don't want to make them fear their surroundings.
Other posters that are basically saying it's rare and to get over it, it's shaken a lot of us up big time and for those who suffer with anxiety related to terrorist attacks, that is pretty bloody unhelpful.
I've lost someone in similar circumstances and I found it incredibly hard to wave DP off to work this morning. People deal with things differently.

Coffeetasteslikeshit · 23/05/2017 08:02

For those people saying don't let them win, whilst I do agree with this I also wouldn't put my family in any danger just to get that point across

What danger? Has there been a warning that there will be another attack in Manchester?

ITooHaveBeenThere · 23/05/2017 08:05

Just awful that we're made to be frightened to just live our lives

We're not being made to do anything.

That might be their intention.

It's up to us how we respond.

lovelylavender1 · 23/05/2017 08:05

The thing is I once had similar news, not a terrorist attack but lost a parent in a sudden and really avoidable tragedy.

It's awful and yes I get people being shaken up.

But really this will be forgotten about by September. The families have the rest of their lives without their loved ones.

So I'm in agreement, I hate it when people make stuff like this about them. I really do.

Sionella · 23/05/2017 08:05

If it was going west then you will be right - I was travelling into the city from where I lived in the west?

I just know for sure that I was only a station or so away from it, and it was horrible enough. I also knew a couple of people who were actually there (in fact as one small silver lining, our office manager was on the train but unhurt - she met her now husband at a survivors' meeting) and i am very grateful that I was as far away as I was. It's terrifying, but you still can't let it affect what you want to do IMO.

Original poster
NoCapes · 23/05/2017 08:07

I find all of this falling over each other to be the least bit bothered and all of this 'I'm not scared/won't let them win' etc so so odd
I get the well meaning behind it I do, but the fact of the matter is when they kill innocent people and children they do win
And it is really ok to be scared - bombs are scary - mocking people for not being completely fine and dandy with children being killed with bombs is just bizarre and, well really horrible Confused

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 23/05/2017 08:08

Scared is one thing, not sending a child to school is another. Wow, however do all those people in war torn areas do it? This is everyday for them. Hmm

FrenchMartiniTime · 23/05/2017 08:08

Noeuf

Totally agree.

sashh · 23/05/2017 08:08

I totally understand why you would want to keep them home but I would send them because the schools in Manchester (and elsewhere) will be telling staff how to deal with this, some may call in counselors (if a child from the school is among the dead) so I'd send them because they will get professional help.

Also they may want to know their friends are OK.

If you DO keep them home please contact the school and say why and ask them to tell the children so that none of their friends are thinking the worst.

Original poster
NoCapes · 23/05/2017 08:09

And I'm baffled as to how I'm 'making this about me' by being shocked, saddened and/or slightly on edge
I'm not on tv crying claiming my life is ruined or anything, just saying there was a bomb and bombs are scary
I'm very Hmm by some of these responses

OP posts:
Original poster
NoCapes · 23/05/2017 08:09

expat when did I say I'm not sending them in? Please quote me

OP posts:
Chipshopninja · 23/05/2017 08:10

I can see where youre coming from OP. And to be honest if it was me yes id be tempted to keep them off. I wouldnt, but i would want to

JigglyTuff · 23/05/2017 08:11

Why didn't you just say that in your OP then? That you don't want to send your kids in, but of course you will.

PNGirl · 23/05/2017 08:12

I was also going to say that kids need to go and be with their friends today, especially if they have lost classmates.

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