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Original poster

Dsc, new baby and maintenance

783 replies

Gildolann · 22/05/2017 22:52

NC for this just in case!
DH has 2 dc, dss 15 and dsd 12. He currently pays cm to his ex wife.
I am 26 weeks pregnant and DH has been made redundant, so we have decided that I will go back to work full time and DH will be a SAHD, all going well with the birth, my post natal health etc etc.
DH ex wife has gone absolutely mental when she found this out, texting DH that i will still have to give her money every month. Saying her dc are more important than our unborn dc and how I will probably miscarriage again anyway and now I don't want to give her anything. I was going to continue the maintainance arrangement as normal but she has fucked that.

OP posts:
Pallisers · 24/05/2017 20:13

It is phenomenal how many women cannot grasp the fairly simple concept that cm is for the CHILDREN and not for the ex. You'd think they'd get a clue from the actual words "child maintenance".

FlossyMooToo · 24/05/2017 20:15

The kids need to be taught some kind of accountability from somewhere.

So why is that the mums sole responsibility?
Should the children not be taught that the babies you bring in to this world need to be cared for?
Or is that just the womens responsibility?

By the way I think you need a lesson in femminisim here HTH

usernamealreadytaken · 24/05/2017 20:18

Steff13 The children from the first family shouldn't be penalized because of the absent parent's new lifestyle choices

The absent parent doesn't always choose to be the absent parent. The rules are stacked against fathers when relationships break down, and always have been. There are lots of really greats dads who don't get to live with their children whilst they grow up, but are seen as a magical money tree by XP/XW who don't give a damn that their XP is trying to rebuild their life and have a family to live with.

AlwaysCcakeTime · 24/05/2017 20:19

God there's some right bloody handmaiden s on here.

Fucking depressing.

Dadkh · 24/05/2017 20:22

Sorry your partner has been made redundant that must be hard having the uncertainty of money for the future,
Only your OH is responsible for paying maintenance and if he isn't working he can't pay their are many families like this
Does your OH's ex have a partner or is she a single parent, does she work, does she claiming working tax credits,
It's a shame she wasn't more understanding of the whole situation
Good luck OP

FlossyMooToo · 24/05/2017 20:22

Handmaidens

Perfect yet depressing description.

Menz can do no wrong.
Women only care about money.
Yet women are the ones holding the baby by a huge percentage.
Hard to question why that is when you see the attitude of the mothers raising sons on this thread Hmm

FlossyMooToo · 24/05/2017 20:23

Erm Dad Hmm have you read the thread? Dad is choosing to not find wofk.

Dadkh · 24/05/2017 20:24

Yes, there are many Mum's who choose to be SAHP why shouldn't a dad do it

FlossyMooToo · 24/05/2017 20:26

If dad was RP I would agree with you.
However for 2 of his children he is not so he does not have that option. He has an obligation to pay for the children he already has does he not?

Dadkh · 24/05/2017 20:29

So do all the parents on benefits that have multiple children and refuse to work or even look for a job, that tax payers money support, if he is choosing to be a SAHP why can't he support by having the children more well his ex is at work, support doesn't always have to be financial

diddl · 24/05/2017 20:29

Sounds as if it was badly handled by all the adults.

Step children telling their mum half a story instead of her being properly informed by their father.

Well Op if you're not going to pay, he'll have to go back to work to pay for them, won't he?

mrsmrsmrs · 24/05/2017 20:34

My husband would never ask me to contribute any money towards his previous children. We met when I was 22 and I quite clearly told him I'm not up for being a "stepmum". If my husband were made redundant, and chose to stay at home, then that's up to him. It's not my problem if his previous children or ex wife get no money.

FlossyMooToo · 24/05/2017 20:34

Dad the children are 12 and 15. How much childcare do you honestly think they require?

Why should the RP work twice as hard to support the financial responsibility of the parent who chooses not to work in favour of caring full time for a child who is not the responsibility of the ex?
As a bloke would you be happy if hpur ex told you that you should not only pay cm for your child with her but should also pay it for the child she had with another man who by the way lives with her.
Would you pay up?

NotISaidTheWalrus · 24/05/2017 20:35

We met when I was 22 and I quite clearly told him I'm not up for being a "stepmum"

Then you shouldn't have married someone with children. What a fucking peach you are.

FlossyMooToo · 24/05/2017 20:35

mrsm i feel sorry for your dsdc. You are the kind of women that gives us sm a bad name. Your husband was a fool to be with a women as cold as you.

mrsmrsmrs · 24/05/2017 20:36

Plenty of women marry men with previous children and have little responsibility for them. You don't automatically take on someone's children just because you marry them.

stitchglitched · 24/05/2017 20:36

Mrsmrsmrs your husband must be a shit Dad then, to inflict someone with your outlook on his kids.

FlossyMooToo · 24/05/2017 20:37

If it has hooves ignore it.

needsahalo · 24/05/2017 20:37

P why can't he support by having the children more well his ex is at work

Because they are teenagers and don't need childcare?

NotISaidTheWalrus · 24/05/2017 20:38

Plenty of women marry men with previous children and have little responsibility for them. You don't automatically take on someone's children just because you marry them

Yes, there are plenty of awful step mothers married to cunty bad dads. Not something to be proud of though, is it?

NotISaidTheWalrus · 24/05/2017 20:38

Because they are teenagers and don't need childcare

12 is not a teenager and they do need childcare.

mrsmrsmrs · 24/05/2017 20:39

Don't be daft. He's a grown man. He can see them when he wants. He can give them whatever money he wants. What he decides to do for his previous family is absolutely not my problem!

needsahalo · 24/05/2017 20:40

So do all the parents on benefits that have multiple children and refuse to work or even look for a job

that old chestnut, eh? The one peddled by the likes of the Daily Mail and Channel 5 programming of dubious quality and even more dubious morals.

Sigh.

NotISaidTheWalrus · 24/05/2017 20:40

It should be.

Good luck when its your turn to be the ex and your kids have a shitty stepmother,

BitchQueen90 · 24/05/2017 20:41

dad the children are TEENAGERS. They barely need childcare. When I was 12 I would let myself in after school until my mum got home from work.

Whether the ex has a new partner, whether she is on benefits or working, IT DOESN'T MEAN THEIR FATHER DOES NOT HAVE TO PAY CHILD MAINTENANCE.

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