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Original poster

Dsc, new baby and maintenance

783 replies

Gildolann · 22/05/2017 22:52

NC for this just in case!
DH has 2 dc, dss 15 and dsd 12. He currently pays cm to his ex wife.
I am 26 weeks pregnant and DH has been made redundant, so we have decided that I will go back to work full time and DH will be a SAHD, all going well with the birth, my post natal health etc etc.
DH ex wife has gone absolutely mental when she found this out, texting DH that i will still have to give her money every month. Saying her dc are more important than our unborn dc and how I will probably miscarriage again anyway and now I don't want to give her anything. I was going to continue the maintainance arrangement as normal but she has fucked that.

OP posts:
Sn0tnose · 23/05/2017 21:00

The loss of your child was tragic. What she said was cruel, heartless and made with the intention of causing you pain. I absolutely wouldn't blame you for hating her. Shame on her.

If you are seriously considering making maintenance payments for two children conditional on the behaviour of their mother, then shame on you too. You've shown yourself to be no better than her.

NotHotDogMum · 23/05/2017 21:01

If you are seriously considering making maintenance payments for two children conditional on the behaviour of their mother, then shame on you too. You've shown yourself to be no better than her.

Said perfectly

HildaOg · 23/05/2017 21:02

As if I care for your opinion Walter. So you're a deadbeat dad I take it? Or married to one?

mygorgeousmilo · 23/05/2017 21:02

Wow, an update in which you are still being awful. Okay OP....

Waltermittythesequel · 23/05/2017 21:04

Why would you assume I'm a deadbeat dad because I think you defending the woman wishing a dead baby on the OP is pretty despicable?! Confused

TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince · 23/05/2017 21:08

Perhaps his dc should live with you......

Then he wouldn't be able to cop out, and you would have to stump up...

HildaOg · 23/05/2017 21:15

Walter; Because you're defending a woman who is supporting her husband in choosing unemployment and threatening the financial security of his kids. You are lecturing those of us for understanding his exes reaction to this assault on her kids and the family security. You support putting children in poverty and finger wag at how the little ladies should keep their mouths shut and politely smile because we don't want to be "one of those".

Yes, you sound like a deadbeat who would deprive his own children. Your sympathies show where you are on this issues. Probably the loser married to the op😂😂😂

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 23/05/2017 21:15

Those poor kids don't deserve to have to live with OP and their "father"!

expatinscotland · 23/05/2017 21:16

He's sounding better and better all the time! What a prince of a man! I'd be so proud to procreate with a creature like this, said no one ever.

Livelovebehappy · 23/05/2017 21:18

Speechless. He shouldn't and doesn't have the option of abandoning his DCs financial support so he can be a SAHD. How convenient that he was 'made redundant' to coincide with you being pregnant. It certainly makes life a lot easier for you both, but at huge financial expense to his other DCs. I hope his ex gets herself a shit-hot solicitor as I'm sure there would have to be some financial provision from you to support his DCs. What a deadbeat waste of space.

C0untDucku1a · 23/05/2017 21:19

So everytime your stepChildren's mother does or says something you dont like or agree with, you are both going to threaten to stop paying towards your husband's children?

Did he really ohone the mother of his children and tell her to apologise to his new wife for something she said or he wont pay for his children?! And you think thats ok?

What a dick he is.

Waltermittythesequel · 23/05/2017 21:26

Oh dear, Hilda you really are embarrassing yourself.

If you'd read my post you would see that I said maintenance can't be stopped. Perhaps you missed it with all the frothing.

Oh, and I'm a woman, dearie.

HildaOg · 23/05/2017 21:29

One of those women who like to lecture other women on 'not being one of those'... Yeah, I know your type. Why would I be embarrassed? Stop projecting. I don't give a shit.

Waltermittythesequel · 23/05/2017 21:30

Hilda, you seem to have trouble understanding my posts.

Are you ok?

FlossyMooToo · 23/05/2017 21:34

Walter you really do need to stop attacking Hilda.

So you disagreed with her point of view. All she did was try and see it from the exes position and understand why she could be angry and upset.

You chose to attack her calling her one of those women Hmm we get it...move on.

HildaOg · 23/05/2017 21:35

Your attempt at being patronising is embarrassing.

Waltermittythesequel · 23/05/2017 21:37

Sorry, Flossy but someone who is nasty enough not to condemn that woman wishing a dead baby on a woman who's baby dies doesn't need everyone else fighting her corner.

Or should I say I hope her kids die because I'm in disagreement with her?

needsahalo · 23/05/2017 21:38

I wonder why you expect her to care about the welfare of your child when you have no concern whatsoever for the care of hers?

I am sorry for what you have been through and I agree with the majority that her comments were out of order. Unfortunately, that doesn't give you the right to behave in this way. It is the exsistence of women like you that makes it socially acceptable for men to ignore their children, to go without supporting them and the reason so many children in this country live needlessly in poverty. The children aren't daft. They will know who went the extra mile and who didn't. We really do reap what we sow.

Livelovebehappy · 23/05/2017 21:41

Have to agree with Flossymoo Walter; you're coming accross as a bit goady. No-one is saying it's okay to wish a mis-carriage on anyone, but being a single parent is bloody hard enough, and without maintenance coming in, and maybe the reality of his ex losing her home or not affording her bills, she lashed out. We're all human and say things we might regret saying in the heat of the moment, but why should his DCs suffer because of her comment?

FlossyMooToo · 23/05/2017 21:42

Walter you really are showing yourself up now.

Yes it was a horrid thing for the ex to say but Christ is it really Hildas fault?
Her pist was not agreeing with the ex it was just a possible explanation for why she may have said it.

Or should I say I hope her kids die because I'm in disagreement with her?

Was this really needed Hmm

LoupGarou · 23/05/2017 21:50

Or should I say I hope her kids die because I'm in disagreement with her?

That is a grotesque statement to make just to prove a point.

LadyGlitterSparklesSeriously · 23/05/2017 21:51

Well I'd have been fucking livid in the ex's shoes. What did you want her to do, send you both a fruit basket congratulating him on becoming a SAHD?

It was a disgusting, nasty thing to say but you lost all high ground the moment your husband phoned her to order her to apologise to you, or he wouldn't be providing for his own children Shock ...what the FUCK.

You've got yourself a keeper there OP.

HildaOg · 23/05/2017 21:53

Walter you obviously have serious issues and you are massively projecting them on me. I hope you get the help you need. Peace.

Waltermittythesequel · 23/05/2017 22:34

I don't need help.

I'm not so bitter that I would ever excuse the actions of the ex.

Everyone else was able to muster up the decency to condemn what she said.

Should OP be taking it out on the children? Absolutely not, which is what I said.

Is there any excuse for saying what the ex did? Absolutely not.

I'm not projecting. Hilda went on a rampage where I've been a projecting, deadbeat father Hmm instead of someone who said "actually no, what the ex said is not ok".

Anyway, I don't care enough to keep arguing it.

I hope OP's DH does the right thing and works to take care of his dc. Because as I said, it's not OP's responsibility and it doesn't seem like one she wants to take on.

peachgreen · 23/05/2017 22:34

God, all these poor kids. Not a single decent adult role model amongst the lot of you. This thread is just awful.

Imagine threatening to stop supporting your own children to get revenge on your ex for a nasty comment. And yes, it was incredibly nasty - I'm also pregnant after losing a baby last year so I understand how that comment must have felt - but I wouldn't take my anger out on CHILDREN.

All I can say OP is you better hope you're never the ex because any man who threatens to stop financially supporting his kids for ANY reason is a complete lowlife.