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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be amazed at the lack of imagination

209 replies

Maxandrubyrubyandmax · 21/05/2017 07:55

Attended my third church wedding in less than a year yesterday. But what amazed me was that the three weddings had EXACTLY the same choice of music! Here comes the bride, all things bright and beautiful, lord of the dance, Jesu joy of mans desiring during the signing of the register and out to Mendelssohn. With everyone so fixated with having the Original wedding these days and so many great hymns and processional pieces of music why oh why are we repeatadly faced with the same pieces of music again and again and if we are going to be stuck with the same pieces can't people pick something a bit more appropriate than Wagners shagging tune and a song miabout nailing someone to a cross and at least occasionally go for Royal Oak for all things bright and beautiful. Even the person who wrote it seemed amazed it was allowed in church! Off to another wedding next week. Won't be holding my breath!

OP posts:
fiftyplustwo · 21/05/2017 07:58

I guess everyone wants their OWN wedding to be very traditional..... it's a one-time occasion. For you, however, attending at weddings is a repeated exercise...

BigGreenOlives · 21/05/2017 08:00

I thought everyone had Praise My Soul

illegitimateMortificadospawn · 21/05/2017 08:03

I think what you describe is the flip side of a problem I've recently noted. I've had the misfortune to attend several funerals recently. The families were more religious tham most of the mourners and chose hymns that hardly anyone knew or, if the words were familiar, had an unusual arrangement. Hardly anyone was able to join in and the hymns sounded miserable, like dirges. At a wedding you want the guests to lift the rafters of the church with joyful song, ergo common hymns.

Lokisglowstickofdestiny · 21/05/2017 08:03

I think fifty is right, it's the bride grooms only (hopefully) wedding, I don't think they have to take into account what their guests may have listened to at other services.

barrygetamoveonplease · 21/05/2017 08:04

We annoyed the vicar by having 'Morning Has Broken' at four o'clock in the afternoon. It was popular at the time. But not with him. :)

scrappydappydoo · 21/05/2017 08:05

I guess for a lot of people this is the church music that they know. When asked to pick a hymn they resort to well known traditional pieces and ones they remember singing at school. Also with the the hymns if you pick ones people know, like all things bright and beautiful, there is more chance of people singing up rather than a mumble along to an unfamiliar tune.

Boulshired · 21/05/2017 08:06

I love lord of the dance as it reminds me of childhood haven't heard it at a wedding for years.

MephistophelesApprentice · 21/05/2017 08:07

You think the hymns are bad? All but one if the weddings I've been to in the last decade have had that wretched song from bloody Twilight as either the first dance or bridal march.

Makes me groan every time.

Deploycharitygoats · 21/05/2017 08:09

Our choice of hymns made our wedding sound like a primary school assembly Grin

But as a PP said, at least everyone knew the words and could join in.

exLtEveDallas · 21/05/2017 08:10

I think these songs are chosen because people 'know' them and nothing is worse than a congregation mumbling and mouthing songs that they don't know, out of tune and looking embarrassed about it.

It's about making people feel comfortable I expect. We are no longer the nation of church goers that we were, people don't step foot in them from birth to death, don't hear hymns, don't know how to sing them.
(At my first wedding we had 'I vow to thee my Country" and I'd say a good 70% of the congregation sang the Rugby World Cup words instead!)

KERALA1 · 21/05/2017 08:11

Weird choices I agree lord of the dance and all things bright and beautiful are two of my worst songs ever. Both happy clappy children's dirges that take me right back to primary school and not in a good way.

So many lovely hymns we had that make me a channel of your peace one.

Whatsername17 · 21/05/2017 08:11

I had 'Silent Night' and 'Good King Wenceleslas' (I'd better money that I've misspelled that!') I got married at Christmas and it was lovely.

Dianneabbottsmathsteacher · 21/05/2017 08:11

My parents had 'oh perfect love' where as 'fight the Good fight' would have been far more appropriate Grin

Op did you wear the same outfits to all 3 weddings? Grin

Dianneabbottsmathsteacher · 21/05/2017 08:11

My parents had 'oh perfect love' where as 'fight the Good fight' would have been far more appropriate Grin

Op did you wear the same outfits to all 3 weddings? Grin

Original poster
Maxandrubyrubyandmax · 21/05/2017 08:16

But surely people either know more than these two hymns or don't know any and they don't need to know the music the bride enters or leaves to! I'd say the Wagner is over used rather than traditional. There's a reason Kate didn't trott down the aisle to it!

OP posts:
illegitimateMortificadospawn · 21/05/2017 08:18

Talking of Wagner, wouldn't it be fun to do your grand entrance to the Ride if the Valkyries?

Original poster
Maxandrubyrubyandmax · 21/05/2017 08:19

And no I had new outfits (might have worn the same bra to a couple😂)

OP posts:
LittleCandle · 21/05/2017 08:19

My mother wrote a hymn for my wedding (and also for DDs Christening). I went down the aisle to the dreaded Wedding March, but only because at that point in time I couldn't find the sheet music for the wedding march from the Sound of Music.

As a church organist, you get asked for the same pieces of music over and over again because people don't know enough about music to choose something different. Or to please their parents. I've had quite a few go down to Whiter Shade of Pale.

As for funerals, I would get a call about a funeral and be told 'usual two' which meant the 23rd psalm and Abide With Me. Both beautiful, and I can sing the words without looking. As a singer, who always sang whilst playing the organ, I can remember only a handful of times that I was not the only person singing.

I'm going to a wedding this week. It won't be a religious service, so I have no idea what songs, if any, there will be, but if I know them, I shall be giving it laldy!

Original poster
Maxandrubyrubyandmax · 21/05/2017 08:21

Illegitimate now that would at least be a bit more rousing! Here comes the bride is aweful sounds more like music to accompany you to the chopping block imo (could actually be appropriate for some I suppose)

OP posts:
Darkblueskies · 21/05/2017 08:21

People pick these because they sang them at primary school and they haven't been to church since.

Goingtobeawesome · 21/05/2017 08:26

It's not about you. It's what the bride and groom want. Though it still grates that MIL vetoed my only choice of hymn I wanted. Apparently not wedding music or the right religion or something.

Buddah101 · 21/05/2017 08:26

Thankyou OP, This thread has made me just look up our old hymns we used to sing at school in the come and praise book.

Now singing If I had a hammer and Autumn days to ds and he thinks ive gone mad!

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 21/05/2017 08:27

... sounded miserable, like dirges. well they would. That's what a dirge is.
A total aside, I know someone at a registry office do who had "Should I stay or should I go?"

TheFirstMrsDV · 21/05/2017 08:32

I had Moonriver going in and Oh Happy Day walking out.
It was a religious wedding too.
I can't remember what hymns I had during the service though Blush

I do remember my MIL's face when she realised my dog was walking down the aisle with me Grin

FrancisCrawford · 21/05/2017 08:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.