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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be amazed at the lack of imagination

209 replies

Maxandrubyrubyandmax · 21/05/2017 07:55

Attended my third church wedding in less than a year yesterday. But what amazed me was that the three weddings had EXACTLY the same choice of music! Here comes the bride, all things bright and beautiful, lord of the dance, Jesu joy of mans desiring during the signing of the register and out to Mendelssohn. With everyone so fixated with having the Original wedding these days and so many great hymns and processional pieces of music why oh why are we repeatadly faced with the same pieces of music again and again and if we are going to be stuck with the same pieces can't people pick something a bit more appropriate than Wagners shagging tune and a song miabout nailing someone to a cross and at least occasionally go for Royal Oak for all things bright and beautiful. Even the person who wrote it seemed amazed it was allowed in church! Off to another wedding next week. Won't be holding my breath!

OP posts:
standingonlego · 22/05/2017 19:12

I also know quite a lot of "sankey" hymns...there is a green hill far away reduces me to a sobbing mess for some reason. Actually all communal signing does Blush

Completely atheist, but love the singing even though I am rubbish also sing with gusto Grin

Ethelswith · 22/05/2017 19:13

I processed up the aisle to the Promenade from Mussorgsky's Pictures at an Exhibition, becuase I've always loved it and felt it would 'fill' a church IYSWIM.

Only one guest actually mentioned Alan B'stard....

DomJolyNurse · 22/05/2017 19:14

I thought I remembered what music we had, but just looked it up and it was very different!

PROCESSIONAL
Trumpet Voluntary, Jeremiah Clarke

RESPONSORIAL PSALM
I the Lord of sea and sky - sang by my SIL

HYMNS - sung by congregation (ok so probably just me as I love these 2!)
How Great Thou Art
Be thou my vision

COMMUNION HYMN
Ave Maria, Franz Schubert - sung by my friend

REFLECTION
Slow Air - played on low tin whistle by BIL

SIGNING OF THE REGISTER
Amazing Grace, John Newton - sung by other SIL
Con te partiro, Andrea Bocelli - Instrumental played by other BIL

RECESSIONAL MUSIC
Canon in D, Johann Pachelbel - by family flute player

I wish I was musical but loved having family help in this way. Overall this probably points to an Irish Catholic wedding. I never hear the music in the OP, maybe they heard it in other weddings and loved it!

DomJolyNurse · 22/05/2017 19:17

I think I will request those 2 hymns for my funeral too and maybe also

Hail Queen of Heaven, the Ocean Star.

Toomuchtea · 22/05/2017 19:22

I have sung at more weddings than I care to think about, and from my vantage point you can see exactly who is singing in the congregation, which is around 5% of the congregation, if you're lucky.

The bride and groom do generally try to pick hymns that they think people will join in with because they sang them at school, but in most cases people just don't sing. I think some of is because people are completely unused to church and have no idea what they're supposed to do, coupled with extreme embarrassment at having to sing when they haven't done it for years. You do also get those who are obviously hostile, and the gum chewers.

And then there is the odd wedding where people are obviously church goers, and then you get a glorious swell of noise, which is amazing - even more so because it happens so seldom.

cordialequina · 22/05/2017 19:22

I have no weddingy things to contribute, just popped in to say this is such a lovely thread Smile

SoupDragon · 22/05/2017 19:24

I walked up the aisle to Handel's Water Music.

My uncle "went out" to the Ying Tong Song by the goons at his funeral.

SoupDragon · 22/05/2017 19:27

Methodists are better at hymns, I find. Compensation for all the guilt and unworthiness. Funerals of my aged Methodist relatives have had some wonderful music, 'To Be A Pilgrim' being a favourite.

I love that hymn - I had no idea it was methodist.

29Palms · 22/05/2017 19:37

Re 'All Things Bright And Beautiful'

There's another hymn I remember from childhood which refers to the natural world
All Creatures Of Our God And King

It's a hymn of praise with a really rousing chorus, and I'm surprised it's not more often sung. It even has a "death verse" which makes it suitable for funerals, but that verse can be omitted for other occasions of course.

SenseiWoo · 22/05/2017 19:40

It isn't strictly, Soup, just tends to be a favourite.

NameChanger22 · 22/05/2017 19:43

I wouldn't be too amazed OP. All the creative people I know didn't both getting married. I think many artists are able to imagine a different, less conventional life for themselves. That might explain it.

elephantscansing · 22/05/2017 19:44

Because the vast majority of peple don't go to church these days so won't be familiar with many hymns!

That's why people choose easy, well known ones. There's nothing worse than nobosy singing a hymn and everyone mumbling along...

elephantscansing · 22/05/2017 19:48

I LOVE Guide Me oh Thou Great Redeemer but I have chosen it for two funerals so couldn't have it at our wedding...

We had Bind us together, Lord and One more step along the way we go.

Andrewofgg · 22/05/2017 19:49

Anyone thinking about wedding music and wanting something different for a congregation to leave the church by should consider the Sorties by Lefebure-Wely - there are a few to choose from. Find them on YouTube or Spotify and see what you think.

BurningViolin · 22/05/2017 19:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

elephantscansing · 22/05/2017 19:52

I think he considered "One More Step Along the World I Go" to be a particular insult to good taste

Grin

I like it. It's happy and positive. And true. And easy to sing.

redexpat · 22/05/2017 20:05

@RuggerHug if you think British hymns are bad never ever go to a danish church service. My record is 16 verses. I lost the will to live.

What surprises me is that people dont even think to go to the library to get a wedding music cd of which there are hundreds!

RuggerHug · 22/05/2017 20:09

@redexpat 16......I would have passed out from lack of oxygen by verse 7!!!Shock

FrancisCrawford · 22/05/2017 20:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

spinassienne · 22/05/2017 20:32

I went to a wedding where one of the hymns was Abide with me.

MacaroonMama · 22/05/2017 20:36

I sang in a great youth chorus as a teenager, and we did several performances of Mahler 2. So when DH and I got married, I asked the organist to play a bit from that, a bit near the end where the alto sings, and there are some suspensions. A friend with a wonderful voice sang. That was my going down the aisle music - gorgeous, but I didn't realise how emotional I'd be, so the music started, everyone turned round all smiling and beautiful - and I sort-of beamed-sobbed down the aisle. Bloody hell.

We also had Amazing Grace, Jerusalem (also made me cry), How Great Thou Art, and something else... can't remember... My mom, aunts, cousins and some friends sang a beautiful unusual setting of The Lord's My Shepherd for the psalm (by Herbert Chappell).

Back up the aisle to Widor's Toccata (my mom's request). I really wanted One Hand, One Heart from West Side Story while we signed the register but the Priest got sniffy as it wasn't 'religious' enough. It is the bloody wedding vows in song! Good job really though, I had already cried through much of the service! (Happy tears).

BetsyTheBee · 22/05/2017 20:41

MephistophelesApprentice YABU! Grin My sister had it at her wedding and I almost cried! I would have too if it wasn't for the photographer snapping away.
I think it's so popular because it was actually written FOR a wedding (even if it is between an 18 and 117 year old Wink )so all of the lyrics fit the occasion, it's not just a generic love song.

RustyBear · 22/05/2017 20:49

I went to my nephew's wedding on Friday, and they had the Trumpet Voluntary for the bride's entry, with the best man on trumpet (who then had to come rather rapidly up the aisle for his best man duties!)

Hymns were Bread of Heaven, The King of Love my Shepherd is (possibly because the groom is a West Brom fan) and one I'd never heard before - Tell out my soul, the greatness of the Lord.

The bride and groom went out to the Toccata from Symphony No 5 by Charles Widor, and their first dance was to Norah Jones' 'Come away with me'

RustyBear · 22/05/2017 20:53

Oh, and during the signing of the register, the choir of the King's School, Canterbury sang, but I didn't recognise what it was. My nephew was a scholar at the King's School, which is why he was able to be married in the Cathedral.

SingaSong12 · 22/05/2017 21:07

Haven't RTFT

I have a relative who plays the organ for catholic church weddings and says it is better for people who don't attend regularly to have the things they learnt in school and more people will know or have a choir or soloist. Some couples ask for something they know is religious and sounds nice. The worst she's had is request for Pie Jesu, Andrew Lloyd Weber version, she suggested against and I think the priest vetoed if only because he wouldn't have been able to keep a straight face while it was sung. Yes it has a lovely tune and choir boys/your friend may sing it beautifully but the words are for a requiem (funeral) and mean -

Pious Jesus, Who takes away the sins of the world,Give them rest.
Lamb of God, Who takes away the sins of the world, Give them rest, Everlasting Rest.
Perfect for a wedding Grin