That you don't ask guests to change their wedding outfit?

[poopsqueak]

Got a phone call this morning from my brother (sheepishly) asking what I was wearing to his wedding.

I told him 'black dress' and asked why and he said his wife to be is worried ill either 'stand out' or 'fade into the background' and could I change it?

The wedding is in 2 weeks, I've had the dress for 2 months (no return period) and my mum (mother of the groom) has had the same call. My mum just said yes though. She had a navy pant suit that she had bought and went out and bought another pink dress to be more in theme.

I don't have an official part of the wedding though so i don't think I am messing up a theme. Also I got the dress as it was neutral and made me feel good. It was also £150 and I just can't afford another one.

What should I do?

Wearing black over the summer is odd? Says who?
What summer?

I am seriously surprised at the polarisation of responses in this thread.

On a turnstile in a field in Wales. With some cattle watching

She wanted you to straighten your 3 year old child's Afro hair?
That is wrong on so very many levels.
She can do one.

Black to a wedding is strange tbh.

Me too op. I always thought it was an older generation/out of date thing. Could it be regional maybe? I have been to so many weddings where people wear black including members of the wedding party.
I don't know anyone who would consider it a sign that the person disapproved of the wedding.

I should have said 'people wore black'

Yeah well my daughters hair is more relaxed than mine but that isn't he point , she's 3 and erm, I like it natural? I think she was coming from a place of 'well the other three bridesmaids are coming to the hairdressers and my DD will want to have her hair 'done' too.

It does sound like she's gone full blown instagram bride!

'seriously rude' to wear black? Oh come on

This is so weird!! You can where whatever you want whenever you want, & no one has the right to tell you how to dress no matter what day it is!
Couldn't have given a shit what anyone wore at my wedding, the fact that they were there was all that mattered.
And black/navy are really popular choices these days for bridesmaid dresses, so how can it be deemed 'rude' to wear those colours to a wedding?!
OP I love your dress, I say definitely wear it! & with whatever accessories you want!

I meant wear, not where

FFS! The only colours you shouldn't wear at a wedding are white and ivory.

You're better than I am OP - I would have said "good one!" and laughed hysterically down the phone

My mum wore an ivory lace floaty jumpsuit thing to my wedding.It looked quite wedding dressy I suppose.She looked great in it, and I didn't care a jot.
I'm thinking I should have been far more bridezilla now as I seem to have missed out on all that
Maybe next time...

My DD had a black and white theme for her wedding. Myself and the bridesmaids wore black!

Never heard of not wearing black at a wedding - loads of women do it in my experience, including bridesmaids.

Why on earth would a bride and groom care what their guests are wearing, surely they're just pleased to see them on the day?

"Never heard of not wearing black at a wedding"

I'm assuming you were not brought up in the UK. It was an absolutely unbreakable shibboleth, because if the associations with funerals. In some other culture, white is never worn for the same reason.

Some people do wear black clothes, but that does not make it acceptable to many, and of course not to every bride. If you do not know the bride's opinion, it's iffy to choose black. When you know it's not welcome, you have to re-plan.

Some people won't care, but some will.

So why wear something that breaks a taboo that the bride sees as culturally important, just because you don't share that view?

After all, it's not as if outfits in colours are rationed or otherwise hard to come by

Does not wearing black also include men's suits? If it's all about the "it's bad manners/bad luck/funeral" aspect then surely they would be included?

Or is it simply (and yet again) "Telling women what to wear"

I've just checked my wedding guest photo. We had 98 guests. Most of the men are in black/charcoal grey suits. 3 women are wearing white or ivory. 2 of my sisters are in navy. One woman is in black and grey, one in black and bright pink, one in black with white flowers. The rest are in a mixture of colours, bright and pastel (and including black 'accents')

None stand out, none fade into the background. None made me on the day. They were our guests and I was just happy to have them there, celebrating with us.

Wearing a colour isrude?

Non traditional maybe.

But rude?

That's utter bollocks.

I despair of humans sometimes, I really do.

And. AND I don't see anyone telling the men not to wear black.

If you're talking proper traditional, men don't wear black either- it's grey morning coats for a wedding! And actually, men are much more constrained than women- women can wear any colour except black or white- men grey, grey or grey.

Not wearing black is very out of date. Look at a few dress sites for bridesmaids for example, loads of black dresses. From a personal viewpoint there's far worse colours, bright yellow or horrible floral monstrosities but I wouldn't say to guests that they can't wear them!

I'm assuming you were not brought up in the UK. It was an absolutely unbreakable shibboleth

I think that most of the people here saying that they didn't know about not wearing black were brought up in the uk. Perhaps we were brought up by people who didn't believe in pointless, unfounded superstitious, old fashioned nonsense.

This nonsense is why I don't like weddings.

Exactly Snickers
I'm glad I don't live in a cultural backwater where you are judged by wearing black.
This thread has been eye opening.