That you don't ask guests to change their wedding outfit?

[poopsqueak]

Got a phone call this morning from my brother (sheepishly) asking what I was wearing to his wedding.

I told him 'black dress' and asked why and he said his wife to be is worried ill either 'stand out' or 'fade into the background' and could I change it?

The wedding is in 2 weeks, I've had the dress for 2 months (no return period) and my mum (mother of the groom) has had the same call. My mum just said yes though. She had a navy pant suit that she had bought and went out and bought another pink dress to be more in theme.

I don't have an official part of the wedding though so i don't think I am messing up a theme. Also I got the dress as it was neutral and made me feel good. It was also £150 and I just can't afford another one.

What should I do?

Who decrees it though?
I clearly didn't get the memo.

Crispsheets, it was my mum. I'll send you the memo.

I don't do colours (another gothy type).

Nor do I get the 'not summery' thing - it's 40 degrees where I live this week, & I'm still in black. As are approximately 80% of the locals.

I might manage purple, red or dark green accessories to keep the peace, but pastels, nuh-huh. I'd look like Widow Twanky.

Fortunately db didn't object to the black top & rather nice navy silk skirt I wore to his summer wedding. Seem to recall my mother rocking up to both his & my weddings in her default wedding suit, which is navy. She might have treated us to the sight of a different blouse each .

"Who decrees it though?"

I did a quick google and it is everywhere.

Please tell your mum to wear the outfit. It sounds lovely and is accented with pastel colours, which will be totally acceptable.

Religious beliefs aside, why would you wear black when it is 40 degrees? Black absorbs heat. Everyone knows this. Don't they?

why would you wear black when it is 40 degrees?
you are not in the UK, are you?

If black and navy are good enough for the Royal Family, they are good enough for me!

why would you wear black when it is 40 degrees?

Seems to work for a lot of Arabic people.

Religious beliefs aside, why would you wear black when it is 40 degrees? Black absorbs heat. Everyone knows this. Don't they?

Have you been to Greece?

very bad form for a woman to wear black or white to a wedding. Basic etiquette.

That's considered very sexist in my opinion!

Black is a definite no. It echoes disapproval.

Maybe Kate and Pippa are not aware!

People wore black, red and white to my wedding. Do not know what the huge deal is.

I think it's dated about colours etc. I personally wouldn't wear white to a wedding and wouldn't wear a colour if asked not to.

I have been to a few weddings and even the bridesmaids have been in black.

"Religious beliefs aside, why would you wear black when it is 40 degrees? Black absorbs heat. Everyone knows this. Don't they?

Have you been to Greece?"

Yes, but I'm not accustomed to the heat, unlike the Greeks. I'm referring to Northern European people abroad. Why would you wear a colour that absorbs the heat if you aren't accustomed to it?

Because I've worn black for as long as I've chosen my own clothes iamastonished.

Yes, Arabic country.

Lots of floaty black cotton. Perfectly cool & comfortable.

Navy is fine.
I know black is inappropriate as I know a thong and full basque would also be inappropriate. I don't think anyone tells you, you just know.
There are of course different levels of inappropriate.

Love the dress OP, where's it from?!

I wore a black suit to my wedding. As did both the witnesses. DH wore a natty denim-blue suit. I think we all looked fabulous (young and thin mainly) and I wore a black dress to the last wedding I attended and felt good in it. I'm sure some people there thought it rude. It wasn't. It's just a colour and not one that means anything to anyone under 40 these days.
Good luck finding something bride-approved. Can you get neon pastel?? Is that a thing? Wear something extraordinary. Wishing your brother luck also, the poor bugger.

It's racism!

It's just a colour and not one that means anything to anyone under 40 these days.

I'm in my late twenties and think it's exceptionally rude. Thankfully, nobody was that rude at my own wedding.

Giddy aunt I hope not because she's white and I am black/mixed.

Seriously though I don't think it's that.

Do you really need to be told that wearing black to a wedding is considered odd? As is wearing black in the summer? Get over yourself and accessorise the dress with more summery colours.

MsJudgmental

Evidently so. I'm 47 and "needed to be told' (been to countless weddings too)

Rather a big assumption about The Summer too

This Thread: In Which We Learn That One Person's Very Rude is Another's Load Of Old Codswallop

I think black to a wedding us seriously naff.

Guests should only wear it if either they are in mourning (which orovpbably means ceremony only attendance) or if they know the bride is OK with it.

OP got it wrong, the bride isn't remotely OK with funeral colours at her wedding.

It's her own silly fault and of course she should wear something non-funereal.