That you don't ask guests to change their wedding outfit?

[poopsqueak]

Got a phone call this morning from my brother (sheepishly) asking what I was wearing to his wedding.

I told him 'black dress' and asked why and he said his wife to be is worried ill either 'stand out' or 'fade into the background' and could I change it?

The wedding is in 2 weeks, I've had the dress for 2 months (no return period) and my mum (mother of the groom) has had the same call. My mum just said yes though. She had a navy pant suit that she had bought and went out and bought another pink dress to be more in theme.

I don't have an official part of the wedding though so i don't think I am messing up a theme. Also I got the dress as it was neutral and made me feel good. It was also £150 and I just can't afford another one.

What should I do?

You don't have to be Einstein to realise that. Its common sense!

I just had to look online to see what Pippa Middleton's pageboys were wearing, and was delighted to see that the BBC website has a pic of one of them either flicking a V, picking his nose or, possibly both.

I don't think it's both though, as we all know that a Y chromosome makes multitasking impossible.

LakieLady 😂 That's a priceless photo. It does look as though he's doing both!

If you have had the dress for 2 months and not worn it you can exchange it.

How on earth can you state this as fact? If the op can exchange it or not depends on the shop.

welcome to 2017 TeenTan
no-one is forcing you to wear a specific colour you don't like.

Having a dress code is one thing, but demanding that someone changes their outfit at the last minute is so ridiculous. Bridezilla will look a mess on her wedding day if she doesn't calm down and enjoy what is suppose to be a lovely time.

Tell him you've bought another dress and send him a picture of a white meranguey wedding dress along with a note saying you hope it's ok

Cricket you missed the point there - the photo simply illustrates an eclectic mix of styles as opposed to a pre dictated dress code!!!

something low key, in pastel tones, as she likes pastel

Dolores

Or this:
Lovely PASTEL dress

X post!

babba

That's what I meant it was supposed to illustrate, yes ;)

Not wearing black is imo just... well, normal. Having a colour scheme however is rather ridiculous... (then again. I'm the one with a grandmother that brough back up dresses. DH has just said that he assumed she simply didn't trust "the English" )

I agree that for certain kinds of wedding it would be unusual to wear black, whereas for certain kinds of wedding it's fairly normal.

I think it is way ruder to dictate what guests at your wedding wear. Especially if they have already bought it

A couple who are marrying invite guests they want to make a lifelong public commitment in front of. They invite the person not the dress. I think it's rather vulgar to have a dress code and certainly very inappropriate to ask someone to change what they're wearing.Colour coordinated bridal parties look like tables set for a street party.
Black isn't a popular wedding colour but can look lovely if it something like linen with nude heels and a pretty hat.

Jesus Christ, I obviously missed the memo on not wearing black to a wedding at my own the other day

It's your brother so I would be tempted to suck it up and look for something else. Even if it is just a pastel blazer (River Island have a gorgeous blush pink one) and accessories.

I'm beginning to think it's an (for a better word) 'instagrammy' think I.e so that everything is very aesthetically pleasing.

They've definitely left it too late I think. I will accessorise brightly but I suspect not everyone who has been called will comply.

My mums outfit was beautiful though. A wide legged pant suit and a creamy silk blouse and lilac shoes and fascinator. Which is a shame.

If this girl is so insecure and has so little in her life that she is worrying about what her guests are wearing to the wedding, i wouldn't spend too much on a present.

Tell brother that sweetybumps needs to get a life and stop checking on everyone elses.

Even if you were planning a huge frilly white frock, then you would look silly, not her. There is no fashion police.

I always thought black and white were no-nos for weddings? Black is funeral colour and white (and variants of) are reserved for the bride. Even red I hear is generally considered not 'ok'.

The only thing female wedding guests should avoid is head to toe white/cream/ivory to avoid upstaging the bride. As I said at the start, head to toe black with black tights, black sleeves is a bit heavy for a summer wedding but a short sleeved dress with accessories in another colour look like wedding attire. Well done OP on sticking to your guns. i am so surprised by the number of women who would probably say they support feminism who are on this thread saying that women can't wear black when they know men will wear black suits. Wake up!!!!!!

I think it's rather vulgar to have a dress code

So we could wear fancy dress or swimsuit - maybe go as cheerleaders or -

There are loads of 'rules' about dressing for events - why else would schools have uniforms or the police? Why have evening dresses or shorts??

One more isn't that difficult to follow

if you go push it further:

white/ivory/cream/gold= huge no, bridal colours. At least that one is a given.
black/navy= no apparently
pastel colours= no, too bridesmaidy
bright colours=no, either bridesmaidy or too attention seeking

what exactly are you supposed to wear at a wedding then?

I wore a long black skirt and a cream lace jacket at my daughter's wedding. Her MiL turned up in black trousers and cream jacket too. We were a matching pair. My daughter (the bride) wore a fabulous Aubergine dress and had helped both me and MiL separately to choose our outfits. Not sure our outfits being almost the same was even on her radar.

strik Whatever the bridezilla wants apparently!

Astro

It's suggesting that people don't know what kind of clothes are appropriate, I imagine?

It doesn't bode well for the wedding or the marriage that the bride is getting her fiancee to ring his family and tell them what to wear.

youaredeluded if you read the thread you will see that half of us don't think this and about half do so it's not widely agreed that you avoid black at all. As for avoiding red I have never heard that before and have worn red to weddings.

As a pp said if you wear something inappropriate to a wedding YOU look silly not anyone else. People should be free to wear what they like and not have inferences made.

I find this thread really surprising. I have clearly been to an awful lot of weddings where quite a few of the guests disapproved, many probably didn't even know they disapproved!