That you don't ask guests to change their wedding outfit?

[poopsqueak]

Got a phone call this morning from my brother (sheepishly) asking what I was wearing to his wedding.

I told him 'black dress' and asked why and he said his wife to be is worried ill either 'stand out' or 'fade into the background' and could I change it?

The wedding is in 2 weeks, I've had the dress for 2 months (no return period) and my mum (mother of the groom) has had the same call. My mum just said yes though. She had a navy pant suit that she had bought and went out and bought another pink dress to be more in theme.

I don't have an official part of the wedding though so i don't think I am messing up a theme. Also I got the dress as it was neutral and made me feel good. It was also £150 and I just can't afford another one.

What should I do?

I am 40. Never heard of this thing about black at weddings. But hey ho.

You should wear this black one.

If my partners sister wore that trashy black hooker dress to my wedding I would hit the roof

You clearly have some very sedate hookers where you live.

Why would you 'hit the roof'? Would it stop you being married? Would you suddenly stop loving your partner?

black hooker dress

Your dress itself doesn't look especially wedding like in quality (might be the photo). It def doesn't look like it's worth £150. Could it be that your brother is trying to delicately allude to but he mentioned the colour?

The dress is lovely, nothing wrong with wearing black to a wedding! My bridesmaid and my mum both wore black to mine!

The fairly obvious reason women often wear black to weddings is that they already have black dresses/jackets/shoes so it's less expensive. If you get a coloured dress you then have the jacket/shoe/bag problem which ramps up the price.

This doesn't apply to the OP as she's specifically bought that dress, but obviously, she'd get much more wear out of it than a pastel outfit.

Auspiciouspanda

scottish

My grandmother would have make you wear one of the prepared backup dresses.

*would have made ;)

She had some prepared for our wedding. I'm not sure whether she simply didn't trust our guests or whether she does that for every wedding she helps organise.

Ha! Thats great CricketRuntAndRashers - I have never heard of back up dresses! I wonder if they are carted about in case of any social situation where someone isnt up to standard?

runloganrun101

Fashion critic? And wedding critic? What is "wedding quality" for you?

And the cost of clothes has nothing to do with their manufactured worth.

I quite honestly couldn't have told you what any guests wore to my wedding. I was so caught up in the day I don't think I'd have noticed a clown suit.

I was a bridesmaid last year and wore a gorgeous black Vera Wang dress. It looked fab!

scottishdiem

I have no idea. She also had extra pashminas for church....

Atlhough, I have no idea how she planned to accomodate all sizes.

It's also a bit sexist, I supppse...

I've never known in advance what the bridesmaids are wearing. A bit strange that you agree with the no white rule, but not the no black one.

White is what the bride wears probably 99% of the time. Of course everyone should not wear white. That's a given. Not comparable with wearing white.

Black? I don't get why anyone would give a shit? Some people think it looks morbid or dark or whatever, or associate it with a funeral, but it's not attention grabbing like someone arriving in pure white.

Often the colour scheme is incorporated in invitations so sometimes there is a clue. And I said a bridesmaid style dress in particular.

Trashy black Hooker dress! Ha ha 🙈 well funny. Have a

Anyway yes my brother rang all my aunts and cousins too so it is unlikely that this is about me- I really wanted to gauge what my options are and at least I've heard about the 'black to weddings' thing in the space of this thread.

I have literally wore black to the last 4 weddings I've attended though!

I think she's just panicking about everything really but I'm not sure how this helps (asking people to change)

Agree with others that it really isn't "done" to wear black (or white) to weddings.

That said, they've left it far too late to inform the entire guest list that there's a colour theme, so I would dress up the black with some suitable accessories and hold your head high.

If my partners sister wore that trashy black hooker dress to my wedding I would hit the roof

If I went to a wedding and was told the bride was angry about her SIL wearing that dress, I'd be much more likely to judge bride for said reaction than the SIL wearing the dress. If I heard she'd called it a trashy hooker dress it'd be prime wedding gossip material!

Just a thought...is the bride wearing black? Do you know she is definitely wearing a traditional wedding dress?

Ah yes she is wearing a slinky 'nightie' style ivory satin gown so deffos not a black dress.

I always ask what colours I can/can't wear to weddings, as I don't want to clash with the wedding party, however, if your SIL was fussy about what colour you and your DM were wearing she should have specified it months ago as your obviously going to have your outfit 2 weeks before! I personally wanted my SIL's and MIL to look like they blended in with my wedding party so they knew what colour the theme was and they checked the colours of their chosen outfits with me.

As you have the now dress you should wear it!

No wonder so many marriages end up in divorce when the bride is hysterical about completely irrelevant details. It's quite sad in a way.

Pippa obviously didn't ring around with a dress code for her guests!

Love the eccentricity of that!

I thought not wearing black was an old thing now. I have been to a couple of weddings in the last few months and there has been a lot of black dresses about, and obviously many men in black and charcoal too.

Traditionally it's bad manners for women to wear black to a wedding, but I don't see a problem with it, people wore black at my wedding, it was fine!

My mum always said it's "not done" for female guests to wear black or white to a wedding.

Mind you, in her eyes there were loads of faux pas when it came to clothes: a gentleman would never wear suede shoes in town, a lady would never go out without stockings until after Henley, that sort of thing. Odd really, for a woman who swore like a navvy and could emit farts that registered on the Richter scale.