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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be fed up of this aggressive baking

415 replies

JHMJHM · 20/05/2017 08:55

DH comes home at least once a month with yet another bakery offering from a woman he works with. I don't get when this became a thing? He defends it by saying how 'nice' it is and that she just likes 'making cakes' but I find it fucking odd and it really irks me.

To be honest I am queasy over other peoples baked goods- and I am sick of seeing her brownies seeping over my work surfaces. I don't get it at all and it boils my piss that DH cant see that it is WIERD. Why do people think they need to invest the time (and expense!) into feeding them their foul cakes? Its not like my DH is ill or thin, he is pretty robust.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
user1471545174 · 20/05/2017 09:31

I am too late, OP has been converted Grin

tiba · 20/05/2017 09:33

A male friend used to take baked goods home that some of the females in the office would bake sometimes.

(Not that often maybe once every few months)

His girlfriend hated it! She was uber jealous of him working with other females though Confused

Highalert · 20/05/2017 09:33

Someone at my DPs work bakes cakes for him to bring home. I love her.Her flapjack is to die for.

paxillin · 20/05/2017 09:34

Slowest ever cross post, I see OP is looking forward to meeting her own office baker.

Notsoyummi · 20/05/2017 09:35

I like to bake often if there is stuff over I will tell Dh to give to his work mates with their tea fresh baked goods don't stay fresh long so better to give away than throw out. I also have been known to bake for my parents and grown up siblings I like that they enjoy my cakes.

tigerdriverII · 20/05/2017 09:35

It's not nice, it's murder by cake

Wish I'd thought of that line, makes me think of this

LadyGlitterSparklesSeriously · 20/05/2017 09:35

I really want aggressive baking to be a thing.

Chicken4dinner · 20/05/2017 09:35

I bake cakes for our monthly team meetings. Last month I didn't have time and there was nearly a riot.

LagunaBubbles · 20/05/2017 09:36

Now this is aggressive baking!

to be fed up of this aggressive baking
to be fed up of this aggressive baking
Itsnotwhatitseems · 20/05/2017 09:38

Op, I will give you a different view on this.

My ex bf of 28 years started bringing home, home made carrot cake, lemon meringue pie that this colleague 'innocently' made him, now she is making them for him every day, they have set up home together!

Not saying this is the case for you, but you are wise to keep an eye on this, if she is making them for others that's fine, but if she has targeted just your man that's a little suspect.

Justdontgetitatall · 20/05/2017 09:41

You sound VERY controlling! It's his work surface too! If he wants them then he's entitled to bring them home and put them there!!

Get over yourself and stop trying to control your husband!!

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 20/05/2017 09:43

Waaaaah this is hilarious. Aggressive baking indeed! You sound positively unhinged. Does your husband have any idea how much this is upsetting you?

Justdontgetitatall · 20/05/2017 09:44

I think it's quite funny. Office gent on a tube with a cake on his knee!! Personally I'd be sending Thankyou cards to the lady if it were my DH (if I had one!) that was being given them! Yum!

Iamastonished · 20/05/2017 09:45

“Why do people think they need to invest the time (and expense!) into feeding them their foul cakes?”

What a weird response. What is your issue? You don’t have to eat the baking. Do you have issues with food or do you perceive this woman as a threat? Maybe she is practising on her workmates because she has a place in the next Bake Off. One of my friends used to work with a Bake Off contestant and she said he was always bringing his creations into work.

I occasionally bring baking into work. In fact people now ask me to. One of my team is leaving soon and he has hinted that she would like me to make a lemon drizzle cake.

“Am I the only one that thinks this is weird then?? I admit I don’t like cake at all”

Yep. You’re odd.

“We have people at work who are constantly baking too. I just accept their offerings with grace and then bin them on the way home. I don't eat sugary stuff.”

Why not just refuse the baking then? Hmm
Just tell the baker you don’t eat sugary stuff and let someone else have another cake. That is such a bizarre and wasteful thing to do.

“but I STILL don’t get the constant baking!! Its obsessive expensive and compulsive! I am clearly massively out of touch”

It doesn’t have to be expensive, and yes, you are massively out of touch. Are you not even aware of who Marry Berry is? Have you even heard of the GBBO? Baking as a hobby has massively taken off over the last few years.

“I would still find the whole dogged ritual bloody weird.”

It isn’t. It really isn’t. How long is it since you worked in an office with other people?

I suspect your husband enjoys her baking because he will never get home baked goods at home.

WomblingThree · 20/05/2017 09:46

I love baking and often send stuff to DH's work. It had honestly never occurred to me that it might upset someone. I mean, I suppose it's a bit of a weird thing to do when you think about it, but I enjoy making it and they enjoy eating it.

Strangely though, I wouldn't eat anyone else's baked goods (apart from my mother's). It's not a hygiene thing, as I'd happily eat dinner at someone's house, but the thought of other people's baking makes me queasy. It's so odd!

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 20/05/2017 09:48

All I can take from this thread is that you must have some serious underlying issues re your husband or cake or this other woman or a combination of the above. Your reaction is SO disproportionately angry!

MyOtherNameIsTaken · 20/05/2017 09:53

Aggressive baking! Grin

JHMJHM · 20/05/2017 09:58

Shit man it isn't a tantrum. I just don't want a load of stranger cake in my house every couple of weeks.

I have heard what everyone has said regarding it being 'nice' and all and believe me I am not a miserable bastard but cmon its too much. Also without sounding all 90s (because that is when I last worked in an office) it all just feels a bit... uhm.. unprofessional?? I get baking for charity or a PTA thing but not for work... do blokes ever bring in cakes?

Thanks user14 for not thinking I am mean and mad

OP posts:
corythatwas · 20/05/2017 09:59

How can something that happens once a month to every couple of weeks be obsessive and compulsive?

And how expensive is it to make a few brownies? Surely you can easily feed the whole office for the same money it would take to buy one single brownie in Costa?

As for those who think it's unhygienic- all I can say is, don't ever take a job in a cake factory. Or indeed in any factory that produces ready-made food. Just don't.

user1493630944 · 20/05/2017 09:59

I agree with you that it is weird. He should politely refuse any further gifts, citing your objection if necessary. Or just eat them in work.

Trills · 20/05/2017 09:59

Stranger cake - like the kind we were warned about as kids.

greeeen · 20/05/2017 09:59

Aggressive baking! excellent phrase. I wish DH had an aggressive baker at work.

corythatwas · 20/05/2017 10:01

As for the bloke thing, yes my dh used to bring his home baking into the office at times. Not obsessively and compulsively, just occasionally- like the woman in your dh's office.

FuckYouLinda · 20/05/2017 10:01

I love baking, and love to try out new cakes and flavours. But if I kept them all at home to eat, I'd be the size of a house and likely minutes away from a diabetic coma. So I bring some into work to share. I've no pets, always tie up my hair when in the kitchen and I've food safety qualifications so I'm confident my cakes are hygienic in that regard.

I started a rota for a charity bake every week in the run up to Christmas and it was wildly popular and we raised a whopper amount for charity. It brings a camaraderie to the office and there is not one person who has not brought in treats at this stage. It's totally changed the mood and atmosphere and probably even boosted team work and all that.

Cake is magic.

Now, if you really want to go aggressive, then I suggest you beat her at her own game. Start baking up a storm and send them in to knock her off the 'Star Baker' perch.

corythatwas · 20/05/2017 10:02

Oh and in my last job I had a male colleague who brought in his own baking for our fortnightly meetings. It was mouth-watering: recipes learnt from his Italian mother. I do miss those meetings. The rest of us made occasional offerings but tbh nobody could compete.