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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be fed up of this aggressive baking

415 replies

JHMJHM · 20/05/2017 08:55

DH comes home at least once a month with yet another bakery offering from a woman he works with. I don't get when this became a thing? He defends it by saying how 'nice' it is and that she just likes 'making cakes' but I find it fucking odd and it really irks me.

To be honest I am queasy over other peoples baked goods- and I am sick of seeing her brownies seeping over my work surfaces. I don't get it at all and it boils my piss that DH cant see that it is WIERD. Why do people think they need to invest the time (and expense!) into feeding them their foul cakes? Its not like my DH is ill or thin, he is pretty robust.

OP posts:
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7
StrangeLookingParasite · 20/05/2017 09:21

To be honest I am queasy over other peoples baked goods- and I am sick of seeing her brownies seeping over my work surfaces.

This is so odd.
Why do other people's baked goods make you queasy? Why would you think brownies would 'seep'?

I made a huge spiced apple cake yesterday - we had some older apples, and I thought I'd give it a go. I like baking; it's boring day to day cooking I don't like. If I could live on cake without getting scurvy I probably would.

MrsPeelyWaly · 20/05/2017 09:22

Still dont get it! I get hobbies and stuff but I STILL dont get the constant baking!! Its obsessive expensive and compulsive!

How people spend their money is absolutely nothing to do with you. And I would put money on your husband liking the cakes the woman bakes and you're green with envy because he does.

MyFavouriteName · 20/05/2017 09:22

Wha?
I get hobbies and stuff but I STILL dont get the constant baking!! Its obsessive expensive and compulsive! Eh?
I would still find the whole dogged ritual bloody wierd. Say what now?
.......
Nope, don't get it.

Teddy6767 · 20/05/2017 09:22

Your husband probably tells her how much he enjoys the cakes. And the fact he always takes them home with him will make her also think how much he likes them. Sounds like she's just doing a nice thing by baking for people at work twice a month. Why not just tell him to stop taking them home?! Or if he feels awkward then he could tell the woman he's trying to cut back on sweet things so won't be able to take any home but can enjoy a slice at work. It's not bloody rocket science and I don't get why you're allowing this situation to make you so angry. If your husband does enjoy eating the cake at home then just let him without moaning and stop being so controlling

wowfudge · 20/05/2017 09:22

You don't like cake and don't bake, but you are miffed that a woman who works with your DH likes baking and he likes what she makes enough to want to bring it home.

There's your answer - you're pissed off he likes cake and has deigned to bring some home. You sound rather controlling from your posts.

DontTouchTheMoustache · 20/05/2017 09:23

But she can only improve her baking by practising frequently. Perhaps she hopes one day to start her own cake business or maybe she just finds it very stress busting. Whatever her reasons it's her hobby and it's entirely up to your husband if he takes it home. I bet he secretly is swiping them up before anyone else gets a chance then pretending to you that he is doing it to spare her feelings Grin

DontTouchTheMoustache · 20/05/2017 09:23

But she can only improve her baking by practising frequently. Perhaps she hopes one day to start her own cake business or maybe she just finds it very stress busting. Whatever her reasons it's her hobby and it's entirely up to your husband if he takes it home. I bet he secretly is swiping them up before anyone else gets a chance then pretending to you that he is doing it to spare her feelings Grin

Trills · 20/05/2017 09:23

,user1474371557 Your friend makes a cake every month for someone that you work with?

That is weird. Did you see on this thread how many people asked "is she baking just for him"? It's because baking just for him is weird.

He is now in an awkward position. He is going to feel a sense of obligation and not know how to reciprocate. He may get fed up of that cake, and not be able to tell you.

FrenchMartiniTime · 20/05/2017 09:24

OP you win the award for the most completely ridiculous thing to be offended by.

I can't believe all this OTT annoyed bullshit over a woman who brings cake into your DH office. Do you not have a job or a hobby you could take up to fill your day?

I think your DH should run away with Betty Crocker and have a fun cream filled life!

Team Betty! Cake

Februaryjones · 20/05/2017 09:24

Yanbu OP. I can't stand it when people bring homemade stuff into work. There's no way I'm going to eat something when I've never visited their home and don't know what their hygiene standards are. They might have cats that walk all over their kitchen surfaces. Have some nice shop bought Cake

topcat2014 · 20/05/2017 09:25

We call it the 'ever giving shelf' in our office - if the shelf ran out of biscuits or cakes, there would be uproar.

I can't bake (at least, not the type to give outside the family) so only take biscuits in.

Mind you, nothing lasts long enough to 'take home' we're greedy pigs

topcat2014 · 20/05/2017 09:26

I don't get the hygiene paranoia either, cakes are baked at 100's degrees surely.

RechargableCattery · 20/05/2017 09:26

How is DH transporting these cakes home?
I think the baker woman is pursuing your DH in the sense that she wants him to eat her cakes at the very least, and IMO that's bizarre in itself.
There must be a sub-plot to this, surely. Confused

YANBU. I would put them straight in the bin.

Original poster
JHMJHM · 20/05/2017 09:26

Caked-up :)

Been well and truly told here! I honestly didnt even realise people ate cakes in offices everyday! Honestly! I work from home and I have done for so long I obviously have no idea of real life now. I might go back to working in an office - sounds alright

OP posts:
Teddy6767 · 20/05/2017 09:27

It's not every day though! You said it was twice a month

Serialweightwatcher · 20/05/2017 09:28

I'd think she fancied him if it were me though - one bun or slice of cake every so often or to eat at work yes, but lots of baked goods regularly is odd considering time and money to make these items just to give them away repeatedly. I bake but only give full cakes/stacks of buns away for special reasons - wouldn't have the oomph to do it regularly (plus this woman works) for anything other than a 'get round someone' pressie.

PoorYorick · 20/05/2017 09:28

I'm getting tired of all this disappointment. First I click on a thread about a 'stunt pineapple' only to find it's not about launching exotic fruit off clifftops, and now I click on one about 'aggressive baking' and it's not about a new sport where people joust using French loaves and Victoria sponges for swords and shields.

I want my money back.

Mummyoflittledragon · 20/05/2017 09:29

Would you rather be someone, who is a bit nasty with rigidity, who struggles to see others POV? Or someone, who is tolerant and understanding?

Your first couple of posts were coming over as the former btw. Glad to see you're gaining a little perspective. Smile

user1471545174 · 20/05/2017 09:29

YANBU, OP!

And I even get your tone, and the exclamation marks.

Offices used to be a bought-cake hazard zone on birthdays or when people returned from holiday. Now they are experimental baking labs with supplies of giant home-cooked goodies arriving daily, for no reason at all other than, presumably, to celebrate the sedentary life. Ingesters groan about their weight issues as they fill up on cake before eating some sad-looking leaves at lunchtime.

I have taken a stand against daily office cake. I have a sweet tooth and can gain 3lb by looking at cake. When tempted, I think about the Mumsnet thread about people not washing their hands after changing babies, grooming dogs and going to the toilet. I then impute all these bad habits to my cooking colleagues, to save me from their endless, pointless, "nice" cake.

So YANBU, YANBU, YANBU, OP. And you are cross with your husband because he doesn't agree with you and is falling for the "nice" argument.

It's not nice, it's murder by cake.

WaitroseCoffeeCostaCup · 20/05/2017 09:30

Aren't you a ray of sunshine op? I sometimes leave bunches of flowers, chocolates or books with a note telling the finder to enjoy them around our village. Being nice makes me happy. You probably think that's very weird.

Ceebeegee · 20/05/2017 09:30

It's quite normal for a regular cake day in the office nowadays, especially after the explosion of GBBO.
We have one in ours we nickname the "feeder" because they bring in a bake every month. :)

treaclesoda · 20/05/2017 09:30

Some people love baking. Marian Keyes wrote a book 'Saved by Cake' where alongside the recipes she wrote about how she used baking as something to battle her depression. The precision of it all, the challenge of getting it just right, kept her mind occupied and really helped her. She says in the book that she was forcing cake on anyone who came near her as she wanted to bake so much that there was just no way on earth that she could actually eat what she baked.

Maybe your husband's colleague just really likes baking. Maybe she finds it therapeutic. Maybe she knows that she is good at it and people enjoy eating it and it gives her a boost. Nothing wrong with that.

tigerdriverII · 20/05/2017 09:30

topcat2014

If you saw my friend's kitchen, you'd think again. I love her dearly but am only in touch intermittently and have to say when I saw her kitchen recently I was like this :ShockShockSmile.

She just doesn't see it and is a prolific cook but I'd run a mile from anything other than a coffee served up at her place.

paxillin · 20/05/2017 09:30

Obsessive and compulsive, aggressive baking. She's just doing something nice for everyone at work. Your tantrum about it is mean spirited and ugly.

kmc1111 · 20/05/2017 09:31

So she bakes something for the office every few weeks and that makes her baking obsessive and compulsive? Seriously?

Something like brownies takes no time at all to make, and very little money. I think you're massively overestimating the effort she's putting in here.