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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To use the disabled loo when I'm with my son?

999 replies

RestingBitch · 19/05/2017 17:06

My sons 9 months and obviously still in his pushchair. The majority of the time it's just me and him when I go into town/visit places. When I need the loo I get an attack of conscious, I normally use the disabled loo so I can bring him in with me.
Can't use a regular loo as I can't get him in the cubicle in his chair. Don't want to take him out of his pushchair and plonk him on the floor as the floors are manky and he will eat whatever is on the floor. He'll also probably try and crawl under the gap and interrupt someone else. Don't really like the idea of leaving him in his pushchair whilst I nip in the cubicle, so providing there isn't someone waiting for the disabled loos, AIBU to use them? I'm usually in and out and so far I've never encountered anyone waiting for one, or the impatient rattle of the door. If I am being unreasonable, short of pissing myself what's the options?

Not a troll, and don't work for any newspapers :).

OP posts:
DayMoth · 22/05/2017 09:53

That should have read 'I don't think it's better'!

MrsPeelyWaly · 22/05/2017 09:55

shock I don't even know where to begin. That is so unbelievably selfish and unreasonable

I'm actually hoping it's a windup because anything else would be too deplorable for words.

But that said I did have to wait so long to access a loo at with my disabled son at Lego land that I had to call attendants to see what was going on. When the door was opened by the mum ( on the insistence of the staff) who was inside, her 4 kids were looking pretty miserable, but she was looking really happy because she'd been in their changing into her new top and putting her make up on. She really was surprised by the fuss the staff made about it.

BeyondStrongAndStable · 22/05/2017 10:29

That one has been mentioned on these threads before. Always makes me Confused because the majority of toilets for disabled people don't have mirrors (well, why would a disabled person need to look in a mirror...)

StarHeartDiamond · 22/05/2017 10:30

I think we all know what the spirit of disabled/accessible toilets are for and that's for people who have a genuine physical personal reason to use them. Everyone else should stay out.

If there's a baby change table in there and you need to change the baby, that's it's purpose. If your baby doesn't need changing, don't use them even if you have the baby with you.

You don't have to bring an entire buggy in a normal cubicle. Choose a far end cubicle and park it up so you can see the buggy with the door a little bit open. If you are changing sanpro, get your things ready and do it just behind the door (still ajar) when your head is literally 24 inches away from the buggy. Nobody else is interested.

StarHeartDiamond · 22/05/2017 10:33

Oh and if you are changing a baby in an accessible toilet with a baby change table - do it quickly! Don't also use it to check your makeup, text, sort out shopping or snacks. Change your baby quickly and vacate!

MrsPeelyWaly · 22/05/2017 10:38

**

That one has been mentioned on these threads before. Always makes me confused because the majority of toilets for disabled people don't have mirrors (well, why would a disabled person need to look in a mirror...)*

It wasn't mentioned by me and I haven't seen it referred to here either.

Ref the mirrors. You are kidding?

BeyondStrongAndStable · 22/05/2017 10:51
Confused "she'd been in their changing into her new top and putting her make up on"
BeyondStrongAndStable · 22/05/2017 10:52

Rand sadly I'm not kidding. It is getting better in newer toilets, but there are still many without mirrors

BeyondStrongAndStable · 22/05/2017 10:52
  • and, not rand!
MrsPeelyWaly · 22/05/2017 11:14

Rand sadly I'm not kidding. It is getting better in newer toilets, but there are still many without mirrors

my son is 26 and I can't say that's been our experience.

kali110 · 22/05/2017 11:20

This reply has been deleted

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Blazingpups · 22/05/2017 11:24

daymoth has hit the nail on the head that you don't know what's going on in people's lives. It really is that simple.

I've explained my reasons for using the disabled loo, twins, double buggy etc

It seems fine to assume that a mum always has someone available to go shopping with her and is able to hold her bladder or bowel indefinitely.

As a mother who struggled with severe anxiety and spent every day by myself with my twins getting out everyday was a saviour for me. Where the facilities weren't suitable for me I use the ones which are and as I'm aware I may impact on somebody else I do all I can to minimise that impact.

Once again a thread has descended into a witch hunt against mothers.

SynysterGates · 22/05/2017 11:36

"Once again a thread has descended into a witch hunt against mothers."

talk about othering I am a mother. a lot of the posters who are disabled are mothers. or don't we count now?

BeyondStrongAndStable · 22/05/2017 11:40

I am a mother.

I'm also sure I've written "parent" not "mother" in every post of mine.

Mothers aren't the only people who look after kids, you know.

Blazingpups · 22/05/2017 11:40

Synster, the fact that that's the only sentence you took from my post says a lot more about you and your agenda than it does me.

Blazingpups · 22/05/2017 11:42

Beyond, it's quite simply a statistically proven fact that it's predominantly mothers who pick up the majority of childcare rather than fathers.

MommaGee · 22/05/2017 13:02

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mychilddoesntlookdisabled · 22/05/2017 13:05

Old dears!!?

This is the thread that just keeps on giving.

MommaGee · 22/05/2017 13:05

Change your baby quickly and vacate! and if I can't change him quickly, what? Leave him in vomit soddeb clothes? I actually tend to do longer jobs like this with the door unlocked so I can either give an estimated time or if he's at least undressed bring him out and then go back in

MommaGee · 22/05/2017 13:07

Sorry OP, hadn't occured to me that was an offensive phrase... I apologies.

More room for moms, old ladies with huge trollies

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 22/05/2017 13:15

Most places with no baby change or a flimsy board over the sinks could easily have two cubicles knocked in to 1 for parents / old dears with those huge trollies etc. But they're not because parents of babies/toddlers as a demographic are so very unimportant

This is a thread that keeps on giving.

I need the space. I am not an 'old dear'

I think this thread shows actually that it is those with disabilities as a demographic are so very unimportant.

It seems that disability campaigners fight for rights then 'entitled' parents decide they are going to take them over.

Disabled toilets, bus spaces for starters.

MNHQ
KatherineMumsnet · 22/05/2017 13:29

Hi all,

We're sorry it's taken us a while to get through reports on individual posts. Can we remind everyone that we don't allow disablism – not only is it against our TG's, we also think that such posts don't fit with Mumsnet's basic philosophy of support and advice for all parents.

Our This Is My Child campaign has lots of information about the ways that people can make life a bit easier for disabled children and their parents. Mumsnet's aim is to make lives easier – please do take a look.

We'll continue to remove posts that break TGs and if there's anything we've missed, please do let us know by hitting the 'report' button.

kali110 · 22/05/2017 13:36

KatherineMumsnet
Be nice that people who repeatedly said disablist things weren't able to post Hmm

MommaGee · 22/05/2017 13:39

piglet then you're under the etc not excluded from the need to use a larger toilet. The point is if they knocked two cubicles into one then it would be big enough for anyone who needed it without of course affecting the provision of a toilet for those with disabilities

BeyondStrongAndStable · 22/05/2017 13:40

50 posts til the thread is full.

So be nice in those 50 posts please people :)

Swipe left for the next trending thread