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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To use the disabled loo when I'm with my son?

999 replies

RestingBitch · 19/05/2017 17:06

My sons 9 months and obviously still in his pushchair. The majority of the time it's just me and him when I go into town/visit places. When I need the loo I get an attack of conscious, I normally use the disabled loo so I can bring him in with me.
Can't use a regular loo as I can't get him in the cubicle in his chair. Don't want to take him out of his pushchair and plonk him on the floor as the floors are manky and he will eat whatever is on the floor. He'll also probably try and crawl under the gap and interrupt someone else. Don't really like the idea of leaving him in his pushchair whilst I nip in the cubicle, so providing there isn't someone waiting for the disabled loos, AIBU to use them? I'm usually in and out and so far I've never encountered anyone waiting for one, or the impatient rattle of the door. If I am being unreasonable, short of pissing myself what's the options?

Not a troll, and don't work for any newspapers :).

OP posts:
Northgate · 22/05/2017 08:17

Of course it's difficult, often impossible, manovering a baby into a normal toilet cubicle.

But when it comes down to it, if there's no disabled cubicle available - either because it's occupied or because it's got a radar lock - and there is a standard ladies toilet cubicle available, as an able bodied adult with a pushchair, there's choices I can make that will avoid me wetting my pants or soiling myself. Choices which have been frequently mentioned upthread. A disabled person doesn't have those choices. I can leave the pushchair at the toilet door. They don't have the option of being able to leave their disability at the toilet door.

I mean, serious question here to all the parents adamant that there's no way they could leave their DC outside the toilet door - if there wasn't a disabled toilet option, would you really choose to wet yourself or shit your pants rather than, e.g. leave the pram outside the cubicle door for 30 seconds or any of the other possible solutions suggested on this thread?

HomeDesire2017 · 22/05/2017 08:18

I don't think the majority of people on this thread would use an accessible toilet just to avoid a queue or because they have a rucsack! Hmm

But having a 9 month old baby is different! I'd like to see you change your tampon whilst holding a 9 month dc!

I also think that if a mother was waiting to use the accessible toilet and another person joined the queue, she would let that person go first!

JustAnotherSilentOldNumber · 22/05/2017 08:18

Disabled toilets are there so people with disabilities can have the same standard of living as you, So they can take care of their toileting needs while outside. It's not there so you can REALLY STRUGGLE and queue jump.

Sirzy · 22/05/2017 08:18

Exactly north great post.

And I am glad this thread has made at least one poster re-evaluate things.

HomeDesire2017 · 22/05/2017 08:19

JustAnotherSilentOldNumber Holding in your wee does cause infection, just saying...

JustAnotherSilentOldNumber · 22/05/2017 08:19

I don't think the majority of people on this thread would use an accessible toilet just to avoid a queue or because they have a rucsack!

someone hasn't read the thread.

JustAnotherSilentOldNumber · 22/05/2017 08:20

Holding in your wee does cause infection, just saying...

and an over flowing catheter can cause an infection... to OTHER PEOPLE.

HomeDesire2017 · 22/05/2017 08:21

I said majority - since when is one or two people on a 35 page thread the majority?

JustAnotherSilentOldNumber · 22/05/2017 08:21

There is absolutly no comparision

JustAnotherSilentOldNumber · 22/05/2017 08:21

since when is one or two people on a 35 page thread the majority

When the same thread is repeated on AIBU ever few months.

lavei · 22/05/2017 08:22

Right, I have Crohn's disease and as a result I use the disabled toilet when I have my child with me because I tend to take a bit longer to sort myself out and also I use all the space in a cubicle so there is no room for me to bring my son in as well.
I have been screamed at by people who have seen me come out of the disabled toilet because I don't have an obvious disability. I don't event bother to correct them now or explain my reasons why I use that facility. I have been abused by a wheelchair user saying the 'accessible' toilet is for people in chairs, not just any old disability. So by using their argument, pushchairs are allowed!

I don't begrudge any parent who uses the facility. If it's a parent wanting a quick wee with a small baby in a pushchair, they'll be a couple of minutes max, no longer than I'd need to wait for another disabled person using the toilet. I would rather not kick off and demand that parents leave their small babies unattended rather than using the empty accessible toilet just because it's my 'right'.

HomeDesire2017 · 22/05/2017 08:23

Of course there is, if someone pisses their pants it's embarrassing whether your disabled or not. No one should have to but just because you are disabled doesn't mean someone else should piss their pants just INCASE you might come along and piss yours.

JustAnotherSilentOldNumber · 22/05/2017 08:24

No one should have to but just because you are disabled doesn't mean someone else should piss their pants just INCASE you might come along and piss yours.

They have the option of another toilet!

HomeDesire2017 · 22/05/2017 08:25

JustAnotherSilentOldNumber but they don't always do that's the point!

JustAnotherSilentOldNumber · 22/05/2017 08:26

but they don't always do that's the point!

Yes they do. even if they have to wait.

JustAnotherSilentOldNumber · 22/05/2017 08:27

it might be slightly inconvenant, but it's a choice it's not a need.

A lot of disabled people don't have this choice, they have one toilet they can use.

lavei · 22/05/2017 08:28

@JustAnotherSilentOldNumber using the toilet is a need, not a choice.

JustAnotherSilentOldNumber · 22/05/2017 08:28

A disabled toilet isn't a luxury it's a necessity

JustAnotherSilentOldNumber · 22/05/2017 08:29

using the toilet is a need, not a choice.

an abled bodied perosn does not NEED to use a disabled toilet.

HomeDesire2017 · 22/05/2017 08:29

JustAnotherSilentOldNumber What should a lady with twins do? Please elaborate! Its about space for a pushchair so women their own don't have to leave their babies unattended...

Waiting isn't always an option if you've been out for a while or recently given birth! But hey it's okay that she has to piss herself because she's not disabled?

BeyondStrongAndStable · 22/05/2017 08:30

They do in the example being discussed.

waits for Home to say "but sometimes there's one toilet in a small cafe" or "but sometimes it's a babychange too"...

JustAnotherSilentOldNumber · 22/05/2017 08:31

Waiting isn't always an option if you've been out for a while or recently given birth! But hey it's okay that she has to piss herself because she's not disabled?

Fucking hell....

JustAnotherSilentOldNumber · 22/05/2017 08:31

mumsnet HQ are wankers.

JustAnotherSilentOldNumber · 22/05/2017 08:31

i bet that gets deleted

HomeDesire2017 · 22/05/2017 08:32

JustAnotherSilentOldNumber No answer?