AIBU to live apart from partner to be financially better off?

[Sunshineroses90]

I currently live with my partner, I'm planning on coming out of work to raise our child. This is partly due to ridiculous childcare costs I'd be £200+ per month out of pocket and I down to the fact I'm the lowest earner out of myself and my partner so it makes more sense for me to lose my wage as opposed to him.

We've been discussing tonight him going back to live with his parents/grandmother in order for me to have a better income and to be entitled to more benefits, we want to prevent living off the bones of our backsides his wage wouldn't cover us and bills (he earns £1000-1200 per month). We wouldn't qualify for much if we put a joint claim in hence wanting to live apart. Is this wrong? All of our family members work full time so nobody to rely on to babysit our child.

It's not just a matter of overnight stays, sharing a bed or shagging. They would look into whether you share meals, whether shopping is done jointly, whether you socialise together or even just watch tv together in the evenings.

Christ. It is quite scary how open to interpretation being " a couple" is. I had a letter from HMRC asking if I was still single. I called them to say, well I do have a boyfriend (thanks for asking) but yes, still the only adult living in my house.
They told me that even if two people in a relationship have separate households (with their own rent/bills etc) if they were considered to be acting like a couple (as in the quote above) then tax credits to the single parent could be stopped.
I don't live with my boyfriend (God forbid!) but we do sometimes go to the supermarket together. We sometimes cook together. Of course we watch TV when he's here!
If they decided that this meant I was no longer a lone parent, he might have to move in to my house, as money would be so very tight.
I'm just pointing out that, for all the frothing, and the conviction that everybody is defrauding, far more women could be put in a situation whereby they end up being forced into cohabitation with men they don't know well enough.
I'm sure the government spends far more money on scrutinising people's domestic arrangements than they save on benefit fraud.

And PMSL at the "does he work part time" comments
1200 a month is around 17k a year. That's about £8.50 an hour. Lots and lots of people earn less!

Anyway, don't do it OP, it's not worth it. keep your job (for your own security and job prospects) and claim the childcare element of WTC.

Here is some info about maintenance as i mentioned.

"If you are a receiving parent (parent with care, 2003 scheme) and get any social security benefits, you will be able to keep all child maintenance paid as it does not affect any of the benefits you claim. It will also not affect any housing benefit or tax credits awards you receive."

So, not just tax credits but all benefits.

The partner earns more than 12,000 before tax .

Meanwhile, in the media, the idea that people earning over 80K should pay more tax is being shot down as jealousy because apparently an 80K salary isn't that much...

There has to be some way to deal with situations where couples have split (or 'split') or where the dad has just fucked off (appreciate that's not the case here) so that the bloke doesn't end up living well supported at his parents while the woman does all the work and the taxpayer covers the costs. Maybe the parents in those situations should be required to pay up.

Is this wrong?

Err yes.

This is partly due to ridiculous childcare costs I'd be £200+ per month out of pocket

Only £200+ a month? Gosh you've got a good deal there. I was paying £180 a week 10 years ago for one DD!

I think she means childcare would cost £200+ more than she earns, not it would cost 200 in total.

The nurseries around here r used to charge around £50 a day (and that was ten years ago) so unsure what it is now.

People splitting up / single mums are top of the list to be checked as it's a fraud that's in theory easy to do but also easy to catch out . As so much is on credit files in this day and age .So it's a blue print of sorts to your life and very hard evidence if your caught out

As a genuine single parent myself, I only wish they were! I can count on both hands the amount of people I know of who either claim as a) a single parent on benefits or b) a single working parent. Both have been living with the 'absent father' for years and have been getting away with it for years. Also, before I'm jumped on I know how some suffer financial abuse and they do this in desperation but there are people who swan about with the best of both worlds just because they can.
Also, not sure how credit files can catch them out, most 'absent fathers' doing this, claim they live at their parents so the credit files will be there instead, so a bit pointless really.

Because your yearly income has dropped by 5000 or more they only assess your new circumstances.

This.

It is not true that they 'go on last year's earnings' if you have had a massive change in financial circumstances.

I was entitled to Child Tax Credits immediately after I lost my job (ill health) and my marriage broke down, even though I'd earned almost £40k the previous year.

Work out exactly what your incomes are, down to the penny - include everything.
Then contact the tax credits people and put in a claim based on your current circumstances.

Please don't play the system - that's what makes it harder for people when they actually, genuinely need the system^^ (as you do now).

As a short term solution it might be OK. Not indefinitely though.

I think she means childcare would cost £200+ more than she earns, not it would cost 200 in total.

Even so blackteasplease. She won't be doing anything other than several other working parents are having to do every week. Yes it sucks but it is what it is.

Why isn't he working full time?

And where does it say the OPs partner isnt working full time, or works part time? It doesnt. So a rather judgemental post based on assumption. Do some people on here live in a different universe and dont realise there are a lot of low paid full time jobs out there?

PS I am a single mother and I a mother far far better off in work than claiming income support. Many times over. I assure you it is not a good way to live

Exactly PookieDo . I've never understood the whole better off on benefits argument. The most financially comfortable I remember being was when both me and the Ex were both in work.

They told me that even if two people in a relationship have separate households (with their own rent/bills etc) if they were considered to be acting like a couple (as in the quote above) then tax credits to the single parent could be stopped.

Yes, and the reason they are probably having to do this is because the amount of people who try to get around it by using this 'loophole'.

It's not fraud unless he stays at your house. It's not 100% morally right but it's also not right people earn so little and housing costs are so high etc

And I'm glad it's not fraud because otherwise we would live in a country where women are forced to live with partners they don't want to and never be able leave abusive partners. And single
Mothers should and can be able to date who they want without the state having a say in how they conduct their relationship.

Pretty shitty way to live though.

I think Concentrix have been sacked now.

Plus I actually hate people that do this. Because it's these type of claimants that make genuine claimants have to jump through hoops like I had to

This x100.

I've had my money cut and I'm having to jump through hoops despite the fact the DWP got sent a thick file on my mental health and my physical health to get it reinstated. Its what has prevented me from re-applying for PIP despite the fact I was in so much pain with my back this morning, I came back in from the school run and cried before the painkillers kicked in. I still have to do it all again later. I could be earning ten times over what I currently get if I was at work but yay for you OP! You've found a loophole!

Tax credits are being transferred to Universal credits anyway between 2019 and 2022, anyway, and think this may mean more checks as well, not sure though. I think it means having to go in and sign an agreement or something.

Yes we have been fighting for PIP / ESA too as well, and it is a nightmare at times, had to get out MP to help, it is not easy is it.

It doesn't help anyone when people claim fraudulently.

Yes, and the reason they are probably having to do this is because the amount of people who try to get around it by using this 'loophole'.
But it's not a loophole if you are just in a relationship, but not actually living together, and yet HMRC can still decide that, purely due to the fact you are in a sexual relationship, you are, therefore "a couple".
(I know that is not the case with OP, just saying).
The lady on the phone told me that even if two people each have their own households/council tax/energy bills, if they are deemed "together" enough (by HMRC) they will cut off the lone parents tax credits.
I think this is fucking sinister! I asked if had to report it to them every time I date someone new. The response wasn't conclusive...

There is a big differance though between dating someone who is not the father of your children and giving it some time before you decide to move in together etc,and having your boyfriend the father's of your child/children live seperatley for extra money

away I don't think she would be doing anythinf more than many parents. I was responding to a specific poster who l, it appeared, thought this was the whole cost.

Of course there is x2boys, but it seems that HMRC don't nessecarily see it that way.

Of course IfNot but this isn't what the OP is doing, as you so rightly said yourself.