AIBU to live apart from partner to be financially better off?

[Sunshineroses90]

I currently live with my partner, I'm planning on coming out of work to raise our child. This is partly due to ridiculous childcare costs I'd be £200+ per month out of pocket and I down to the fact I'm the lowest earner out of myself and my partner so it makes more sense for me to lose my wage as opposed to him.

We've been discussing tonight him going back to live with his parents/grandmother in order for me to have a better income and to be entitled to more benefits, we want to prevent living off the bones of our backsides his wage wouldn't cover us and bills (he earns £1000-1200 per month). We wouldn't qualify for much if we put a joint claim in hence wanting to live apart. Is this wrong? All of our family members work full time so nobody to rely on to babysit our child.

WTAF!!!

From an ethical point of view, if you believe benefits should be there as a safety net, then YABU in this instance because you are seeking to exploit them to their maximum rather than using them to stay out of poverty, in my opinion.

If your partner lives away to train, that's his choice but it is a long distance relationship. I assume for the benefits you would represent it as a break up - if so, that makes it fraud, both legally and morally.

They do get caught. You just don't hear it about it unless it's a big news story.I have a close relative in one of these departments and a lot of people aren't as clever as they think they are and are eventually caught or investigated. Many many people are on repayment plans for overpayments they were not entitled to (myself included and mine was just a mess up with emails and PDF's)
You have to submit all your financial documentation for housing benefit and if they don't like something they won't pay it to you until it's crystal clear. They also will suspend it if they get any info from HMRC etc

How did you expect to support a child?

I must be a grumpy old woman but I wonder why you would think this is a good time to have a child? Why not wait until your DP is skilled, earning more and then bring a child into an economically more viable situation. If DP is only 20, you have time on your side to build a stronger financial basis, rather than indulging in fraudulent behaviour like you're suggesting.

And by the way, the danger would be all yours. The claim would be in your name so it is you they would prosecute if they believed it to be fraud, your boyfriend would walk away scot free. Bit of a silly risk if you have a young baby.

Let me rephrase your question OP.

Is it OK for me to commit benefit fraud?

Answer - NO

I sympathise with that feeling that you are constantly trying to keep your head above water. I have been there and you end up considering things that you wouldn't do normally.

However being a single parent is tough, I have done it. If your relationships is a warm and loving one surely you would all benefit from being together - especially your child.

I would also ask yourself - would you happily tell the council of your plan? If not it isn't ethical or even legal.

Putting aside the OP for a moment. I'm gobsmacked that people think that 1-1.2k must mean that he works part time. My Dh earns very little over that (after TAx and NI etc) and he's an NHS ambulance driver. The worlds people must live in.

Why can't people just take responsibility and decide to have a baby when it's a financially viable option for them.

OP it is wrong to do what you are suggesting. But the system is so easy to abuse, and this is a very frequent occurence I'm sure! You won't be better off as a sahm, believe me. I'm a sahm, I can only do this because dh earns a good wage. If I had gone back to work, his salary would have exempted us from tax credits, the lot. In your case though, you will get tax credits (for now). Don't give up your job, you cannot afford to. YOu'll probably qualify for the 2 year old childcare funding also. You need your partner with you, it's good for the family unit and your relationship.

20 hours a week @ min wage = £600 pm
£37.5 hours per week @ min wage = £1125 or there abouts.

What planet are some people on?

Usually id be but as hes a low earner you have my sympathy. Have you considered that you would get tax credits to reimburse you of your childcare costs? You might get 70% back, I'm not sure. It depends on a lot.of factors, check the .Gov website.

If you really can't afford it, then there's not much else you can do, but it's unethical to not try. At least do the maths and see what money you actually need.

Just to warn you, benefit fraud has £3000 fines.

Yeah that's a great idea OP. Why don't we all do it? Then all the sahm's and their kids can be supported by the state and our partners can keep what they have earned. I wonder how long it will take before the money pot dries up completely if we all do what you suggest??

Alternatively you could both keep working and saving until you have enough money to support your own family - the same as most responsible parents do........

I don't know why everyone is asking why on earth the OP had a baby as if it's a decision that can be undone. Baby is here, can't be sent back, therefore the rights and wrongs if having a baby is irrelevant.

OP, if your partner is contributing financially and will still be staying with you when he is home then he is still classed as living with you and you'd still be a couple for benefits purposes as the separation is not likely to be permanent. Things they look at to help them decide whether you are classed as living together are:

• who pays the bills? Are any of them in joint names? (FYI, compliance officers are able to check things like utility bills to see if your usage of gas/electricity/water is consistent with the number of people you claim are living in the house)
• are you known locally to be a couple?
• is leisure time spent together?
• if he stays at the house, where is he sleeping? If you're not a couple, is he paying you rent?

They have a huge list of things to consider, all available on the gov.uk website for anyone who wants to read it, and from what you've posted you would fail virtually every single one.

Tax Credits will take a current year income figure from you. On the claim for twelfth you put your income from the last tax year but once it's sent back and on their system you just phone up and tell them that your income for this tax year will be an estimated £xxx and they'll amend the amount that you receive.

Are you definitely claiming everything you're entitled to? For childcare costs do you use a childminder or a nursery? Childminders are often cheaper than nursery and so long as you meet the minimum hours requirement you will be able to claim the childcare element of tax credits which can help with up to 70% of the costs. Are your outgoings as low as you can get them? Things like meal planning and going down a brand (e.g., swapping heinz for own brand) when food shopping can help. Call your utility companies and check that you're on the cheapest tariffs based on your usage, do an online price comparison for gas/electricity/phone to see if anyone can offer it cheaper. If you're paying back any debts then call the companies involved and see if you can negotiate a slightly lower monthly repayment, it'll take a little longer to pay it back but if you're struggling then you need the cash now, for example if you're paying £50 a month on a debt and your struggling explain it to them and offer £30 instead. Do you have any skills that you could use in a home job? People per hour and Lionbridge both free work from home opportunities if you have clerical skills, if you drive then you could look at freelance delivery work in your area (I know someone who does this and takes the baby with her), it might not be steady work or highly paid but every little will help.

Mostly though, keep going OP. It's not forever and it will get better if you keep plugging away, especially once your DP is qualified and can move into a higher paid job. When DH and I first started out we didn't have much and what we did have was almost all spent by the day after payday but little by little we kept chipping away and we kept climbing and improving and keeping on at it so that now we're comfortable. I'm not wiping my backside with tenners or eating my morning cornflakes out of a golden bowl but we have enough nowadays for the things we need plus the things we want. You'll get there too

Prior to you going part time , you said you earned more than him? Around £1500 a month? Is there a possibility of you going back to that job and for DP to go part time....if he's a shit worker you might even be able to save on childcare?

*shift worker......very unfortunate typo sorry.

You have worked out your benefit entitlements incorrectly. You would have your benefits assessed on the single income not your previous double income because... they take the change of circumstances into account.

You should reassess what your family income would be using accurate figures. There is a website you can enter your details into to get this information.

Can't believe there are people who think £1000 a month is rare, half the people in deprived areas live on less than that. No wonder the op is trying to see a way around living hand to mouth. Also if he moves back to his mums it won't be commiting fraud. Some families have to do this in the real world to bring a child up. Do you think she would choose to split her family up if a living wage was paid to everyone.

Have you actually put your figures into the calculator a PP linked to? If you do a joint claim on such a low wage, you would be entitled to a decent amount of tax credits, both WTC and CTC. Your entitlement won't be based on last years wages, as your current income is so much less. Are you in a Universal Credit area?

Trying to scam tax credits is seriously crazy. It's the most scrutinised benefit, as it's the largest amount of money. Someone will report you. All it takes is to piss your neighbour off a bit, and you will be screwed.

There's a daytime telly programme called "Claimed and Shamed" that shows you how benefit fraud investigators go after people. Find an episode on YouTube, and it will put you off!

That is very interesting movingtoparadise. It works though doesn't it? Let's vilify the poor..

It is not fraud. If he doesn't live there, it is morally questionable but not illegal.

You might not think it's fraud Trifleorbust, but HMRC (the people whose opinions actually matter) tend to think differently.

This website explains it all in great detail.

WomblingThree

Firstly, you are very rude.

Secondly, where in that document does it say that a person in a relationship but not cohabiting would be committing fraud here? I read it but can't see it. I am happy to admit to being wrong if if you can point it out.

I'm not rude. You state your opinions as fact and don't like anyone arguing with you. You must be a genius to have read all that in less than five minutes. I would say it's a good hour's worth of reading for most people.