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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to live apart from partner to be financially better off?

175 replies

Sunshineroses90 · 16/05/2017 22:49

I currently live with my partner, I'm planning on coming out of work to raise our child. This is partly due to ridiculous childcare costs I'd be £200+ per month out of pocket and I down to the fact I'm the lowest earner out of myself and my partner so it makes more sense for me to lose my wage as opposed to him.

We've been discussing tonight him going back to live with his parents/grandmother in order for me to have a better income and to be entitled to more benefits, we want to prevent living off the bones of our backsides his wage wouldn't cover us and bills (he earns £1000-1200 per month). We wouldn't qualify for much if we put a joint claim in hence wanting to live apart. Is this wrong? All of our family members work full time so nobody to rely on to babysit our child.

OP posts:
Dawndonnaagain · 17/05/2017 08:55

Did anyone see that thread the other day about people posting inflammatory threads to make people vote the direction they wanted to?

So on that note, and just for balance you understand. There's very few people who do what the OP is suggesting, in fact millions of pounds of benefits go unclaimed every year.

Benefit fraud makes up a tiny percentage of GDP. Less than what goes unclaimed by people who actually deserve it.

^This

RebootYourEngine · 17/05/2017 08:57

Op you said that the claim is based on last years wages. I am assuming you are speaking about tax credits. This isnt true. If you have a change of circumstances you inform the tax credits and your payments get adjusted.

dataandspot · 17/05/2017 09:10

Dawn

It's interesting no one is commenting on the posts which tell of ambulance drivers only taking home £1000 a month.......

elisa2502 · 17/05/2017 09:15

It's wrong and benefit fraud!!!

Magpiemagpie · 17/05/2017 09:22

In my previous life I dealt with a lot of stuff like this . I may be out of the loop a bit now and this might not be correct anymore but here is my opinion

OP Fraud Is mainly discovered now by Data fraud checking through credit files

when you put a claim in for benefit they can arrange via a third party to do a credit check on you to see if what you put on the claim (single ) matches with the electrol roll / credit file . If there is anything that is flagged up like still. Ring on the ER credit cards or loans then it's taken further to investigate
This

People splitting up / single mums are top of the list to be checked as it's a fraud that's in theory easy to do but also easy to catch out . As so much is on credit files in this day and age .So it's a blue print of sorts to your life and very hard evidence if your caught out

The main ones are who is on electoral roll , any joint bank accounts
Loans taken out at the house after your supposed to have split up
Credit cards taken out after you have split up in his name or joint
They can get your credit report and see any associations you have with anyone else at your address

You would have agreed to this check when you sign up for benefit tax credit ( it's in the small print )

The main reason why people get caught is they don't see what they are doing is criminal ( which it is )
so they don't think like criminals so they carry on acting exactly the same way as they did before .
So they carry on being a couple financially , posting days out on face book . Posting that they are a couple on Facebook crap . Living together cooking and shopping together .

So many people get caught out by bloody face book it's unreal posting holidays snaps, weddings, really smart criminals . It also makes it easy for friend to screen shot it and send it off as evidence to the DWP

So if you are going down this route make sure he is on electroll roll at his parents / grans straight away
Car insurance driving licence and bank accounts all moved as well

Work address changed to parents / grans

Don't tell anyone what you are doing either . Not even his parents just say you are splitting up for a while

Don't post shit on face book/ social media with photos of you and boyfriend and baby on a day out . Blah blah

Change your profile to single on face book

Don't give your email address to DWP on forms either .

But my advice is not to do it and to claim tax credits you will be better off

It will be you who is prosecuted if your the only name on the claim which it is likely to be as well .
Nothing will happen to your boyfriend he will get off Scott free if he is not on the claim which is ok as he can look after the baby if you end up in jail

The lady who was someone posted a link to getting caught
It says it was a tip off which is might have been but a tip off isn't enough
There has to be solid evidence like photos , Facebook posts electrol roll bank accounts, joint . credit , like someone paying for sky at the house or bills in the DH names . All of which is evidence of living together

Just ringing up and reporting someone isn't enough . It will be looked at but if there isn't enough evidence nothing will be done or they might get a compliance interview

Leonardo44 · 17/05/2017 09:45

I don't understand a couple of things from your post. You say you are the lower earner yet you were bringing home 1300-1500 a month? Also they won't go on last years figures if you currently have no income, it doesn't work like that.

If your DP wants to train in something presumably he would not be earning much if anything during this time so you would be entitled to more benefits anyway. If distance is an issue, why not both move in with his parents.

If he moved out and continued working while saving/spending that money on the both of you, then yes that is fraud.

Oh, and you also get help with childcare on a low income. I think you can get up to 80% childcare paid by the government.

LovelyBath77 · 17/05/2017 09:48

Well with tax credits, you have to state if you have a partner, so if you state no and he visits you etc that will be looked into, it;s one of the main tax credit fraud areas I think.

This is why benefits can push people apart, can see why families break up, if there is a financial incentive to do so and the relationship isn't working well anyway, you can see what would happen.

It's the way things are for families.

LovelyBath77 · 17/05/2017 09:51

Bit Shock at people advising the OP how to get away with fraud-

"So if you are going down this route make sure he is on electroll roll at his parents / grans straight away
Car insurance driving licence and bank accounts all moved as well

Work address changed to parents / grans

Don't tell anyone what you are doing either . Not even his parents just say you are splitting up for a while

Don't post shit on face book/ social media with photos of you and boyfriend and baby on a day out . Blah blah

Change your profile to single on face book"

!!!

LovelyBath77 · 17/05/2017 09:53

Also on 12K a year, even with the Op having a part time job (or not) they still should get tax credits / universal credit. Just not as much as the OP claiming as a single mum, of course.

But maybe for some people getting the right amount isn't enough...they want to screw the system instead.

troodiedoo · 17/05/2017 09:59

My xh does this with his new partner. He keeps saying he's going to move in properly but it's been four years so far...

Tax credits are wise that a lot of people do it, and as a pp said put a lot of effort into investigating it. But if someone is paying bills and rent somewhere else then there's nothing they can do. It's a loophole. Morally is wrong but not illegal as it stands I think

SemiNormal · 17/05/2017 10:18

LovelyBath77 - I agree. I find it sickening to be honest.

As for people mentioning that benefit fraud doesn't cost the government much ... IDGAF it shouldn't be costing anyone anything AT ALL. That money isn't 'free money' it's money that other people have paid in through working but people just think of it as nice big pot of free money to dip their hands into every fucking opportunity. I hate this entitled kind of mentality.

Just to clarify I have no issue with people using the benefits system for its intended purpose but some people just massively take the piss. If we all did it we'd be right fucked wouldn't we. No wonder the rich are up in arms about paying more tax, if I were rich I would be too!

blackteasplease · 17/05/2017 10:21

It looks like OP's bloke isn't planning to pay any rent or bills. He's just going to "stay with his parents". Otherwise they'd be no saving to them.

All smacks of ill thought through attempt by bloke to evade his responsibilities and keep his wages as his own pocket money rather than supporting a partner and child.

Not absolving OP of responsibility here but it's unlikely that this will be a good arrangement for her.

Stay living together. Go to work. You and partner divide housework and before/after work childcare equally as you will both be working. Claim any working tax credits you can.

As you're not married you frankly don't want to be a sahm anyway.

Child minder is usually cheaper option than nursery.

LovelyBath77 · 17/05/2017 10:22

Well new claims will be universal credit in most areas now and there won't be new claims for tax credits anymore (so guess I should be telling the OP to add to the other advice "Do it fast!" Hmm

It's also kind of sad in a way, behaving like an infant running back to mum and dad rather than being a parent...

LovelyBath77 · 17/05/2017 10:25

From the tax credits calculator online. With him on 12K and OP not working-

Tax credits calculator

Results

You may be able to get the following tax credits.

This is based on the details you have entered, and could change if your circumstances change.

Child Tax Credit

You could get

£470.01 every four weeks
towards your household costs

Working Tax Credit

You could get

£191.83 every four weeks
towards your household costs

How you qualify
This is based on your household income of £12,000

Obviously not enough though Hmm

LovelyBath77 · 17/05/2017 10:30

If Op is not working, I guess that would mean a new claim for Universal Credit though, as isn't tax credits just for those in work. Unless she worked though and got the childcare paid for with tax credits, I suppose.

I did a check with tax credits for a single person with two kids working 16 hrs at 5K a year, and £300 childcare costs per week. Look what it said!

Tax credits calculator

Results

You may be able to get the following tax credits.

This is based on the details you have entered, and could change if your circumstances change.

Child Tax Credit

You could get

£470.01 every four weeks
towards your household costs

Working Tax Credit

You could get

£1,145.48 every four weeks
towards your household costs

How you qualify
This is based on your household income of £5,000

I suppose this includes childcare! Blimey!!

LovelyBath77 · 17/05/2017 10:30

And they'd have his income as well (12K).

Bumbumtaloo · 17/05/2017 10:35

On the figures above with CTC and WTC with 16hrs work it would be £7255 a year (based on 13 payments) and then housing and council tax benefits on top.

LovelyBath77 · 17/05/2017 10:38

It's almost doubling their income isn't it.

Bumbumtaloo · 17/05/2017 10:38

Hang on no it wouldn't!! It would be £21k plus housing and council tax benefits and the £12k the partner earns.

LovelyBath77 · 17/05/2017 10:39

Ok so the figure I cut and paste, presumably would include childcare costs of £300 a week, still a huge amount of taxpayer's money though.

I wonder how it will work with Universal Credit, if they will make checks etc.

LovelyBath77 · 17/05/2017 10:43

Another things, maintenance os not calculated in tax credits calculations. I know of someone with two children, two ex-partners, each pays maintenance but this is not included in the calculation. So it is possible to do this and also have this extra money as well...

Bumbumtaloo · 17/05/2017 10:46

LovelyBath77 I'm assuming that would include the childcare costs. And the benefit cap would not be applied.

www.gov.uk/benefit-cap

LovelyBath77 · 17/05/2017 10:46

Sorry forgot to mention, the numbers were for a mum with two children.

LovelyBath77 · 17/05/2017 10:47

Well, even if there was a benefit cap, presumably maintenance would not be benefits so not included, and extra? Not sure Confused

LovelyBath77 · 17/05/2017 10:50

CAB says

Some people are exempt from the Benefit Cap. This means their benefit isn't capped, even if their benefit income is above the limit of the cap.

For example, your benefit won't be capped if:

you get Working Tax Credit

So looks like would be exempt if she was working part time. Might change with UC though.

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